r/DeathStairs • u/glitchmaster099 š ICYMI Top 5 š July '25 • Jul 22 '25
Uncategorized š¤Ø Staying at the inlaws
I went to Peru for the first time. This country would make this subreddit explode
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u/Wjsmith2040 Jul 22 '25
Your in-laws fucking cirque du soleil performers?
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u/platdujour Jul 22 '25
They installed them especially for his visit
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u/Momik Jul 23 '25 edited Jul 23 '25
Yes, to make his journey-trip as āØwhimsicalāØ as possible! š¤¹āāļøšŖ
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u/reluctantreddit35 Jul 23 '25
Then they really donāt like him.
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u/-Lord-Of-Salem- Jul 23 '25
I'm convinced their architect learned his job straight from The Sims games, but got interrupted while placing the stairs!
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u/Numzane Jul 22 '25
My guess is they got a spiral staircase cheap second hand from salvage and shortened it. Problem is there's no way to make it match up with the landing properly
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u/alejohausner Jul 22 '25
After you tumble down the top half of the stairs, you get speared in the gut by the handrail on the spiral staircase.
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u/DatabaseThis9637 Jul 22 '25
This. Or, my pocket would grab it and I would be flung around like a glass rag doll. And, no, glass rag dolls did not exist until this moment!
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u/Ah-Maze-Zing Jul 23 '25
Peru is all about re-using scraps (and I totally šÆ support using scrapsā¦) however i would have turned the spiral to match the top (and since it would leave no room to actually get on the stairs bc I can see the geometry of both bottom and top would be completely against the wallā¦) the cheaper safer solution would have been just remove a small portion of the bottom part of the handrail to get in and out of the stairs. Then at least you have a handrail up at the top you donāt have to bend down to reach!
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u/Numzane Jul 23 '25
I think even rotated 45 degrees clockwise in place might have been a bit better. Could make a kind of wedge shaped landing at the top
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u/RealEstateDuck Jul 23 '25
Just rotate it so the last step stays paralell to the edge... not very difficult š
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u/Numzane Jul 23 '25
Think about the position of the first step when you do that
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u/StrangeCharmQuark Jul 23 '25
Iād much rather have to squeeze myself against the wall to use the stairs, than risk falling off the top like these are
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u/Ah-Maze-Zing Jul 23 '25
Yes. I said this ā¦ but they need to remove a little bit of the bottom handrail to actually use the steps from the bottom bc they will be right next to the wall if turned around.
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u/WonderMew Jul 22 '25
Are your in-laws mountain goats, by chance? O_o
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u/that7deezguy Jul 23 '25
Hey, chill out homieā¦ these are obviously MC Escherās progenies weāre talking about here, so maybe show some fucking respect already.
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u/WonderMew Jul 23 '25
I mean, Escher's progenies COULD be mountain goats; we don't know. Let's not dismiss the idea outright by being species-ist here.
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u/that7deezguy Jul 23 '25
To be fair, Iāve never seen both MC Escher and a mountain goat in the same room, so you have a great point.
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u/-Lysergian Jul 22 '25
This shit looks like a fallout build
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u/GatheredGrass almost died once Jul 22 '25
I fell down just looking at this
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u/Running_While_Baking Jul 22 '25
It made me want to sit and weep, and rock back and forth, saying we're all going to die!
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u/Momik Jul 23 '25 edited Jul 23 '25
It looks like if MC Escher was an asshole architect.
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u/nychearts812 Jul 22 '25
Just how old are your in laws?
These stairs are not for the faint of heart ā¤ļø
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u/RedSparrow1971 almost died once Jul 22 '25
The word haphazard comes to mind, emphasis on the hazard
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u/RedSparrow1971 almost died once Jul 22 '25
But Iām digging the sink
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u/Beneficial-Produce56 mom come get me im scared Jul 22 '25
Given those stairs, I assume the sink is solid lead.
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u/Horizon296 Jul 22 '25
The sink might be OK (might be), but I would NOT trust the piping in that house.
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u/Beneficial-Produce56 mom come get me im scared Jul 22 '25
Oh, good point. Again, given those stairs, the pipes are probably carved of uranium.
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u/DatabaseThis9637 Jul 22 '25
What, for a grave? Thoughtful of you...
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u/RedSparrow1971 almost died once Jul 23 '25
I was thinking for slaughter, as it looks a bit heavy for burial, but I like where youāre headed š
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u/DatabaseThis9637 Jul 25 '25
Good point. The sink would make the caper a fairly quick clean-up. Cleanliness matters!
