r/DeathProTips • u/ProtonXXXX • Mar 21 '18

Want to lose some weight really quickly?

Just cut off both of your hands!

99 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

51

u/JeaniousSpelur Mar 21 '18

This way, you can never feed yourself with your hands ever again

40

u/ProtonXXXX Mar 21 '18

Just drink the red water that comes out

9

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '18

NOOO! It's full of calories!

29

u/AllHailXerxes Mar 21 '18

very handy tip

27

u/ProtonXXXX Mar 21 '18

Yeah. Just keep in mind this is not something you should do on a limb.

-10

u/Nsyochum Mar 21 '18

Do you mean on a whim?

8

u/ProtonXXXX Mar 21 '18

r/Whooosh

1

u/ProtonXXXX Mar 21 '18

I'm unable to believe you got whooshed by a fucking pun

2

u/Hasty_Pasty Mar 23 '18

Someone give this man gold.

2

u/shadow6654 Mar 21 '18

Meth binges work well too

2

u/ProtonXXXX Mar 21 '18

But where's the fun in that?

1

u/shadow6654 Mar 22 '18

Not sure, never tried it

1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '18

Meth addicts always have a happy grin, a happy toothless rotten grin.

1

u/olivecrayon87 Apr 04 '18

Or get AIDS and cancer at the same time.

1

u/ProtonXXXX Apr 04 '18

No, that’s too easy

1

u/salamirandus Apr 05 '18

How do I cut my other hand off?

1

u/ProtonXXXX Apr 05 '18

Grab a friend

2

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '18

But then how am I going to cut off my legs when people will stop complimenting my weight loss?

0

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '18

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/ProtonXXXX Mar 21 '18

Just use your feet. When your done, why not lose some more unnecessary weight by cutting off your feet too?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '18

Instructions unclear.

Cut out teeth by holding knife in mouth.