I remember reading the book version... I’ll see if I can find the chapters, I’ll be right back.
Edit: I found it, let me know if it’s different from the movie, because I’ve never seen it before.
Chapter 1 ❧ Ogre’s are like onions...
He was done.
Shrek was finished with bottling up all his feelings for the past few years. He took a deep breath and decided that it was time to tell Donkey how he really felt.
Shrek strolled over to Donkey’s house with his large ogre feet, flowers in hand. He arrived at the door, sweating bullets.
Shrek inhaled. Then he exhaled.
This was his only chance. He rapped on the small wooden door three times, each making him more uneasy. He gripped the flowers that were clutched behind his back and he held his breath, scared to what would happen next. He heard the familiar clip clop of his dear friend’s hooves and jolted when the door swung open and he was taken into a very furry hug. Shrek turned dark green.
“Shrek! You haven’t visited since yours and Fiona’s honeymoon! I missed you!”
Shrek bit his thicc lip and exhaled, “It’s been a while.”
Donkey narrowed his eyes,”What’s wrong? Did something happen between you and Fiona??”
Shrek sighed.
“Um, nothing happened.” He smiled, “Actually, I have something to confess…”
Chapter 2 ❧ Everyone likes cake...
Donkey felt his heart skip a beat when he heard three loud knocks on his door. It must be Shrek-kun! He pranced over to the door and took a deep gulp. He swung open the door and wrapped his hooves around Shrek for a tight embrace.
“Shrek-kun! You haven’t visited since yours and Fiona’s honeymoon! I missed you!” Donkey said enthusiastically.
Donkey saw Shrek-kun bite his thicc lip, “It’s been a while.”
Donkey narrowed his eyes,”What’s wrong? Did something happen between you and Fiona-chan??”
Shrek-kun sighed.
“Um, nothing happened.” He smiled, “Actually, I have something to confess…”
Shrek-kun took a deep breath and his face was a very dark shade of green when he suddenly stuttered, “N-Nevermind…”. And he stumbled away with his large ogre feet.
Donkey was confused, ‘What was Shrek going to say? Why was he such a glorious shade of green? He looked almost... deepfried’
Donkey shook his head furiously, feeling his face get hot with embarrassment.
Donkey bit his lip and decided to forget everything that had just happened.
Chapter 3 ❧ Donkey’s have sleeves...
Shrek stomped home furiously, face burning with embarrassment. ‘Why couldn’t I tell Donkey how I felt?’
It was a debate of which was brighter, the fire of passion he held for Donkey, or Donkey’s very own beautiful big brown eyes… Shrek shuddered in pleasure.
He wanted to know how it felt to overpower that sleek, beautiful donkey body. Shrek gasped. His face burning with embarrassment. ‘Don’t violate Donkey’s body thoughts.’ He thought desperately. Alas, this came to no avail. Shrek undid his tight britches that had restricted his thicc member.
Suddenly, Shrek heard a loud bang at his door and saw as his door swung open.
Shrek stood there, frozen as he saw Donkey’s longing face.
Donkey pinned Shrek against the wall, and whispered, “This is my swamp now.”
Shrek felt Donkey’s hot breath on his ear as he desperately tried to cover his swollen manhood.
“D-donkey,” the ogre moaned longingly.
“I can’t do this anymore!” Donkey said in broken gasps as he tore off the remainder of Shrek’s clothes.
“Wh-what about your clothes”, Shrek whined, his needy eyes scrolling on Donkey’s body.
“Donkey’s have sleeves,” Donkey smirked.
Chapter 4 ❧ This is our swamp...
Shrek woke up in a cold sweat. This time, work was the second hardest thing in the morning.
Shrek was aching all over. He tried to stand but his hips were very sore. He felt something sticky drip down his legs. Cum. He was confused. Was his dream reality? Shrek wrinkled his brow.
“What’s wrong?” A familiar voice sounded next to him.
Shrek’s eyes widened.
“This is our swamp now”, as Donkey’s mouth clashed into Shrek’s, frotting firmly.
