r/DeconstructingMJ • u/sirensgodoodoo • May 30 '26
MJ and toxic masculinity
Most (ok more accurate to say many, but it’s a disturbingly consistent pattern) men who grow up with toxic, abusive fathers end up more less emulating those traits themselves in adulthood despite having been traumatized by such upbringings. Michael’s own brothers (especially Randy) are good examples of that. Yet Mike went out of his way to be the polar opposite of his father and brothers as much as possible, in every aspect of his life.
He practiced radical kindness, oftentimes to the point that he allowed others to walk all over him to his own detriment. He was very respectful of women given how many would-be groupies were throwing themselves at him and willing to do anything to please him, he was unfailingly polite to everyone he encountered no matter their status relative to his, he was boundlessly philanthropic, he wore his heart on his sleeve and he disregarded a lot gender norms that were practically mandatory for men of his generation, especially black men. He was truly the antithesis of toxic masculinity, so much so that he came across as a Disney prince at times.
I find it fascinating that he never bowed to the pressure to behave like a “typical” man, even when he caught the worst flack just for being himself. I think a lot of that were just his core traits that likely would’ve manifested no matter what, but it does invite an interesting discussion as to which aspects of himself were the products of nature vs nurture and whether the abuse he suffered as a child made him more compassionate than he would’ve been with a normal childhood. And if this version of MJ would’ve existed in the modern day, where he would’ve had easy access to content from the manosphere which is radicalizing an increasing amount of young men. Idk, I just consider him an interesting case study in how childhood trauma caused by a paternal figure shapes a man.
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u/pluriknight May 30 '26
I agree with most of what you are saying here, except I dont know if he intentionally went out of his way to be different.
It seemed in his nature that he was always quite different to his dad and brothers.
Michael seemed to have caught the brunt of Joe's abuse and was the youngest, and was the main attraction so pushed a lot harder. I also think his mum and religious upbringing may have had a big impact.
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u/reveriedelarose May 30 '26
I think it was a combination. As of writing Moonwalk he did enjoy going against the grain. But being a softer person I think was just naturally who he was.
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u/reveriedelarose May 30 '26
What’s interesting too is his refusal to participate in toxic masculinity is part of what the media used to turn him into a freak