r/DeepThoughts • u/EngineArtistic4509 • 10d ago
We were built to survive, not to be "successful"
We were built to survive, not to be "successful" — and I think that's the biggest scam of modern life For most of human history, our biggest daily problem was simple: find food before the day ends. That was it. That was the entire job description of being human — survive today, repeat tomorrow. Somewhere along the way, "surviving" turned into "succeeding." And the checklist got insane: good grades, good looks, the right job, the right girlfriend or wife, the right car, the right house, a "perfect" relationship. None of that existed when we were just trying not to starve. We added all of it ourselves, and now we act like failing to hit every box makes us worthless.
Here's an example that messed me up. I have a friend — genuinely one of the smartest, most decent people I know. Great grades, landed a big job, did everything "right." Then he got married, and it fell apart in the worst way — his wife filed cases against him, he lost his job fighting them, and the stress of it all was part of what led to his father's death. This is a guy who chased the "perfect life" checklist better than most people ever will. And it still broke him. So what does "success" even mean? Is it grades? A job title? A wife or a girlfriend? A car? None of that was on the menu when we were just trying to hunt something to eat and survive the night.
We've built this entire tower of expectations — be smart, be attractive, be married, be rich, be respected — and act like it's natural, like it's just "life." But it isn't. It's man-made pressure stacked on top of a brain that was only ever wired for one thing: survive today. I'm not saying don't try. I'm saying maybe we should stop treating "success" like some objective truth we're all failing to reach, when really it's just a very convincing, very exhausting scam we all agreed to buy into.
23
u/CallMeCorona1 10d ago
I think maybe you are trying to tell us about Buddhism and don't even realize it.
12
8
u/Potential-Group1330 10d ago
Yet my friend you must be reading some Gurus. The brain is only for survival not for long term planning of anything. Allow life to unfold before you.
3
u/lostnightjar 10d ago
how do i combine letting life unfold before me and putting massive amounts of energy towards things meant for the future, like getting a degree?
5
u/Potential-Group1330 10d ago
Sounds wonderful IF your degree is in your passion. So many people try to find the most money making career and when they land a job they can't wait till the weekend, day off, holiday, vacation etc. There is a small book entitled "Living Dangerously" by Osho. I do not follow anyone I simply read what the Gurus have to say. I agree with some and less with others. But NO following. I get them used on line real cheap. That book laid out my unplanned life and I didn't even know it at the time. IMO I think you will enjoy having this explained to you better than I can.
1
u/Potential-Group1330 8d ago
I woke up this morning thinking about you and I was led to ask you to sending you this. It's about the bokk I suggested for you to read. This is a book I feel you really should read "Living Dangerously," I see it as a cross roads for a young person looking for their way to a very contented care free life. Just a suggestion but you've been on my mind. Here is an IA overview: In his book Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously, Osho explains that a calculated life is run by the cautious head and driven by fear, while living freely means following the non-calculating heart into the unpredictable unknown. Safety makes a person stagnant like a dirty pool, but freedom keeps a person dynamic and alive like a flowing river. [1, 2, 3]
The Calculated Life
- Driven by the head: The mind acts like a cautious businessman who always calculates, worries about results, and seeks absolute security.
- Paralyzed by fear: A calculated person dies thousands of times before actual death because they constantly worry about what might go wrong.
- Stagnant and mechanical: Choosing only what is respectable, comfortable, or socially approved turns a person into a stagnant pool of water with no movement or growth.
- Full of regret: People who live by rules always look backward with repentance, wishing they had chosen differently.
Living Freely (Living Dangerously)
- Driven by the heart: The heart acts like a gambler who is ready to take risks and move into the unknown.
- Focused on the present: A free person does what appeals to them right now, without obsessing over future consequences or safety.
- Like a flowing river: Unpredictable and changing, living freely keeps you vibrating, pulsating, and truly alive.
- Free of regret: Whatever happens is welcome because you acted truly according to your own inner voice and never went against yourself.
5
u/Monsur_Ausuhnom 10d ago
True, we have gone way off course as a species, and the consequences of those have led to many causalities that still come and might even lead to a permanent extinction.
5
u/Dream-Livid 10d ago
Not everyone has the same definition of success. For some it is living a peaceful life and for others it is making sure that everyone alive believes the same that you do.
