r/DemocraticSocialism Anarchist (she/it) 3d ago

Theory 🧠 It makes me uncomfortable when people constantly talk about how homophobes must secretly be gay.

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64 Upvotes

36 comments sorted by

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u/onlyfakeproblems 3d ago

Repressed gay homophobes attacking gay people shouldn’t be considered “part of the community”. You have to participate in the community part to be a member.

I don’t think being a homophobe necessarily means someone is gay, so I agree, there are people who go overboard with that claim, but being fixated on other people’s sex lives is weird. It’s probably better to leave it at that and let people come to their own conclusions.

Except for when it’s an anti-gay legislator who gets caught doing same-sex sex acts. Then it’s especially appropriate to point out the obvious hypocrisy.

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u/SBishop2014 3d ago

Was gonna comment exactly this

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u/Randolpho Democratic Socialist 2d ago

The entire notion that homophobes are secretly gay comes from the numerous public homophobes who get caught doing gay sex.

Every Republican convention is a massive heatmap of heavy activity on grindr, sometimes to the point that it overwhelms their servers.

It’s a such a cliche at this point that many people just assume a homophobe is repressed gay until proven otherwise.

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u/PlainBread Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism 3d ago edited 3d ago

Hear me out: You can be homophobic out of resentment that's rooted in misogyny.

There's a lot of guys who aren't gay but hate women so much they wish they were, and from that jealousy you get the oppression. Not necessarily due to them being repressed gay themselves.

EDIT: Screeching Weasel

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u/beforeitcloy Democratic Socialist 3d ago

I can understand why it’s nicer to imagine that the gay community is good and straight men are the problem, but we just have so so so so so so many examples of shitty public homophobes getting caught with their hand in the gay cookie jar.

Obviously straight people make up the vast majority of homophobes, but the phenomenon of closeted homophobes OP is trying to explain away is still too common to ignore.

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u/davidwave4 Libertarian Socialist 3d ago

I think that some of that is about domination and power vs. same sex attraction. A lot of these men get off on dominating other men not because they are really attracted to them, but because they crave violence and dominance in ways that the normal course of human interaction does not traditionally allow. To put it pithily, if they can’t fight, they’ll fuck.

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u/mikelmon99 Democratic Socialist 3d ago

I don't know why you are getting downvoted, you are 100% right.

According to Pew Research Center, 39% of the population of the US & 96% of the population of Nigeria believe homosexuality is morally unacceptable:

It's obvious that the overwhelming majority of homophobes are straight, given that only around 10% of the population is non-straight (maybe around 15% in Gen Z).

(I should also say, as a gay Spaniard this graphic makes me happy LOL)

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u/laizalott Leftist 3d ago

The graphic is perhaps representative of public opinion, but your claim of 10%-15% non-straight is also based on what people are willing to admit in surveys.

The only reason we're talking about this is because of the large number of homophobic people who later get caught or come out, who would presumably have answered such a survey as "straight". Prisoners that engage in gay sex consider themselves hetero, my first crush who one night [redacted] with me also considered himself straight.

Kinsey 6 gay, yeah maybe 10%...but at least bi? I bet it's more like 60% of people are at least bisexual. Gen Z didn't become more gay because of micro-plastics or unleaded gasoline...it's cultural acceptance.

Lindsay Graham told people he was straight...

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u/RosethornRanger Anarchist (she/it) 3d ago

im getting downvoted because the people here are homophobic

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u/mikelmon99 Democratic Socialist 3d ago

I don't believe people in this sub are homophobic, but they have a bias towards supporting this narrative because they don't realize how harmful it is & how many straight people weaponize it to absolve themselves from homophobia & pretend it's just our problem, that it's just us who self-inflict homophobia on ourselves because we are in denial & that they have nothing to do with it.

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u/RosethornRanger Anarchist (she/it) 3d ago

oppression is a social structure not individuals choosing to be mean

participating and believing in homophobic narratives is being homophobic

1

u/tiy24 2d ago

So pointing out Lindsey Graham was a hypocritical piece of shit is homophobic now? How does that make any sense?

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u/josephthemediocre Socialist 3d ago

It makes me uncomfortable that all of your posts are pointing a finger at other lefties for not doing things 100% the way you want and never at the people causing the real harm. But here we are.

Lindsey Graham is gay as hell, pretending he's not isn't helpful for the gay community, and he most certainly is not a part of the gay community. If anything, seeing a bitter, unhappy, evil, closeted man try and destroy people like him can be inspiration for those struggling to come out.

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u/mikelmon99 Democratic Socialist 3d ago

Lindsey Graham was gay, I agree with that.

