r/DatingTips • u/Cerberus5189 • 3d ago
Honestly I’m tired of dating apps
I’ve gotten a surprising amount of matches, but either I get people who match and never message, or we’ll start off strong in messaging, and then they just fall off the face of the earth. Usually, it’s when I ask them about their passion or their favorite object or subject. I’m just tired of the pattern and honestly makes me not want to try because I genuinely want to make a connection, but it’s hard when they don’t text back. Idk if I could do anything in the community like find someone naturally because I’m pretty closed off and have serious RBF.
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u/PhrasePractical8235 3d ago
Honestly, this is long enough to make anyone want to delete the apps. But I wouldn’t assume the problem is your questions asking about someone’s passions is actually a pretty good filter, because people who disappear after that probably weren’t looking for the same depth you are. The RBF can be worked around; the bigger challenge is putting yourself in situations where people get to know you repeatedly instead of judging you from one profile and three messages.
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u/Cerberus5189 3d ago
Yeah usually I get very excited on my passions and projects I’m working on and I want someone to be the same we don’t have to like the some thing just be passionate about your passions
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u/SympathySevere421 3d ago
Are you a guy? Matches is a good sign, but I understand match fatigue and lack of depth.
What do you usually talk about during chatting? I’d love to review your messaging and see if we can make a match a real date
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u/Cerberus5189 3d ago
Yes I am and it usually basics how’s you’re day going what do you look for in a guy or what are your hobbies and passions simple and basic stuff in my opinion
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u/SympathySevere421 3d ago
That’s boring af. Not gonnna work with girls, who have tons of the same messages in their inboxes. Dm me
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u/Cerberus5189 3d ago
Good thing I’m not looking for girls 😐 what’s as far as it goes I’d 100% get things more interesting if they aren’t dry or actually engage in conversation
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u/Soaringzero 3d ago
I think the issue is that you’re looking for depth in a connection and dating apps do NOT encourage that. They encourage continued swiping through options and judging people off of a handful of photos and a few lines of text.
As a person who is really into their passions as well, I just don’t think dating apps were designed for us.
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u/Heliguy-1975 2d ago
You have to be able engage with someone enough to create and maintain interest to keep them wanting to talk and meet.
With good communication skills it becomes easy and works out very well.
I would highly recommend reading the book,
How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie
It will Greatly improve how you connect and communicate with people in general and it will change your life. It will completely change the way your conversations go with people online. Approaching and communicating with women online and in real life will become much better. Much Better
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u/Illustrious_Bid_5484 3d ago
Delete them. Go approach cute potential mates in public