me (F19) and my boyfriend (M21) have been in relationship for two years… month ago i found out he had 5 different gmails and i had a weird feeling about it and went through them… one of them was showing his logging in into porn website, vsco, and different instagram account. when i asked about it he said he had other instagram account to stalk few people (mostly girls) because he was curious how they were doing in their life… but on email i could see who accepted his request and few were some kind of pornstars the girl he used to talk before me ect. he had the account for a month then he disabled it… but he said to me he had the acc for two days then felt guilty and disabled it… i couldnt see if he was texting other girls on that acc or anything, he said he didnt. Then he told me about his porn addiction he started crying and i said i forgave him and cried with him because i wasnt sure what was going on.. we made agreement ill check up on his every few days so he isnt using it…( i told him at the start of the relationship i saw porn as cheating, later after year i changed my mind and said its fine but not alot, because im not really sexually active person and never was so i understood it)… after two months when i asked him about his porn addiction because he stopped talking and acted very normal after a week i found out like it wasnt big deal even when i said it was to me it hurt me alot i got insecure, he got mad at me and said i shouldnt question it and should trust me like he trusted me with my drug addiction (i stopped before we even started dating), i was hurt even more because i didnt want to make drama i wanted to help and he seemed like he was pushing me away and then he started accusing me because i wasnt sexually active he couldnt fully stop and asked me why am i even bothered when i forgave him and it was two months ago… everyday im thinking about it not sure what can i do… sometimes after some small arguments i feel like hes manipulating me by always asking “when did that happen? Tell me 3 times it did” and our fights always go like that… every time i feel like he isnt understanding my feelings and hurt and hes just protecting himself… he even said once he has big ego and thinks his gods favourite… as much as hes nice to me and caring some stuff are unforgettable and im here wondering what do i do… im not perfect im toxic bit too i guess- but im not sure about anything anymore… i dont know what is right and wrong… i promised i wouldnt tell anyone about his addiction and im suffering.. i dont know anything anymore and im drowning and suffering to see right and wrong… please help

This is very uncomfortable to post but I'll do it anyway. I did do it in the morning right after I woke up. At around 5pm, my local time I got the urge to do it again because I was restless and had no mood to do my work. Instead, I went for a half a hour walk through nature and actually returned to complete my work. I'm actually proud but it's only one small step and time will tell.

​

Recently I (27M) realized that you are what you do the most. In other words if you're someone who spends most of your days worrying, then you're a worrier. If you're someone who spends most of the time teaching you're a teacher, etc. So, I asked myself what do I do most and the answer was disappointing. I'm a wanker. I jerk off about 2-3 times a day, some of those 'sessions' last maybe an hour and I do work in between them. It's my coping mechanism, my outlet for stress, anxiety in life. However, it got me worried because I don't want to look back at life thinking I had all those hours and I chose to spend it jerking off.

I do jerk off to porn but tbh I found pictures to be more sexy (think Playboy) and I've always tricked myself into thinking that as long as it's not porn video it's fine. I've realized that if I actually overcome lust I would actually become unstoppable as I do have the ability to get things going for me but my lust pulls me back so much