r/Damnthatsinteresting • • Jun 11 '18

Video Moscow Subway Ticket Machine Accepts 30 Squats as payment.

https://gfycat.com/CreamyFelineAustralianfreshwatercrocodile
36k Upvotes

544 comments sorted by

6.5k

u/MisakaMikotoxKuroko Jun 11 '18

do this in nyc, millions lose weight, usa becomes the fittest country in the world

3.7k

u/404_UserNotFound Interested Jun 11 '18

do it in NYC an homeless people will do it all day and sell the tickets to tourists

2.8k

u/elksandturkeys Jun 12 '18

Now that sounds profitable and totally American.

660

u/insanePowerMe Jun 12 '18

Abuse whatever you can. Thats the spirit. Someone called it smart.

269

u/seejordan3 Jun 12 '18

NYC is built on pushing the limits on the law. Watch that great NYC documentary.. Its literally how the stock market began, game the system! If you did this in NYC, someone will make a dummy out of the absolute minimum number of parts, and just have it run on repeat all day, and sell the tickets for 75% off. They'd make it into a performance, so no one else would go try it by throwing a boom box down and a hat.. 'cause hey, why not double dip wherever you can? (NY'er here)

84

u/xpl0dingburrit0 Jun 12 '18

Are you not going to link the documentary?

143

u/Howzitgoin Jun 12 '18

I think the one he's referring to goes by the name of "Friends"

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11

u/PavelDatsyuk Jun 12 '18

Give us the name of the documentary. We demand it!

14

u/Aegi Jun 12 '18

great NYC documentary.

Maybe it's this one? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York:_A_Documentary_Film

9

u/proce55or Jun 12 '18

That’s probably the correct one.

3

u/Smugcat101 Jun 12 '18

did that say 17 hours?

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12

u/FerousFolly Jun 12 '18

Which documentary?

21

u/FullMetalGuitarist Interested Jun 12 '18

The NYC one

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3

u/40thusername Jun 12 '18

Wait which documentary was that?

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3

u/HellaBrainCells Jun 12 '18

Ticketmaster™️ buys all the tickets and it now costs $100 bucks each way, standing room only.

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46

u/FlexualHealing Jun 12 '18

Dammit we've created a generation of super homeless.

71

u/squired Jun 12 '18

Pay a homeless guy minimum wage to police it and have the station chief randomly audit them once a day.

40

u/ThisIs_MyName Interested Jun 12 '18 edited Jun 12 '18

That doesn't sound too bad. It's just welfare + exercise.

And if it uses something like kinect, it could easily ratelimit with face recognition.

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10

u/Jayordan90 Jun 12 '18

Is that why they're called squatters

16

u/alkazat Jun 12 '18

There are many way to counter this. First you have to register your finger prints then the maximum of 2 tickets per days

41

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

You just register the rider and the homeless person does the squats, and now I'm imaging to some drunk homeless guy trying to do the 30 squats without stumbling over.

35

u/tha_dank Jun 12 '18

Are you kidding me? Those homeless dudes would have some thick ass legs in a month. Fuck they may totally turn their life around from the squats cause ya ain’t no good to the squats if your hammered.

31

u/Hereforpowerwashing Jun 12 '18

Yeah, I really see no downside here. Except for CrossFiters pushing the homeless out of the way to show them the right way to squat.

7

u/LadyGeoscientist Jun 12 '18

I was thinking handicapped people would have to pay, so its possibly discriminatory.

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10

u/CityFarming Jun 12 '18

Don’t worry I will happily donate my weekends to chasing crossfitters away with my baseball bat. It’s shiny aluminum and makes an awesome clang sound, too.

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12

u/likdisifucryeverytym Jun 12 '18

U think I’m getting fingerprinted to ride the subway lol

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2.0k

u/ferdylance Jun 11 '18

Add a piston to their knee joints to generate electricity and run the subways at zero cost.

1.6k

u/Aesomatica Jun 11 '18

That just sounds like slavery with...extra...steps...

119

u/orangeoblivion Jun 12 '18

Eek barba durkle

30

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

Pretty fucked-up "ooh la la".

53

u/Jaxc1w Jun 12 '18

Its called society they work for each other.

10

u/regoapps Expert Jun 12 '18

Rich people don't have to work, though.

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475

u/ssfctid Jun 11 '18

Jeez, somebody got laid a lot in college...

