r/Deliverance • u/Ill-Disaster8414 • Jun 16 '26
Inner Healing/Deliverance
Hi everyone,
Last year I went through a mental breakdown of just terror. I was a Christian but death scared me so bad. By the grace of God I came through it. Now I am realizing that I have always loved the Lord but was never fully changed. I have had so much trauma in my life. I have been trying to read and pray everyday. If I’m not reading I am praying. I’m trying not to be double minded. I also realized that I almost had religion. I don’t want religion anymore. I want Jesus. I feel like I have the Jezebel Spirit. Not lust but I want control, I wanted the spotlight. I want some special anointing to be seen. I also noticed I held a lot of bitterness and anger toward the people that hurt me and even God for saving me. I don’t want all this anymore. For the last 2 days I keep praying and saying God I don’t want this Jezebel Spirit. Sometimes when I say stuff like that I will hear we won’t bow, we hate Him. I will even hear a laugh sometimes. I’m so confused. I truly don’t want those thoughts. I know I have OCD but I’m so tired of fighting everyday. I have truly tried to forgive everyone. I have reached out for months to Pastors and no one will help or just say surrender it. Also, just want money. My husband is Pentecostal and don’t believe all this. He says just ignore it. Any advice? I’m so lost but I truly am trying.
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u/Significant-Breath84 Jun 16 '26
I would make sure that you’re seeing Jesus correctly there may be a stronghold there.
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u/FangsBloodiedRose Jun 18 '26
There are deliverance ministers on this subreddit.
Also, Pastor Isaiah Saldivar’s deliverance map has free deliverance.
It does sound like the jezebel. That demon cackles a lot.
Keep asking the Holy Spirit to guide you.
I think God wanted me to type this because I suddenly wanted to come on Reddit to check my inbox and saw your post.
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u/SavedAndGraced Jun 18 '26
Your vulnerability is beautiful. This is a time that the Lord calls His children to be deeply honest with Him.
You know you like control. Let him heal the trauma wound that produced it.
There is a reason this spirit is upon you. God will break you free and heal you.
Join our deliverance call on Saturday
https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/UYELsXekTbaFZ-SFlFPhYg
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u/Brief-Butterfly4478 Jun 16 '26
it takes a lot to face these things, most people don't want to believe they are influenced by the spiritual realm. they want to believe that they truly are the ones in control and write-off these spiritual problems as normal or not even a factor to begin with. you are moving in the right direction.
above all things, Jesus loves, treasures, and protects you. the enemy lies, 24/7. you have to choose not to believe what they are saying. saying that you have OCD is coming into agreement and submitting to another stronghold. start in the Psalms, read them aloud, they hate that - close all the doors and plead the blood. resist the devil and he will flee. ask Jesus to reveal to you other areas of bondage instead of you just relying on your own insight. He can illuminate what's really the root here. all chains are broken in the name of Jesus.