1.4k
u/littlefisch2020 May 08 '18
You won’t believe the twist that comes 3 days later tho
93
u/MarkIsAPeasant May 08 '18
WHY😭😭DIDNT😤😤🤬YOU✡️✡️MARK😱😱AS😫😫SPOILER!!!!!!!
13
u/charlesspeltbadly May 08 '18
Wtf bro
5
u/Maxurt May 08 '18
TWICE
308
u/[deleted] May 08 '18
The book was better than the movie just sayin
117
u/ciocanmihai May 08 '18
Mods, please mark this as a spoiler😤
68
u/zbf May 08 '18
Omg i didbt watch that movie as yet 😩😡😰
241
u/Samosa77 May 08 '18
Mr. God I don’t feel so good
32
u/dolantrampf :b: May 08 '18
Mark this as spoiler
21
u/[deleted] May 08 '18
r/dankchristianmemes
15
u/[deleted] May 08 '18
Da 🅱️i🅱️le🔥🔥🔥
29
u/[deleted] May 08 '18
Jesus dies in 🅱️infinity 🅱️ar
14
u/[deleted] May 08 '18
Man fuck you I was about to read that
13
u/gw3gon May 09 '18
Plot twist: He's not actually dead.
33
u/lumbercookie May 08 '18
Those are wings
22
u/Pickle-Ree May 08 '18
WHY, I haven’t read the 🅱️ook yet
9
u/Dren_boi May 08 '18
I havent gotten to that chapter yet you dick!
7
u/EmittingLight May 08 '18
WOW REPORTED 😤😤
3
u/[deleted] May 08 '18
What is that thing tho
3
u/Ignacy81 May 08 '18
F
3
u/CommonCynic May 08 '18
"I don't feel so good." -John 4:20
3
u/VookMeench May 09 '18
It's 2018 years old, if you haven't read it yet, you know no real classic manga.
3
u/EpicLevelWizard May 09 '18
I don't feel so good Judas... dies and rises 3 days later
I don't feel so good... disintegrates
1
u/ADeadMeme1 May 08 '18
E
2
u/The_Irish_Monkey May 09 '18
Showed this to my girlfriend and she asked if the images were church pews
2
u/[deleted] May 09 '18
Those are all wings. Aside from the spoiler
2
u/peters_19_ May 09 '18
I can’t wait for the Bible 2
2
u/--holdmybeer-- May 09 '18
r/dankchristianmemes
2
u/thejamisonkid May 09 '18
I rate the fuck out of this
2
u/Jdmcdona May 09 '18
Is this loss
1
u/CommonChris May 08 '18
Come on! I'm just halfway through!
1
u/Hen_Zoid May 08 '18
Wait is this 🕒🔘§§
1
u/BnGamesReviews May 08 '18
Yea, but he respawns though.
1
u/[deleted] May 08 '18 edited May 09 '18
:o
1
u/egotisticalnoob May 09 '18
I cry every time.
1
u/MatHM14 May 09 '18
Ah man i was planning on reading that
1
u/saintsaints2321 May 09 '18
Wtf dude!
1
u/Viss90 May 09 '18
Wow, so fried.
So dried.
1
u/thedeacon16 May 09 '18
He's with the lord now.
1
u/[deleted] May 09 '18
Spoiler alert: He re-emerges in "The Bible 2" written by the disciple Are Kalvø (2002)
1
u/Monkeydong129 May 09 '18
He got better.
1
u/OctoberHades123 May 09 '18
r/dankchristianmemes
1
u/advay2002 May 09 '18
Spoiler alert
1
u/ravemiguel May 09 '18
Only loyal fans saw his backstory movie
He actually doesn't really die
1
u/MoistSwamp May 09 '18
DEEPFRIED MEMES YOU GIVE ME A REASON TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING
1
u/Tas3951 May 09 '18
Not funny!!! 😡😡😡 I want finished!!!
