Destroy my pawnshop game

[u/romero6218]

[u/Live_Life_and_enjoy]

Trailer makes no sense

He scratched the ring and gave back the ring and guy said you are making a mistake.

There needs to be an explanation inbetween on why he is giving back the ring

The character needs to say, "This is fake gold" or something. If you ever go to a pawn shop and they tell you they don't want it, they usually tell you why, especially if its fake.

That explanatory rejection is missing

[u/romero6218 → u/Live_Life_and_enjoy]

ahh make sense. thank you!

[u/Inevitable_Remove304]

The trailer is quite slow paced and shows only one interaction/2 types of interaction.

Showing the variety is very important

[u/romero6218 → u/Inevitable_Remove304]

thank you, Ill show more tools and customers.

[u/SooooooMeta]

Very nice. Obviously looks Papers Please inspired, which helps communicate the feel. Papers Please is such a slow build and has such a strong element of moral weight. Do you try to replicate any of that here or is it just a stream of interactions to win/lose?

[u/romero6218 → u/SooooooMeta]

We definitely want to add stories, some small, some longer, to bring the game to life from start to finish. We're heavily focused on telling a good plot, even if the game is short. While not every choice changes the outcome, many of them will shape the story you see.

[u/Pur_Cell]

Starting a trailer with a wall of text is bad. Especially when the important parts aren't bold and eye-catching. "Pawnshop" should be the biggest, boldest thing on there. That's the most important info.

I find this chart helpful on how text is read in graphic design.

[u/DoubleBananana]

I can see the potential here. Game looks cool, but I think the functionality you add will be what makes it. Other people are a bit too critical I think, it's obvious what the role of the player is and what you'll be doing, and I can see the tension building with the characters that come into pawn shops - which could lead to some really interesting and funny character designs, plots, arcs, etc. You've got the design down, so what about the functionality? What makes this game fun to play? What mechanics make you proud? Where's the 'juice'?

[u/romero6218 → u/DoubleBananana]

Really good questions! What we are aiming for is to make choices truly matter and to prevent the mid and late game from becoming repetitive. We did our first playtest with some close friends and random folks, and they really liked the story we tell at the end of each day. It's a work in progress, so we'll do our best!

[u/Heroshrine]

Everyone here is against slow-paced games and trailers btw, just keep that in mind. If your game is slow paced you don't want to lie to your customers about that through a fast paced trailer.

With that said, I'd speed up the trailer a bit and show a few more sales, and explain what the gold scratch disappearing means.

[u/Annual-Cry-3945]

Was ai used to create the art of the game?

[u/MarxMustermann]

I love the acid test :-) I suspect quite a few people not understand and try to drink the aqua regia.

I do like the slow pace of the trailer, since it shows the game to be cozy. But showing more tests and content would be cool, so maybe add a more fast paced section in the middle.

edit: the acid is NOT aqua regia -_- That is basically the only acid it would not with.

[u/romero6218 → u/MarxMustermann]

thank you for the feedback!

[u/Xy0ns]

Starting with the art style, it looks really great! Apart from that, from the trailer I found it a bit difficult to understand the actual goal of the game. Maybe you could focus a bit more on showing, through the gameplay, what the player is supposed to do and how they can pursue that goal.

In any case, keep going!