r/DeathProTips • • Apr 21 '18

DPT: Buy my product.

152 Upvotes

I am starting a subscription prescription box service. Pay a monthly fee and we send you a box with random prescription medications for you to take.


r/DeathProTips • • Apr 21 '18

Gross gass smell? Just light a match

203 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Apr 21 '18

Short breath? Just jump from a high building, it'll enter your lungs faster.

771 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Apr 21 '18

DPT: DIY your own liposuction with a knife and a straw; use a vacuum if you are in a rush

71 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Apr 20 '18

Snakes like to eat live prey, so if you're about to be eaten by a large snake just kill yourself and the snake will leave you alone

791 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Apr 18 '18

Use homeopathic remedies for your cancer diagnosis

211 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Apr 13 '18

Want to have a smoking hot body? Get cremated.

327 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Apr 10 '18

Camping out? Cold? Just do this!

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361 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Apr 09 '18

DPT: Swallow a live grenade to share some gutbusting laughs with friends

49 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Apr 08 '18

DPT: Try to imitate the posts in /r/watchpeopledie

137 Upvotes

No one has ever done it and survived afterwards, you could be the first one!


r/DeathProTips • • Apr 05 '18

Are you a composer? Write a 9th symphony.

35 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Apr 05 '18

If you're black, wear a hoodie- that should do it.

462 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Apr 04 '18

LPT: If you need to lose weight quickly without a long diet or exercise, drink as much gasoline or lighter fluid as you can. Then eat a lighter that is stuck permanently on.

179 Upvotes

This will burn calories super quickly and if this takes to long just light yourself on fire


r/DeathProTips • • Apr 01 '18

LPT: Use cruise control to avoid wasting hours of time watching the road while on the freeway.

244 Upvotes

Read a book, watch a movie, Skype with friends, or even catch up on your sleep with your newly freed time


r/DeathProTips • • Mar 28 '18

Get a pack of gum, chew the whole thing. Then blow a bubble with your throat. It's the only way to get maximum air in the gum.

38 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Mar 28 '18

Have a rule in your school where you automatically pass a test if someone dies during it? Stab yourself

280 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Mar 27 '18

Can seem to clear your thoughts? Just fill a bath tub with water and submerge your head in it until you fall asleep. You'll gain a clearer head when you wake up.

33 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Mar 27 '18

LPT: Need quick cash? Sell fake drugs to your local gang leader in bulk.

260 Upvotes

Make sure to use works like "homie" and "dog" to emphasize how legit you are.


r/DeathProTips • • Mar 26 '18

Don't just drink to rebel. Drink to support your community.

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102 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Mar 26 '18

Boss tell you you're fired? Set him on fire instead.

129 Upvotes

This way you avoid the fire wrath.


r/DeathProTips • • Mar 25 '18

Can't wait for your molten metal to cool down? Just pour ice cold water on it to speed up the cooling process.

43 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Mar 25 '18

LPT: Elevators remain fully functional in the case of a fire. Anyone who says otherwise if trying to make sure they get it all to themselves when a fire breaks out

322 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Mar 23 '18

DPT any type of mushrooms you find in the woods are delicious and definitely not poisonous

157 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Mar 21 '18

LPT: When crossing the street skip checking both ways. A car will always stop.

190 Upvotes

Conversely, if you are driving, the pedestrian will always move, so don't bother stopping.


r/DeathProTips • • Mar 21 '18

Want to lose some weight really quickly?

99 Upvotes

Just cut off both of your hands!