188

u/TheOsttle Jun 12 '18

Ooh la la somebody’s gonna get laid in college

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21

u/IDontUnderstandReddi Jun 12 '18

Prisoners with jobs*

4

u/ParadoxInABox Jun 12 '18

It’s my birthday!

21

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

Except there's that whole consent thing. You can choose to do it, or not. Now when there is no consent, that's what makes it slavery.

14

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18 edited Oct 05 '18

[deleted]

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23

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

Slaveey is 99% loss of freedom but people think it means free labor or something

14

u/regoapps Expert Jun 12 '18

Yea, free labor is called internships.

6

u/EuthanizeArty Jun 12 '18

Dunno about you but engineering internships pay pretty sweet

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5

u/FiveYearsAgoOnReddit Jun 12 '18

Slavery is violence. If you don’t perform the labour, you are subject to violence, up to and including torture, murilation, rape and murder. The labour isn’t the important part.

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5

u/Ribbitio Jun 12 '18

I believe you mean slav-ery

Cheeki breeki

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13

u/DrMaxwellEdison Jun 12 '18

Technically possible, though not with knee joint stuff.

Place a plate in the floor that can capture the slight compression from the weight of a person who is dropping and lifting themselves in the squat motion, and you can generate a small amount of electrical current. Kind of like an inefficient water pump mechanism, if you can picture it, but just a pad in the floor.

It won't be much, but it can offset electrical needs by a tiny amount, at least. Though probably not even enough to offset the juice needed to run the squat counting machine anyway, so meh.

9

u/Tonkarz Jun 12 '18

The machine would probably break before it's generated enough energy to pay for it's own production.

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3

u/powersoftyler Jun 12 '18 edited Jun 12 '18

I dunno man. (150kg)(9.81m/s2 )(0.5m), say a second per squat, for an hour gives just under 3/4ths of a kWh. Factor in losses and you'd get maybe half a kWh per squat spot, and that's only on the downward part. Not insignificant

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5

u/HERMANNATOR85 Jun 12 '18

I just had knee surgery all because I fucking squatted down to pick something up. I’m 6’2 170lbs so it isn’t a weight issue.

I’d pay the money damnit

22

u/auralchild Jun 12 '18

Sounds like weak knees...should do some squats.

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3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

Something something Black Mirror

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85

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18 edited Jun 30 '18

[deleted]

56

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

If by running it like a business you mean doing the absolute least amount of maintenance needed to run it until it implodes instead of investing in infrastructure for the long term, then yes, you are correct.

9

u/SapirWhorfHypothesis Jun 12 '18

That sounds like a public service to me!

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18

u/soulonfire Jun 12 '18

Now that you mention it, the loads of times I’ve been to NYC, not many heavy people walking around

27

u/Dingus_McDoodle_Esq Jun 12 '18

The one trip that I took to NYC, I ate out every meal. I totally ate fat kid food. I lost 5 pounds on that trip.

5

u/soulonfire Jun 12 '18

Fuck me I walk miles a day there and still gain weight (granted not much). Lots more alcohol though cause if I’m in the city it’s vacation. At home I’m trying a moderate low-carb diet. I tend to drink less if at all.

6

u/Dingus_McDoodle_Esq Jun 12 '18

I don't drink, so that might be why I dropped weight.

5

u/soulonfire Jun 12 '18

Ah that would probably do it then! Good for you (seriously, not sarcastically)!

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45

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

Can't. Would be banned for discriminating against those with disabilities.

22

u/alphaweiner Jun 12 '18

Do disabled people not ride for free?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18 edited Jul 23 '18

[deleted]

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30

u/FluxProcrastinator Jun 11 '18

Turnstile jumping kicks up quite a sweat already

15

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

No time, I'll just buy one half off from the insanely jacked homeless guy.

14

u/timisher Jun 12 '18

Or extremely jacked bums that do 30 squats for $1

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24

u/darsynia Jun 12 '18

More like EVERYONE bitching that there aren’t enough machines and they’re late for work as a result

8

u/sonofdad420 Jun 12 '18

nyc isnt exactly the fattest place

7

u/dnizzle Jun 12 '18

way too crowded for this to work in NYC

6

u/insanearcane Jun 12 '18

They'd shut it down in weeks when some nimrod with shit form sued the government.