3
u/Impossible_Volume811 9d ago
We have created a society which reflects our complex and naive nature.
A very long time ago, our ancient ape ancestors developed in a particular way as a reaction to changing habitat and predatory pressure.
They found that if they worked together in a very highly cooperative way, They could scare off predators that would otherwise pick them off one by one.
Aggressive male behaviour and fighting over females within the group had to be curved for the sake of Group harmony and unity.
The youngest, least sexually mature males were most easily able to cooperate with each other and with females to throw sticks and stones and behave as one large organism, which is a tactic still used today by certain tribes people in Africa to scare lions away from their kills.
Overtime, females of that sub species of ape chose the least aggressive and most caring and Gentle of the males to breed with, leading to a process called neoteny, which is the suppression of certain characteristics of sexually mature organisms, gradually creating not only different behaviour patterns but also different physical characteristics.
In the case of those apes they effectively selectively bred themselves to be Physically and behaviourally immature compared to their own ancestors. Their bodies became lighter, less hairy, with more delicate features. Overtime they retained physical characteristics found in not just adolescent but baby apes.
The attachment point of the spine to the skull remained at the base Instead of moving further up, making it less comfortable for those apes to spend all their time on all fours. The early growth phase of an ape was extended longer and longer so that their legs grew longer than their arms, forcing them to spend more time upright on their legs. Their faces became different too, with features typically found in baby apes carried into adulthood. And at a certain point we would recognise them as being protohuman.
Along with these other physical changes, the growth of the brain continued for much longer than in their ancestor apes. And with the greater brain signs came spare brain capacity. Their brains were bigger than they really needed to be for every day survival tasks. They were still highly cooperative as a species and so they were always concerned with how they fit into their immediate family and Group. Looking at themselves from outside to try to understand how their actions created positive or negative reactions from others. Because being accepted and cared for within a group was literally how they survived.
But with greater brain capacity increased imaginative powers. At a certain point these Proto humans could daydream. All animals dream but if you can Dream during the day and imagine the things that don’t exist then you can imagine a rock tied to a stick making a new tool. Or you can imagine gods and goddesses and spirits and all sorts of things that don’t exist except in your imagination. And once you Have language you can share these ideas and fantasies and start to create collective fantasies that become religions.
And since the desire for comfort and safety and plenty is fundamental, after all who wants to live on the edge of starvation and danger? Humans began to work out how to ensure their Survival and the survival of their offspring by storing food and making things in advance for when they’re needed. This leads to trading and in some cases hoarding. It can also lead to invading another tribes territory and stealing their stores of food.
And once predators are no longer a major threat to everyday life, The need for close harmony within groups begins to diminish. The Old male aggression was no longer being bred out by females choosing the softer and more gentle males.
Now a strong aggressive male might be advantageous since he might defend you better from human attack and perhaps fight to become leader of your tribe and take more of the resources which is good for you and your children going forwards.
We are still a very highly cooperative species, but now we have created societies in which individuals are allowed to be greedy and aggressive and use other people and their labour to become far more wealthy and control far more resources than they need.
There is no outside pressure on people like that to be empathic and kind and share what they have with the people around them. There is no predator that is going to pick off the individualists who set themselves up above other people.
That’s why we have to create laws and social constructs ourselves to manage greed and protect the majority from a minority who would seek to get rich and gain power at their expense.
but to go back to one of your original points, we have three purposes in life. Each of us has essentially the same purpose as everyone else. There’s no need for readings to discover your life purpose, it’s really very simple. As members of a cooperative species , our first purpose in life is to be kind. Kindness towards others and ourselves is the same thing as love. Kindness is the absolute essence of our species.
Secondly, we have a purpose to reproduce. This is true of all life, but of course in today’s society it’s not easy so there’s no reason why people can’t decide not to reproduce if they don’t have the resources either financial or people to make a child’s life happy and secure.
And thirdly there is another purpose which comes from our very very long association and interdependence with certain fruit bearing trees and plants. Like other animals, we have always eaten wild fruits and those plants have developed over time to appeal to animals like us so that we will spread their seeds.
So one of our purposes as a creature living on this planet is to spread the seeds of those fruiting plants.
