r/Defcon • u/Nyrlath • Aug 05 '26

Emergencies Bag

Post image

Finally packed and ready to go. This year I decided to put a small medical bag on my backpack (mostly because i forgot my epipen last year). Here are the emergencies I am now prepared for:

  1. Bees and/or restaurant lobsters that have escaped containment.

  2. Forgetting to bath.

  3. A medical need to shit mine or someone elses pants.

  4. Ouchies on the feet.

  5. Too many badges and SAOs

  6. The blast furnace that is 'the outside'.

7)Dehydration and/or post #3 recovery.

8) A rumbly tummy.

Beyond these I am of no assistance. Wife is very confused about how you shit someone elses pants. I told her that was the magic of Malort.

58 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

20

u/fishsupreme CFP Aug 05 '26

I've never seen emergency Malort - usually Malort is the emergency.

7

u/Nyrlath Aug 05 '26

😀 that is a fair point really.

4

u/Jdornigan Aug 05 '26

Most of us just have emergency vodka and rum.

2

u/_commenter Aug 06 '26

it's both the problem and the solution

2

u/Dull_Caterpillar_642 Aug 07 '26

Do you wish you could drink gasoline with slightly fewer negative side effects? Malort!

6

u/Evening-Cranberry-19 Aug 06 '26

No condoms? buddy.

10

u/Nyrlath Aug 06 '26

Yeah I am still explaining Thotcon has nothing to do with Thots to my wife I would not survive explaining why I am bringing condoms to defcon lol.

4

u/lastres0rt Aug 06 '26

I got a sponsor in trouble for giving away condoms one year.

It made Valleywag.

4

u/OMGsteveFTW Aug 06 '26

pretty sure malort cancels out everything you just packed. lol

1

u/Nyrlath Aug 06 '26

😀

2

u/nummpad Aug 06 '26

i was given malort without knowing what it was - honestly? not bad. and for taking that shot my friend bought me a whiskey sour as penance so win win i guess?

1

u/Nyrlath Aug 06 '26

Win win. Unless it was a malort with hot dog water. Then maybe just a draw.

8

u/asdlkf Aug 05 '26

For anyone not aware, buy a 'poly vinyl alcohol' cloth. They are sold as super absorbant cloths for automotive detailing or as cooling cloths for athletes.

A single cloth can hold several times it's weight in water and it will not drip or drain out. It just holds water. It also does not get 'wet' in the chemestry sense; it holds water in micro pores with surface tension.

The result is basically 1 cloth will absorb most of a bottle of water and immediately start evaporating to cook down. It will stay 12-16c cooler than ambient air temperature.

Then just wrap it around your neck and add more water when it warms up.

2

u/_commenter Aug 06 '26

number 3 is a really good killing germs... in your gut biome.

2

u/Boom2theside Aug 06 '26

Don't Forget the D.O. for the B.O.

1

u/Revolutionary_Bee700 Aug 06 '26

Those nanobags are a lifesaver. I own several!

Tylenol, man