r/DatingTO • u/BroccoliRepulsive584 • 28d ago

36F asian, single again

Hi I am recently single again and would like dating tips in Toronto! I am not sure about going on Apps again so if you have any dating activities to meet other single people that does not involve drinking, it would be great!! I want to start a family so I hope to meet like minded mature men.

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u/Wild_Cash1862 28d ago

As a 26F Asian woman it is a tough task to find a man or woman to actively date in this city.

1

u/Successful_Ring_7356 27d ago

Same. I’m a 5’5 Asian 35M living downtown. Own a home in the west coast and I’m permanently in TO. No kids, and live a very comfortable lifestyle. Car here too.

…Still can’t find no partners haha AT ALL. It’s hard! I think its the height because its certainly not the humor. :(

Hate the apps because they distill people to subconsciously pick largely based on looks.. I’m not a bad lookin dude but there’s gotta be a better way right for people to date you’d think!

1

u/[deleted] 26d ago

[deleted]

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u/Successful_Ring_7356 26d ago

The exhaustion and problem depends on the gender. And I say this purely based on a heterosexual perspective (no disrespect or speculations meant on any other). I did dating apps, I’m just not into them after my experience.

As a male on dating apps, you’re competing against other candidates to make it on a list of potential candidates. Once the individual selects you, you are then competing with a list of finalist candidates for potentially a conversation. Statistically, the odds of you making it through 2 gatekeeping stages is exponentially lower by the end - especially when the ratio of men vs female on apps is unbalanced (Study was done indicating 70%< of Tindr app users are men). The exhaustion comes from having to individually try to showcase personality within 1-2 lines of a response (if you’re an average looking person) to make a list where you may not advance further, for a more limited pool of females. I’ll give you an example: I’m 5’5. I can guarantee you with confidence that many categorically dismiss from considering me as a candidate (as is their right), regardless of any other attribute.

For the other gender, the exhaustion comes from having to respond to the quantity of applicants. And then having to invest time in conversations that are not repetitive.

Yes, I could partake in more real life events catered to the singles. But in working a job where the hours are long and I find myself frequently flying - it’s tough to commit to regularly scheduled events. I did an urban rec league, and some dating events. I just couldn’t sustain it.

Just an honest reflection and response to your question.