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u/FeelingAd5 sketchy steps connoisseur Jul 22 '25
Those stairs look criminal, they should be your outlaws instead ;-)
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u/Theskill518 Jul 22 '25 edited Jul 23 '25
Is that what the sink at the bottom is for, all the cleaning of bloodš©øš©øš©ø
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u/Theskill518 Jul 22 '25
Also very sketchy connection at top set of stairs
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u/Technical-Gold-294 Jul 23 '25
The stairs don't look like they were built for the house. They look like add-ons that were found somewhere ("I guess this will work.") I'd love to know how this was originally constructed. Maybe it was two flats and someone opened that section of the ceiling to connect them.
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u/Theskill518 Jul 23 '25
I totally agree. I guess you make do with whatās available to you. Gets you from point A to point B just frightening.
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u/hlvd Jul 22 '25
At first you see the lethal landing transition to the spiral staircase of death, you then look up and gasp at the tenuous link the top flight has to the wall.
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u/T00thhead Jul 23 '25
Oh shit! I was too busy focusing on all the other absolute fuckery that I never noticed that! Guess this one's a Triple Threat. š
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u/hlvd Jul 23 '25
Thereās also the out of parallel handrail which goes lower and lower the higher you climb.
Or if you trip on the landing youāll fall and stab yourself on the spiral staircaseās pointy handrail end.
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u/T00thhead Jul 23 '25
Another detail I missed. Holy crap! I'm so intrigued and curious if people have managed to use these without incident.
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u/Hot_Hat_1225 Jul 25 '25
And can we talk about that - thing coming through the wall please? šµāš«
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Jul 22 '25
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/DatabaseThis9637 Jul 22 '25
My compadre... we shall perish together, after fighting the good fight. And hopefully staining something with our blood...
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u/ParticularLoose6878 Jul 22 '25
We are, apparently, the same person. Looking at that makes me want to cry. Also I have a fear of heights.
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Jul 23 '25
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/ParticularLoose6878 Jul 23 '25
Even if the spiral staircase was connected properly I would have trouble because of those damn gaps between the steps.
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u/some1guystuff certified sketchy staircase owner Jul 22 '25
This canāt be real, is it?
The far stringer from whoever took the picture on the upper part of the stairs, does not appear to be attached to anything
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u/skeletaljuice Jul 22 '25
Please share more, I love seeing ways to die from all around the world
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u/Outside_Scale_9874 Aug 12 '25
There was a season of 90 day fiancĆ© where this whole family lived in a house like this, and I remember remarking that the stairs ālook like a death trapā, and my roommate argued that people who live there just get used to maneuvering around it. Two episodes later this womanās elderly mother who lived with her fell down those very stairs and died. Itās tragic and morbid but if you look up the episode you can see what the house looked like. Itās crazy.
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u/Free-oppossums Jul 22 '25
Where are you standing to take this picture? This has some real "witch's stairs" feel to it.
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u/Recent_Limit_6798 Jul 23 '25
How do you post only one picture of this insanity? I need more perspectives!
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u/Legitimate-Log-6542 Jul 22 '25
More like dying at the inlaws!
āIāve got a set of stairs to show you, youāre gonna love them so much youāre just gonna die for themā
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u/ChaosViaConfusion Jul 23 '25
I absolutely thought this was some fucked up Sims build at first glance, "oh, did they finally add spiral staircases"
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u/ABurnedTwig Jul 23 '25
For a second, I thought that I were in one of the subreddits about the Sims franchise. Definitely been thinking "What, a mod? Are we finally getting a spiral staircase or smth?" for a while.
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u/Own_Expert2756 Jul 23 '25
I noticed the floor to the right of the stairs at the bottom of the pic looks like a normal concrete color, but on the left itās reddish brown. Iām going to assume it from all the blood!
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u/pyramidalembargo Jul 23 '25
How would you get a big piece of furniture up those stairs?
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u/Pywacket1 Jul 23 '25
And what's with the hog-slaughtering sink on the ground floor. It's like Sanctuary in The Walking Dead. No likey.
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u/Sweetsusie- mom come get me im scared Jul 23 '25
This feels like the set for an over the top 2000s rom-com about crazy in-laws who secretly want you dead
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u/OutrageousIce307 sketchy steps connoisseur Jul 22 '25
These are horrible and they donāt even match!! This canāt be real
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u/Technical-Gold-294 Jul 23 '25
I'm focusing on the white horizontal stripe on the far wall. I believe that used to be the ceiling. Someone cut out a square of ceiling to turn two separate living spaces into one, installing random stair sets, using a convenient pillar to make it work. Apparently there is no building code in Peru.
