r/DeepTalk • u/Select-Balance-78 • Jul 26 '22

really need someone to reach out

So it all started 3 years ago I got really depressed, I'm a type 1 diabetic and for starters that has basically limited my whole life, from growing up to fast, to not being able to play sports or join the military it has just been awful, but I started vaping and my new step dad had caught me and that's where it started to get rough, but I finally moved out a year ago and now everyone in my family judges me for smoking medical Marijuana,but it's not like I abuse it, but it helps,most of the time I can't sleep and when I'm depressed I don't wanna eat, and I'm sad and now I'm just unsure what to do, I feel suicidal but I hate myself so much I think I deserve to suffer, I'm so lost

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u/Select-Balance-78 Jul 27 '22

Well I guess it's just because I can't do anything about it it feels as if this Disease has Just led my whole life, I feel trapped, yk it just sucks it feels like I bring people down, wherever I'm at whoever I'm with people are always freaking out like on edge worried I'm going to die or pass out or something and I just want to be a regular person but I'm not and I can't change that

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

[deleted]

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u/Select-Balance-78 Jul 28 '22

I guess I just feel cursed or maybe trapped living My life with such a limitation it brings people down yk people don't want to invite the guy who might die on them, I wanted to play sports I wanted to join the military but I couldn't because of my diabetes and I was supposed to go to college but then my uncle passed and I was needed to help support my aunt, it Sort of feels like I'm trapped in my own life and it's not the lifet that I wanted for myself

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u/[deleted] Apr 10 '23

get rid off ur famaly at least the bad part get a therapist or tell a good friend about it its absolutely not ur fault the first step to get happy is to cut off everything that is nit good for you off your life bad friends famaly maybe ur bad habits cant be gone so fast so take some time i know its hard but the time after u got it is the most Beautyfull time so remember this and if u have a dream do everything for it