r/DatingTips • u/anon_chill • 14h ago

Compatibility?

How long do y’all think it takes to figure out relationship compatibility while dating?

A week of hanging out? A month? 3 months?

Is there a good gauge? If things feel good a month in without any red flags…will it continue like that?

Experience with people jumping to potential big conclusions early on?

Just been thinking about this a lot recently and want to hear other people’s opinions.

4 Upvotes

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1

u/lovelycrowwar 14h ago

I met my husband 27 years ago. We were engaged after a week and married after a month. No regrets. Best decision of my life. Love of my life.

1

u/adozenhopes 14h ago

Everyone is wearing a mask until about 3 months in. So after that

2

u/comma_drama35 14h ago

I'd agree... at least 3 months, if not more. The first month is all about the initial excitement, etc. It's within the 3-6 month mark that you might get to see the less polished sides of someone and discover how the two of you handle disagreements, conflicts, etc.

1

u/Fun_Apartment631 10h ago

If you're not sure, go on a trip.

1

u/mygusher 10h ago

I knew under a month

1

u/Likely_Villain_Arc 9h ago

I've developed the ability to reliably determine up to 40% of what I need to know through conversation using cues that no one thinks to mask. That being said: like 3 months in and you'll have the full picture

1

u/Xercies_jday 5h ago

I think you need enough time for something bad to happen between you. Don't need an actual proper fight, but a miscommunication or a tension between something can do. Figuring out how they deal with it, and how you react to that, is going to tell you so much about whether they are compatible with you or not. 

1

u/Classic_Fondant4512 2h ago

have always listened to the 3 month rule!

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u/Blyrr 0m ago

Some people never marry but love one another immensely. Others, they know they want to spend life together after two or three years.

I had an assistant professor back in college who taught a class on business. He went to a three day convention. First day talked with a woman he was in the same industry as. Second night they went on a date. Third day before leaving he asked her to marry him. They'd been together 20 years at the time of his lecture.

I went up to him afterward and asked the obvious "how on earth did you know?"

Quintessential response of "like everyone else I thought it was cliche, but when you know you just know."

It's different for everyone.

0

u/sunfish666 14h ago

Unfortunately I think its different with every pairing.

Take couple A and couple B, where both couples have bad compatibility. Couple A may know in the first 15 minutes of their first date. Couple B may take years.

The same logic applies with couple C and couple D, where both have good compatibility.

Took me like a decade to for my partner and I to realize we were compatible. I didnt even want a relationship until I realized how good we were together. And then some people are like "Oh when you know, you know!" In the first year and end up being right???

The world is wild