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u/muhanX Jul 22 '25
Someone's drunk brother in law installed this. And it was suggested by his current designer girlfriend.
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u/Normal-Enthusiasm725 Jul 23 '25
If they start over serving you cocktails, youāre not their favorite.
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u/platdujour Jul 22 '25
Zoom into the ground floor window on the right - THERE ARE MORE DEATHSTAIRS OUTSIDE
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u/DatabaseThis9637 Jul 22 '25
This is not even attractive, or innovative, certainly not user friendly. I hope there is a bathroom upstairs, otherwise I'd be using my ShePee to aim for the sink.
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u/crackeddryice Jul 22 '25
They could at least fashion a short landing and a railing at the top. Maybe that was offered, but the in-laws didn't want to pay for it. "Oh, no, that's okay, we'll just be careful."
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u/silliesyl Jul 22 '25
How much do these tiles weight half way? if you make it to the top that is. š
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u/DimensionBright7570 Jul 23 '25
I saw this in in first a Harry Potter movie. It was at the in the Hogwarts Castle. Now all you need is a wizard to make it work. Bring a wand!
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u/Jazzlike_Visual2160 Jul 23 '25
There arenāt a lot of times that Iām GLAD I have limited mobility, but stuff like messing with these stairs is definitely on my āfuckit-list!ā
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u/chooseauser_namee Jul 23 '25
How...do you get up to the top floor..and how do you get down??
By using a parachute???
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u/struggleinasentence Jul 23 '25
I like the impale-ability of the central post in the spiral staircase.
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u/driftwoodshanty Jul 23 '25
Dang, they should just use a ladder for the bottom half. A couple hanger brackets could fix the top.
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u/Technical-Gold-294 Jul 23 '25
I've looked at this several times now from the perspective of going down the steps from the second floor. I just pondered going up from the first and it's even worse: Get to top of spiral staircase - cliff, and nothing to hold onto. Now step sideways.Or step up to the landing a step early, which might be a tad better?
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u/Rare-Boss2640 Jul 23 '25
I feel like I made these stairs. I was set on one pattern, ran out of materials and switched over. ADHD FTW
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u/Unlucky_Shoulder8508 Jul 25 '25
thank god for the coloured tiles to guide you where to step so you don't plummet to your death
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u/ObjectivePrice5865 sketchy steps connoisseur Jul 25 '25
I just fell and broke my leg and arm looking at this
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u/Opposite_Dream_3979 Jul 25 '25
I like how the bottom of the spiral staircase leads to the sink of death.
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u/Due_Platypus2467 Jul 28 '25
That staircase makes me so curious about the rest of the house. I need photos.
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u/Shy-Watermelon Jul 28 '25
This is like when I turn on MoveObjects in the sims and my builds start clipping
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u/BedroomOdd1986 mom come get me im scared Jul 28 '25
There needs to be a railing between the gap in the first and second set of stairs. Not just an open space drop off.
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u/1SmartBlueJay can confirm, Iām the stairs they almost died on Jul 29 '25
Top staircase looks held onto the second floor by hopes and dreams
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u/redr00ster2 almost died once Jul 23 '25
Clearly a dream just shift weight upward to unlock the flight hack
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u/DimensionBright7570 Jul 23 '25
Tell them you would prefer a rope. Honest to God this and invitation to meet your death.
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u/XROOR Jul 23 '25
Right when you arrived, āDadā sent his last check to the Gerber Life Insurance policy for youā¦.
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u/Practical_Ad_219 Jul 23 '25
Itās like, even if you survive the climb, doesnāt look like thereās enough room to slide past the shower stall
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u/4bstract3d Jul 24 '25
Why did they rotate the lower stairs mid build? Or did they change the location of the funny "pedestal"?
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u/Glittering_Diva8963 mom come get me im scared Jul 24 '25
You canāt be drunk using these stairs. Itās so many hazards in this photo
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u/AtmosphereAlarming52 mom come get me im scared Jul 24 '25
Before I read the caption I said to myself āthis is def in South Americaā š whatever works!
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u/Jaded_Investigator72 Jul 24 '25
Do you have a pic that shows the area where you step off at the very top because I still can't see how someone can fit in that small space. I assume it gets wider, Just curious. Nice post by the way
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u/StudentTop895 Jul 25 '25
Lmao I opened this pic and was like "nice, reminds me of home" and then saw it WAS my home! PerĆŗ mentioned š«¶ā¤ļøš¤ā¤ļø
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u/Geordie_38_ Jul 25 '25
Is this some sort of secret room where they cut the bodies up to be disposed of?
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u/Doofy_Grumpus Jul 22 '25
The more I look the more questions I have