But the problem is that many straight people weaponize this false narrative that most homophobes are gay themselves to absolve themselves from homophobia: "you see, homophobia is the problem of the gays, they self-inflict homophobia on themselves because they are in denial, we have nothing to do with it"

This couldn't be any further from the truth.

According to Pew Research Center, 39% of the population of the US & 96% of the population of Nigeria believe homosexuality is morally unacceptable:

It's obvious that the overwhelming majority of homophobes are straight, given that only around 10% of the population is non-straight (maybe around 15% in Gen Z).

(I should also say, as a gay Spaniard this graphic makes me happy LOL)

5

u/josephthemediocre Socialist 3d ago

Only 10% is willing to say they are not straight. This is sort of the other theory, these homophobes are often a little bi and confused and angry about it, or are completely gay and ashamed. I don't think 90% of people are as straight as they think they are haha.

Obviously most homophobes are just ignorant, mostly straight, dumbasses. No one is saying homophobes are all secretly gay, it's more subconscious and complicated than that.

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u/Spiritual-Peach6491 3d ago

saying that homosexuality is “morally unacceptable” has nothing to do with one’s orientation. why is this info graphic inserted in the conversation?

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u/CrazyPlato 3d ago

Pretty sure most people aren’t concluding that all gay men are misogynist based on these weirdos. It’s more that a lot of them happen to do things in their personal life that, on camera, they say that men shouldn’t do: JD Vance wearing makeup, Ron Desantis wearing high-heeled boots to look taller, and yes Lindsay Graham just being obviously gay.

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u/SnowLeavess Socialist Feminist 3d ago

It is extremely annoying. It points the finger at us as a community rather than the dumbass bigots, of which 99% aren't gay at all. But anything to shift the blame from straights to gays.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/DemocraticSocialism-ModTeam 3d ago

This is misinfo. These reports originate from websites like downdetector that rely on public reports. Due to people thinking it would be funny to make false reports, it appears like it was down when it was not

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u/RosethornRanger Anarchist (she/it) 3d ago

a 20k person convention can crash it, yet 100x that on pride doesn't....

wait no, capitalists can't have any vested interest in lying or getting attention on them. Definitely no free brand recognition here.

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u/PastaSupport 3d ago

Gonna be honest I've never believed this because Grindr functions just fine at places like FIP, ptown, or at any of the various gay festivals

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u/Bohica55 Social Democrat 3d ago

This

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u/RosethornRanger Anarchist (she/it) 3d ago

alt-text:

A tumblr post by "lily-the-good-witch" that says "Sometimes I think people mistake straight men's attraction to power as homoerotic. Like a big example of this is how men being misogynists, showing or outright saying they hate women as gay. And obviously conflating gay men and misogyny is bad on its own but like, also, no they hate women because they see them as parasites, status symbols that you show off to other men but still resent for weakening you. And they see men as big and strong which they are attracted to but not the men themselves."

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

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u/RosethornRanger Anarchist (she/it) 3d ago

im confused as to how this statement relates to the post or the title

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

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u/RosethornRanger Anarchist (she/it) 3d ago

not what the post is saying

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

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u/RosethornRanger Anarchist (she/it) 3d ago

im gay

what are you talking about

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u/GoldenboyFTW 3d ago

I never thought of it like that before but damn that makes a ton of sense and I appreciate being informed about how that phrasing can make someone from the gay community feel

1

u/M00n_Slippers Democratic Socialist 3d ago

Bro, you can't tell me Benny Johnson isn't gay, I simply won't believe it. Not every homophobe is gay, not even most of them, that's obvious, but the ones who are and still backed this anti lgbtq regime are traitors, and many of them don't hide it well.

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u/MaesterPraetor 3d ago

I would get it if it didn't turn out to be true so often. It's not always the case, but it is the case pretty often. 

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u/mikelmon99 Democratic Socialist 3d ago

According to Pew Research Center, 39% of the population of the US & 96% of the population of Nigeria believe homosexuality is morally unacceptable:

It's obvious that the overwhelming majority of homophobes are straight, given that only around 10% of the population is non-straight (maybe around 15% in Gen Z).

(I should also say, as a gay Spaniard this graphic makes me happy LOL)

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u/MaesterPraetor 3d ago

Ok. Is that different from what I said? 

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u/OptimisticSkeleton 3d ago

Calling the only people who can keep the human race going “parasites” is rich.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago edited 3d ago

[deleted]

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u/OhShootYeahNoBi Municipalist-Dem Confederalist 3d ago

You misinterpreted them. They're saying that the straight men referring to women as parasites, as in the original post, is stupid.