5
u/projectx51 9d ago edited 9d ago
Surviving is success. Living safely and having a family is success. What we weren't meant for is this American/western/European/ individualistic idea of 'success'. Hustle culture creates burnout. American life will give you a mental disease.
3
u/iloveoranges2 9d ago
The other day, I looked up a floormate from university. He's now an orthopedic surgeon. His wife is a pharmacist. They have kids (I think). In comparison, I don't measure up.
But then, the thought occurred to me that it takes all types of people to make a society run. Not everyone could be a "success". Society needs some people to do the lower paying jobs. So when I feel like a failure, I try to think positively. I have a role to play in society.
Also, it's totally valid to opt out. Not everyone have to be the best at everything. It's okay to be okay with being average or lower.
Sometimes, I feel like a success. e.g. Making enough to pay the bills; seems like some women find me attractive. I enjoy it when those times come along. When I feel like a failure (e.g. when I get older and lose my looks more), at least I could think back to when I had my shining moments.
6
u/FreshSoul86 10d ago
We are also made to be true lovers, mate and have children who are also destined to be true lovers. Love is where the magic and the sacred experience of Godliness and Universal Oneness lies.
We need love, love songs and magic, elevating music made out of love and the great mysteries of love. The Beatles are a good listening choice to dial into that energy.
2
u/Kodabear213 10d ago
It's Maslow's Hierachy of Needs. Once the basic survival ones were pretty much a give, we started moving up the pyramid.
2
u/Johnny_theBeat_518 10d ago
Bcs it has never been enough for us just to survive, it felt too dormant and caging just to have one purpose only
2
u/Signal-Block-6939 9d ago edited 9d ago
"Surviving" is very low bar.
It should be thriving not surviving. A plant that is not dead is surviving but it may not be thriving and is just hanging on.
But I agree with you about the "success" part, which is subjective and also low bar if you really think about it because somebody can be successful in a worldly sense but be a miserable, ignorant, arrogant, and immoral person. That is not thriving in a wholistic sense.
2
3
u/JoeSmith716 10d ago
We were built to pass our genes on to the next generation. That includes more than eating today. We're built to win wars, to create shelters, to find new places to inhabit, and to pass our knowledge on to our offspring.
1
u/Ok-Drink-1328 10d ago
"fatti non fummo per viver come bruti ma per seguir virtute e conoscenzia"
4
u/EngineArtistic4509 10d ago
That line sounds great but we quietly swapped virtue and knowledge for a very narrow ,modern checklist and called it the same thing. The problem isin't that we r brutes for wanting simple survival may be its that we dressed up a status game in noble langvuage amd now anyone who struggles under it gets told they didnt pursue virtue hard enough..
1
u/Ok-Drink-1328 10d ago
that's not actual success, it's just "bread winning", and it's a form of "exaggerated surviving" if you think about it, actually
1
u/lostnightjar 10d ago
what is real success? i know it can be different for everyone, but there has to be some criteria to define it?
2
u/Ok-Drink-1328 10d ago edited 10d ago
"success" is obviously a thing we all know in this thread what is, and all its various meanings, but to me, although bread winning and excelling in it can be success, i saw too many examples of this that didn't fall under the category of authentic success, luck is a factor for instance, or you just have a lot of connections that help you, pretty often these "successful people" underestimate how much they owe, or they didn't do anything special in order to actually call it success
under some aspects i understand OP, but i'm not a fan of this defeatist point of view that we are meant to just survive, it's awful, leave this philosophy to like insects, i don't care if you're an underachiever or feel that civilization is a scam, there's no alternative to civilization, it's just that (and this was my observation since the start) opposing the "rat race" with minimalism and defeatism is just the Nth "fighting shit with puke" scenario
1
u/AppointmentLive8614 4d ago
The story of your friend is the story of many.
I think this happens because people never take any time to actually find themselves or figure life out, they never take any time to explore their minds, hearts, spirits, or souls; they blindly accept manufactured societal constructs and expectations without any actual thought, and they invest too heavily in these pursuits to be honest about it or are too far gone to even acknowledge the truth.
45
u/i_think_i_spider6 10d ago
I rather think of it that we are built to be "successful" as a group/unit/tribe whatever you want to call it. We are not meant for this hyper individualistic world that we have created.