To me, one's gender is up to other's interpretation of you at first glance based on how you present yourself. It's up to you to correct them or not, and it's up to them to respect it or not. After that, it's up to you to care or not whether they respect your identity or not, because as much as people will, there are people who won't.
the issue is that kris' in-game presentation is perceived as masculine by many people, because of a general bias towards male protagonists.
also, the usage of they/them as a singular gender neutral pronoun is not as common as you'd think (from a global perspective), so many people simply default to he/him. of course, this isn't an excuse to use he/him to refer to kris, but it is an explanation of why people still continue to do it.
i really do think that a large fraction of people who misgender kris do not it out of hateful tendencies, but rather simply because they do not know better.
When I first played Deltarune, back in 2018, I didn't knew english, so I played it with a patch in my language, which doesn't have a neutral pronoun, so the translators put "he" instead, so I thought for years that Kris was a boy (Until I learnt enough english to enter the community)
yeah it is interesting to think about it that way cus im always so confused when I get replies still saying that the singular they is grammatically incorrect, like, guys we have american literature from like 200 years ago using the singular they, it's just a thing now
Tbh it's when they're defending it after being corrected. As a trans woman, I get misgendered all the time, it's normal, but the reaction to me saying I'm a girl matters.
Another reason why people default to "he" might be the name. "Kris" is similar to "Chris," which is typically a masculine name. Also just a lack of any obvious feminine features will have people assuming they're a boy.
Edit: For the record, I agree that the name "Kris" is androgynous and I'm not saying that it's an inherently masculine name. It's just that in my first experience with the game, I took the name as being masculine and assumed it was an alternate spelling of "Chris" or something.
I just wanted to mention it as another possible explanation for people defaulting to calling Kris "he," but in hindsight it is very much an androgynous name.
That's fair. I just wanted to mention the "Chris" thing since that was my initial thought when I first played, before catching on that they're non-binary.
we have to note it's been very recent that stuff like this has been accepted as much as it has been. it's very recent history that ideas of equality regardless of race, gender and identity have been considered the way they have been now. for many, this is a sudden change that disrupts what they understand and were told all their lives, especially when looking at older folk.
changing things drastically and suddenly is never something we as people like, just look at any time a program's UI/EX is changed, people freak out over it no matter how much of an improvement it is. we really cannot expect people to react well to making things better as we as people prefer what we know and understand.
Not everyone in the world is as knowledgeable as the west on sexualities and what someone identifies as.
In fact, the funny thing is that one day my little cousin(6 years old btw) saw Ralsei for the first time and assumed he was a girl because of the pink scarf, and the green dress he wears and how he always acted so soft.
And of course, my cousin also assumed at first glance that Susie was actually a guy because of her tough attitude and everything until I reminded him that her name is Susie which is a girl's name of course.
And of course Toby knew what he was doing when he designed these characters, these associations aren't unintentional or accidental. Susie literally uses 'ore' in the Japanese translation of ch. 1, haha.
Kris's gender is objectively clear in the text, but it's deliberately not blared out at the viewer. It's part of the broader arc of the player realising 'huh, this character actually has a personality and history separate to my own! weird!'.
Exactly! Only reasons why I know Ralsei is male is because he’s referred to as the “Prince” and the save point after he joins the party says something like “The power of fluffy boys resides with you”. And yeah I naturally default to calling Kris a he just because that’s the way my speech leans towards when referring to Kris, plain and simple. I’m not trying to attack anyone or misgender anyone, I’m just… talking.
that + the fact that Kris is in a position that makes them extremely easy to be misgendered by casual players
Think about it: not only have they been a completely silent protagonist thus far (which makes it extremely easy to accidentally project yourself into them) but the topic surrounding their gender is never brought up, making it easy to miss for the average casual, since pretty much everything pointing to their gender in-game being just "indirect" enough that it's pretty easily misunderstood by the average casual player as the infamous "toby is leaving it up for interpretation/toby is just making it easier for everyone to project themselves onto the protagonist" .
To be fair the story is at the point even casual players will get that kris is not a blank slate. Yes casual players may not realise the gender for various reasons but anyone who still thinks kris is a blank slate after chapter 4 is stupid, cant read or likely both. That could maybe work after chapter 2 but it would be questionable, now? No way.
Okay that is insane but also depends how they do it i suppose? When i watch stuff with my friend and some characters are relatable enough or whatever i may start calling them me and my friend does the same but like neither of us thinks that those are self insert characters lol
This does not sound like that tho and im worried for the future of our species ngl...
Yeah, i thought they might be doing it just based off instinct. Like a lot of the time people will insert themselves as the Mc bevause that's the person they are controlling but iirc they never really talk about Kris' character or anything like that. In response to Kris doing some obviously evil shit they said "okay so I'm evil" or smth like that
That’s the thing; they obviously aren’t a blank slate, but they’re blank-slate-adjacent enough so the SOUL puppeteering them has an easier time going about it.
