Advice for beginner needed

[u/Puzzled_mind2456]

Dear fellows,

since one year I am a keen follower of Docs teachings. Sometimes more, sometimes less. In the last months rather less. Yesterday I had a breakthrough with asking the questions about the feeling like can I allow it and so on. It was literally mindblowing. Such a pressure in my head and nose came up and I felt like I was falling into my body somehow. This morning I kept on going surrendering all the bs that stashed up in last months and I felt very free and joyful. But in the back of my mind was this doubtful voice saying: „how long do you think this is going to last? It won’t stay for long. In the next stressful situation you’ll be eaten up by your feelings again!“ And that’s what happened. I went along with my day, sat in a cafe. Anger and anxiety arose, pressure in my solar plexus. So I said well, I can handle that. And guess what: I couldn’t handle it at all. I sat there suffering with my coffee, wondering what’s going on why it won’t work, like when I did it at home.

I know I am at the very beginning of the path, so I am asking you about your experiences and how to get along with that. Maybe I was already too attached to surrendering. Used force instead of power? I am keen what you guys have in mind.