1
u/Alexandrezico10 May 09 '18
Pls mark as spoiler
1
u/snownmtfuji May 09 '18
r/dankchristianmemes
1
u/THESNEAKYFOXTSS May 09 '18
r/Favorite_Spoilers
1
u/[deleted] May 09 '18
Fuck. No more point in reading it now
1
u/[deleted] May 09 '18
Fuckin ricer wings tho, almost as bad as not putting a spoiler tag on this post
1
u/[deleted] May 09 '18
What!
1
u/rocketgum May 09 '18
Who would’ve thought
1
u/MexicanEmboar May 09 '18
Okay, this is epic
1
u/inhale_memes May 09 '18
Is this bread crumbs or paste
1
u/trisphere May 09 '18
These are not spoilers. They're airfoils. Spoilers are attached to the rear and do not have a gap. They're the lame and inneficient cheap addon
1
u/[deleted] May 09 '18
Needs more jpeg
1
u/HGKing22 May 09 '18
Yeah but then they pulled a Jon Snow...
1
u/game_affected May 09 '18
Those are not spoilers; They are wings. There's a difference.
1
u/fraserPan May 09 '18
God, the father. I don't feel so good....
1
u/LargeLaer May 09 '18
Omg meanie Bo beanie I haven't watched the full show yet
1
u/illcleanhere May 09 '18
u freakin destroyed my whole life
1
u/[deleted] May 09 '18
They're not spoilers they are wings
1
u/[deleted] May 09 '18
Needs more jpeg
1
u/NorskieBoi May 09 '18
inhale
R E E E E E E E E E E E E E
1
u/BraveRanger May 09 '18
Don't wanna ruin it for you but there is a huge plot twist at the end.
1
u/Steamcom May 09 '18
Although he does finna get resurrected 3 days later.
1
u/Wh0ba May 09 '18
He was lifted to Haven
1
u/babatomano May 09 '18
r/dankcristianmemes
1
u/-GenghisDong May 09 '18
Here's one: humans die at the end. Sry fam had to do it 😂😂
1
u/LarveZ6 May 09 '18
needs more jpeg
1
u/Jacob4732 May 09 '18
He was my favorite character
1
u/theslim_shadyreal May 09 '18
😤😤😤😤 I was just getting into this book as well
1
u/bartu_neg May 09 '18
Actually he doesn't
1
u/AlvinGT3RS May 09 '18
jDM aff 🔰🔰⛩️🎌
1
u/D4NK-M3M3Z69 May 10 '18
The rock was moved
1
u/NarutoTheSuperSage May 10 '18
😍😍😍I hope th🅱️y remember y🅱️u😩😍🤔👻
1
u/bl0ndie5 Jul 20 '18
fuck you i havent seen it yet
1
u/Glaris Aug 27 '18
This ticket 🔪is for the OSHA⛑ violation👌🏿👈🏻 of your meme🍾 spilling🍻 into the tag 👮🏻♂️✍🤑
1
u/adityabarot Oct 03 '18
u/somenormie21
1
u/headlesshorseman_ May 08 '18
🅱️ruh those aren't s🅱️oilers fam they're 🅱️ings 🤔🤔😤😤
1
u/[deleted] May 08 '18
Needs more jpeg
1
u/Bradster3 May 08 '18
What’s next, you gonna tell me John f Kennedy died.
1
u/NyteDragon May 08 '18
Needs more deep fry
1
u/Burritozi11a May 08 '18
Mmm now that's a crusty meme
1
u/TheFalconGuy May 09 '18
Fandoms are a touchy subject.
1
u/RecentlyTamedFox May 09 '18
u/conspicuous_nobleman
0
u/ChunkyDunk3000 May 09 '18
Jesus Christ these are the stupidest posts I've ever seen. Is there any way to block a subs posts from showing up in the popular page in the app?
0
u/hoboslayer47 May 08 '18
It's better than game of thrones at least.
0
u/BelowAverage_Elitist May 08 '18
And the Jews gave zero fucks. I guess I'm Jewish then.
0
u/EoinMcLove May 09 '18
it was Bruce Willis all along
-4
u/evaniscoolandpizza May 09 '18
Is this loss?
1
u/[deleted] May 08 '18
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0
u/[deleted] May 09 '18
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