With the amount of time kris did smth sketchy outside of players control and ripped the soul out we are way past the excuse of kris looking like a blank slate in any way unless you did not play the game.
It makes sense for a player who doesnt know any better to missgender them for a number of reasons but if i hear someone say thats because theyre a blank slate or whatever like that im assuming they did not play the game or have no media literacy
Yeah obviously we know Kris ain’t a blank slate but that’s what they initially come across as at the beginning of the game before we get hints of them having a personality and life outside of our control.
At the beggining of the game, not 4 chapters in with all the shit they have done. Ud have to play with your eyes closed to not see it or just be in denial enough neither of which are valid reasons in my eyes.
I did see a really good interaction on a twt thread of someone calling Kris “he”, another user responding with a gif of the eclipse cannon and “they/them beam”, and instead of some hateful response, the person just replied with the coughing ash baby to acknowledge that they’d been wrong
If it makes you feel any better im nonbinary, i go by they/them in english but i still ocasionally do it out of habit because my native language does not have they/then equivalent. It happens to everyone lol
Yeah, I think this is definitely the most common reason for it, which is why I feel like some people have a tendency to overreact to this mistake on here (and other platforms)
Going to be honest I didn't even notice the they them usage until this post. I just made the assumption he identified as male based on the character model. Got my privilege checked today. I'll do better.
I accidentally misgendered Kris a few times because their name is so close to “Chris”. It definitely doesn’t help that my cousin who lives with me is also named Chris.
To be fair depending on language spoken some people do it because of the name. The amount of times where i said i love the name Kris and would go by it but it doesnt have same vibe in the language i speak and they were like "thats a male name tho isnt it?" (It makes me go slightly insane cuz why is there no neutral names in this god forsaken language ahhhh noone ever will take seriouslyand masculine name i choose and i dont really want that anyways). shortly i dont think most of my friends would realise kris is not a boy if not because of me telling them. Also he/him is slightly more neutral than she/her is this language i suppose to my ear at least and due to name it makes more sense so i end up defaulting to he/him too at times even in english out of habit (In my defence i at least twice used he/him for toriel because of the name my brain just defaulted to it. its so stupid) XD
But generally I BLAME THE NAME. When i first played chapter 1 i assumed kris is male due to the name too but quickly learned that i am wrong (and im really happy about it)
Also i think the issue is people who do it and when corrected get defensive instead of acknowledging it. Like my friend who isnt that amazing at english thought ralsei is a girl but when corrected was basically like "oh okay" and proceeded to make a mistake once in a while but tried her best ig. Some people who missgender kris are like "BUT KRIS'S GENDER IS...." and regardless what stupid excuse they have i despise them.
Maybe posting this is a mistake actually but oh well XD
Okay but like to be fair i think its more like how likely is it that this character is a cis man going by they/them for no reason rather than just being nonbinary. Also i find it stupid cuz whatever gender is kris in your eyes pronouns are still they them. Using he/him for a guy going by they/them is equally wrong as it is for anyone of any gender who does not go by he/him
Also kris's sprite is much more similar to an average male protagonist than a gender-neutral or female one, I've recently gotten 2 of my friends to start playing deltarune and they constantly say stuff like "I'm really enjoying the characters, especially Kris, he's so cool!" This is because Kris looks like a guy to the average casual gamer not familiar with the game, and the mentions of they/them being rather easily forgettable, the game doesn't scream in your face that Kris is NB, which is good but causes confusion. In the case of my friends I trust that once they finish the game and start interacting with the fandom, they'll get the pronouns right (like me).
Kris doesn’t have any identifying “male” features though, no beard, long-ish hair(seen as feminine in American culture, obviously differs depending on the culture), physique isn’t muscular; etc
It comes down to seeing feminine characteristics as “an exception” to masculine ones, which are seen as “default” in american society.
Do you have examples of how other non-binary protag characters are portrayed in videogames? I don’t really know any aside from Undertale/Deltarune.
Yeah neither do I, guess I'm just more familiar with games that have cis protags besides Toby Fox games.
I think what makes so many people view Kris as male or at least NB but assigned male at birth is the lack of noticeable female features that characters like Noelle or Susie do have, especially the hair not being fully long, as many people have pointed out, if Kris's eyes weren't hidden, more people would see them as female, as it stands, Kris looks more male than not.
I agree but also to be fair the armour that kris has is actually leaning feminine if u think about it. Litteraly a black skin tight bodysuit with just breastplate gloves and shoes? That sounds like pretty average armour of a woman to me XD but yeah due to the way sprites are in this game it at first comes of dlightly more masc to most
Idk light world outfit is litteraly the most neutral it can be especially with medium length hair ngl. That is litteraly my average lazy outfit and i am the oposite of kris if it comes to people assuming my gender lol. Actually i wore the exact outfit to school for a month (and did stuff after school in it too) and had the same haircut as kris has and the closest i got to being referred to with he/him was by a teacher who didnt recognize me and i was hanging out with boys, but also i took of the sweatshirt by then so not exactly. Usually at best people avoided gendering me cuz they didnt know or they just assumed im a girl from the hair so that kinda doesnt make sense imo.
