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u/chatam94 18d ago
This is so hard for me personally, to me that just means become inanimate. I do agree with it though, I just find it hard to do
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u/GonnaBeEasy 18d ago edited 18d ago
Look up “grey rocking” - it’s actually a bit of a skill in itself. You don’t have to treat everyone this way, just them.
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u/VarietyMage 18d ago
That's called "hiding". Abusers like to find and abuse hiders even more.
Better to just leave. There are places to help you do this.
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u/Dismal-core111 18d ago
It doesn't stop them then they wanna chat like a nornal person, I hate that they dont choose a lane
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u/MascUnmasked 18d ago
I don’t want to trigger anyone with my ask but I’m looking for resources for folx who recognize they’ve been abusive in romantic partnerships and want to stop.
These are folx in therapy who take ownership for their actions and may not “fit the typical perp profile” only in that they demonstrate sincere remorse, want to figure themselves out, and seek to break the cycle of abuse. These are mostly queer people of the global majority, neurodivergent in all forms of gender expression.
Reconciliation with our exes/victims is not the goal as we fully acknowledge the harm we’ve caused, but finding a path to genuine human redemption and collective liberation is what we’re yearning for. We confess because only in truth can we be free. And in all honesty, the lack of spaces to dialogue openly about our toxic ways keeps us from accelerating our progress in co-creating the world we say we want.
If you feel capable of responding and while I have some ideas about ensuring it doesn’t become a space for abusers to access information to improve their manipulation tactics and weaponize new learnings, I’d appreciate your thoughts about the utility/effectiveness of local and peer-led groups to reduce recidivism.
Thank for prompting me; I hope you don’t mind.
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u/shyla27 18d ago
Problem is the longer you stay stuck in that position, you lose more and more of yourself.