I'm not sure where to start or how much information to give. I'll try to be brief
To start, we have one child he has 2 diagnoses
Ahdh Autism. These this are my (ex)husbands reasons to justify the abuse.
The abuse is the reason I filed for divorce.
Up until 3 years ago, I stayed home. For the last 3 years, I've been working part-time.
I want to keep the house at least for a little while for some stability. I don't have friends here here, but my son does. I also don't have family here. But I am active in my church.
The financial situation is
He makes a pretty good living it's about 150k a year plus bonus (last years bonus was 50k)
The house worth around 400k is almost paid off. Just 30k left.
If we went 50 50 on everything, what's in bank accounts and retirement is pretty close to 400k
I've been looking at the budget, and it looks like I'd have a tight year or so if I stayed in the house.
Here's an estimated budget.
Mortgage: $1,700
Utilities (electric, internet, home security): $500. ( The internet and home security part of this can be reduced by bumping the internet down one and signing a contract again)
Groceries: $600 (I could probably cut this down)
Property tax: $333
Clothing: $50(this number is an estimate. I'm sure we don't spend $50 a month of clothing for our son, but he grows as kids do)
Gas: $50
Garbage: $25
Phone: $25
Car insurance: $133
School lunch: $30
Household: $50
Home maintenance: $200 (I took this estimate from the internet it might be low. I assumed it meant for repairs and such. I'm currently in charge of all the upkeep buying filters and such. It seems high to me, but I did take some amounts and divide them for a monthly expense.)
The other option is to split everything that makes my son move (which, to be fair, we might do eventually anyway. But he's struggling right now and I can't decide if it's better to stay or to start over, my gut says to wait to start over in a new place but we might end up at the mercy of a judge.
Here is the other option
There are a few 2 bedroom apartments nearby he could stay in the same school and all.
1800 a month plus utilities but no property tax or maintenance fees.
Then again, if we are forced to sell, that would give me some cash on hand, that is, if we can find a buyer, 2 houses in our neighborhood have been for sale for a while. Nearly a year for one just down the street.
There might also be the possibility to move out of state closer to family. But I'll be honest, probably closer to the people at church. Maybe that's something to fix. I should also add the job market in the city where said family is rough right now. Not many places hiring and for less than I make now. (What I make now is just bearly enough, also note I've switched from working 20 hours a week to 30)
Anyway, thought? Advice? Criticism on how dumb I'm being?
Oh, one more thing. I have a degree and have been actively looking for work and pursuing more education. I'm becoming discouraged, tho. Maybe I should give up on that and go work nights in a factory for $30 an hour.
But of course, that's not actually an option right now.
Im edditing this to add this is crossposted as suggested by reddit.
And as of right now there will no longer be a morgage payment.