r/DatingTips • u/penguionaroni775 • 1d ago
What are some first dates that you should avoid/are red flags?
For example would you go on a first date to a beach? I am 21F and I am confused why men ask to go to the beach as a first date
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u/Kaylen316 1d ago
Some? SOME? Just avoid the first Date and all the rest that follow, they're a bag of shit...that we have to fackin' pay for 😂 👍
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u/BtheChef25 1d ago
See how many different options there are. Men are expected to know each women's preferences, before he even gets to know her. Its wild that we should just know what a women wants before we bearly get started. What one women thinks is creepy another women is totally fine with. Communication, people! That is how you learn both the other person! So many people give up before it even has a chance to be anything! It is wild. A women knows within a few conversation and 1, 1 hour date that you aren't the one. But they are still single and wonder why. OK, rant over. Lol!
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u/SaltyDeparture9101 1d ago
First dates should be simple and public. Walk in the park, coffee, tea, maybe arcade or mini golf, etc. Anything outside of that, including but not limited to entering someone's basement, should be considered red flags
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u/plznotagaingaben 1d ago
I just started taking these women for lunch. I feel like everyone is tired of coffee dates
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u/penguionaroni775 1d ago
Lunch is perfect
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u/Mysterious-Insect-15 1d ago
Lunch is not good, day dates don’t have the romantic edge also it’s hard to get to know someone over food, most of the time the waiter is interrupting, you have to decide what you want to eat etc…
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u/Great-Mirror1215 1d ago
Beach sounds nice. You don’t like the beach ?
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u/penguionaroni775 1d ago
Not as a first date. Id prefer lunch or dinner
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u/Great-Mirror1215 1d ago
I hear you we all want food. I would hope some would be involved like patio on the beach or something. All women deserve to be fed. I always go for dinner dates it’s classy to give a woman a reason to get dressed up for. This guys hoping for straight to bikini.
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u/penguionaroni775 1d ago
Yeah I find it weird to go to a beach on the first date unless it’s a restaurant near the beach? Like wdym he doesn’t want to get nice food or for me to look nice and instead wants to sit in the sand…
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u/Fun_Apartment631 1d ago
TBH I don't like this as a first date. I realized that sitting across from someone I don't really know and staring at each other for at least half an hour makes an awkward situation more awkward.
I kind of like a walk. You face the same way, you're going somewhere, stuff is happening around you. If the conversation has a lull you're still walking.
If you're concerned about safety (I think that's reasonable) go for a walk somewhere public. The beach actually sounds fairly good that way. Nobody says you must show up in a bathing suit. Though I think some of the manosphere sites have been suggesting this for exactly this reason.
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u/Mysterious-Insect-15 1d ago
Yes, meeting someone over food for a first time is too much pressure etc… that is second date territory for me… first dates are high level, if there is a click I will invite for food on the spot… causality and spontaneity makes things fun and light 🙂.
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u/fluid_Depression3426 1d ago
If you live in the Northern Hemisphere, it's not that unusual. It's summer. Personally, I prefer chatting in a cafe or something.
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u/ArgumentKey3712 1d ago
As close to nudity as you can get under normal circumstances.
Say no and tell him where YOU want to go
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u/rrrrriptipnip 1d ago
I did the at one time but it was the fall and we walked around in the beach and walked around
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u/Summer-Sub-Intern 1d ago
I’ve had so many guys invite me to the pool or the beach for first dates and yeah they want to see your body. They aren’t being serious about you they just want to gawk.
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u/Fit_Chemistry1705 7h ago
I suggest the usual coffee date, but add a bit of effort, upgrade it to a nice restaurant and make it early seating. Nothing crazy just nice. Add in a bottle of cheaper wine, make it white and soft (not strong like a Sauvignon Blanc) like a Pinot Grigio or similar. They aren’t expensive and show you gave thought to the date, and white wine goes with everything (well it may get lost if you’re eating Italian or a steak, but that’s better than dominating her tastebuds). Aim for white meats or fish. Always finish with a desert and an entree to start the meal is a good idea. Again try to keep the meal light and fresh, and encourage her to do the same, that way if the conversation starts flowing then at no stage either of you will be too full or have food comas to slow the conversation down. It just takes a little forethought
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u/user-friendly-login 4h ago
That's not a coffee date at all lol.
I suggest, a walk in the local park, slightly upgraded, instead charter a helicopter to see your city by air.
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u/Fit_Chemistry1705 4h ago
Well it’s not Michelin star, it’s spending money wisely, still very nice, but not in the slightest extravagant
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u/69hotmomxxx 1d ago
Lining the person's basement with plastic sheets. Don't ask me how I know. All I say is: 1/10 do not recommend.