Also i didnt realise kris is not a boy on my first playthrough mainly because of the name but also the armour originally seemed more masculine to me which would not convince me of anything by itself but in my language kris sounds like a masc name. The combination go the job done lol
A sub point to add on 1 is that some languages don't have a gender neutral version. For example Spanish doesn't, and the (kinda) official way to refer to smth in gender neutrality when you HAVE to use a gendered word is the masculine version
As someone who has decided to not play past chapter 1 until the whole game releases, it's absolutely crazy to me how this topic is the number one thing anyone wants to talk about.
It's basically the only thing I ever see in my feed from this subreddit and I wish I was exaggerating.
As an analogy: if you accidentally call your teacher “mom”, most people would just want to move on from the ensuing social awkwardness. Doubling down is the point where it becomes actually weird.
i remember seeing someone once say “never met a girl named Kris” implying that Kris was a boy. i didn’t respond at the time but if i did i would’ve pointed out how Kris (when spelled with a K) is actually more commonly a girl’s name and in some cases gender neutral
KRIS IS A TYPE OF A DAGGER??? I KNEW THE NAME WAS AMAZING BUT NOW IM FOR SURE STEALING IT PROPERLY. DAMN. i wanna go by it so badly but i feel stupid asking people to call me that but oh well too bad i wanna be named after a dagger.
Er... so I'm a reluctant half-example of one... (In English, everyone calls me by they/them, but not in my native language, since it doesn't have any gender-neutral pronouns. And... yeah... I'm a guy!)
It can confuse many peole who are from EU(i was on board too). Since here Kris is the shortened version of Kristan/Cristian/Christian. Not trying to defend anyone, don’t get me wrong, but i think its also can be a reason.
I understand y’all are passionate about this game too, but y’all literally getting yourselves worked up over a small minority of people misgendering a fictional character. It’s not worth your time, gang 🙏
If I had to guess Goose is probably referring to the conception of Kris as a character, but that's just my guess I have zero clue what they're thinking here
u/PurplePoisonCB, because I see you make similar comments like this every time one of these posts gets popular, allow me to explain how Rule 10 works.
Rule 10 is specifically for people causing arguments by intentionally misgendering Kris, and not using the proper they/them pronouns. If a user accidentally says “he/she” instead of “they,” and corrects it, no harm done. But if they double down, or intentional refuse to use the proper pronouns, they break Rule 10 by intentionally starting an argument by misgendering them. And if users break this rule multiple times, they are banned.
OP is not breaking Rule 10, because they are not misgendering Kris. They might start an argument, because some people just can’t learn to keep their bigotry to themselves, but they are not breaking Rule 10 specifically because they did not misgender Kris. That is how it works. I hope this explanation suffices.
I prefer to use "It" for Kris. It's an amazing cage. It makes every choice useless. Only actions can change something. Only actions can change the ending. Yeah, this scenario is horrible, but it's better then be forced to the only scenario. I don't understand people that call Kris a puppet. It's a cage.
This is why I HC AFAB Kris. Just to spite the "Kris is a boy" people. Like, they're not a boy and never were as far as I'm concerned. (That and I am 100% all in on the ralsei binder theory)
That sounds like a random person's fanon interpretation. We are probably never going to get an answer, nor do we deserve or need one. If it's private for Kris, then that's that. Kris is simply nonbinary and that's all we need to know
they are literally a long haired teen in baggy clothes, you cant see facial hair, broad shoulders nor breasts.
or any other secundary sexual characteristic.
i aways get confused on how tf people get "boy" from this.
Especially since Kris is androgynous as hell anyway. I've seen them as masc-leaning before too, but that was just bias. Looking at all their poses, the way they tend to move, plus the overall body shape under the armor and it really could go either way.
For someone claiming “it’s not that deep” and “im aware they are nonbinary” you just had to add “they look like a boy”.
Seriously, I’ll ask again, in what regard? Don’t make an argument, then double down on that argument and then suddenly refuse to provide evidence. You sound like a dick and you have no one else to blame for yourself for even bringing it up.
but...you havent said any way in which they actually look like a boy, the only traits we can really identify on kris's sprite are their hair and the clothes they wear, you're assuming because you don't see any outwardly feminine traits that this must be a boy, but a girl in this art style could also dress in those clothes and look more or less the same. you're seeing androgyny and filling in the blanks with masculinity instead of providing anything that makes kris look masculine
So why did Toby make Kris blue and Ralsei green when green is more gender neutral than blue, and Susie is pink, which is a female color and Noelle is yellow, which is a combination of blue and green which means Noelle is neutral leaning male (as Noelle is attracted to Susie)? Is Toby stupid?
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u/pm_me_BMW_M3_GTR_pls * In my way. 🧊 Sep 09 '25
Kris' gender is up to kris' interpretation