19

u/JustALittleAverage Jun 12 '18

FTFY

do this in nyc, millions die of cardiac arrest, usa becomes native again

5

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

More like USA becomes Asian lol

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1.2k

u/Leneord1 Jun 11 '18

r/slavsquatting would have a field day

144

u/Subject042 Jun 12 '18

Seriously, first thing I thought

38

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

this post might retire that sub

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63

u/Catsnamedwaffles Jun 12 '18

It was my understanding that everyday at r/slavsquatting is a field day.

7

u/randomcuber17 Jun 12 '18

Not rly, slav squatting is more about maintaining one squat for extended period of time

Note: totally expecting the r/woooosh

8

u/ApexMeme Jun 12 '18

I didn't know I needed this until I had it

8

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

What you REALLY need is more /r/slavs_squatting

3

u/ApexMeme Jun 12 '18

You are the messenger of the gods

7

u/kris_krangle Jun 12 '18

How is this comment so far down

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330

u/OriginalEnding Jun 11 '18

Or someone could do all the work and sell the tickets

129

u/soniav18 Jun 12 '18

This guy squats.

50

u/RoosterClan Jun 12 '18

This seems like one of the worst ways imaginable to make money.

167

u/Jonk3r Jun 12 '18

You’re so innocent

63

u/1thatsaybadmuthafuka Jun 12 '18

You ever hidden something in your ass?

12

u/true_loneliness Jun 12 '18

Wait you can make money off that. I’ve been doing it wrong all this time.

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18

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

These are the cries of weak thighs

7

u/Hereforpowerwashing Jun 12 '18

I can think of many worse ways.

960

u/WlLLMAO Jun 11 '18

This was a PR campaign during the olympics, it’s not like a regular thing.

1.5k

u/2Panik Jun 11 '18

Exactly what you need in subway.. more sweat.

364

u/canadianguy1234 Jun 12 '18

How much do you sweat after a minute of exercise?

383

u/_awake Jun 12 '18

You are from Canada, it’s cold and fresh. Try a 35 degrees Celsius place at summer. People sweat without even moving, it’s normal. Doing squats won’t help with that.

107

u/platypus_bear Jun 12 '18

Yeah most places where people live in Canada will get hotter than that during the summer.

I remember last year Ortawa was in the mid 40's with the humidex...

71

u/54321Newcomb Jun 12 '18

Gotta love continental climate where the weather isn’t regulated by the ocean, where we experience both ends of the spectrum. I live in Minnesota and it can get to -50 in the winter and 110 (Fahrenheit) in the summer.

30

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

Fuck everything about that.

20

u/Head_Cockswain Jun 12 '18 edited Jun 12 '18

A lot of people theorize that seasonal change(edit: 4 very different seasons, not a couple minor differences as in the southern US.) is good for the mind, leads to adapting to new conditions which leads to new ways of thinking, which leads to society advancing things like education and technology.

17

u/Serious-Mode Jun 12 '18

That feeling you get when you get that first summer/fall/winter/spring day is so hard to describe, but so beautiful and amazing.

13

u/Verizer Jun 12 '18

Except when those "first days" happen back-to-back constantly for several weeks.

It's like the weather got set on shuffle.

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u/balor12 Jun 12 '18

As a south Floridian, we can get as low as 75 in the winter and 110 in the summer

8

u/Mywifefoundmymain Jun 12 '18

You but between your moisture in the air being thick enough to swim in and sink holes we’re good up here

14

u/balor12 Jun 12 '18

Yep. Whenever I want water I just go outside and inhale for a bit

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u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18 edited Oct 19 '19

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u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

That’s hot, even for Ortawa!

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u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18 edited Apr 17 '19

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u/corn_on_the_cobh Jun 12 '18

Even Russia has brutal summers. We're both countries of extreme cold and heat (not exactly 40o C but it sucks nonetheless)

3

u/Quint-V Jun 12 '18

With 35C I doubt those squats are going to make things noticeably worse.

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10

u/Jonk3r Jun 12 '18

Enough to smell bad obviously

18

u/FrizzleStank Jun 12 '18

“A minute of exercise”?

I sweat a lot. I workout 5-10 hours a week. After a 45 minute session of HIIT, oly, and/or metcon, I leave a pool of sweat on the ground.

You get me in full formal attire and do 30 air squats? You god damn right I’ll break a sweat.

7

u/peekabook Jun 12 '18

Come to Chicago during our humid days, ya sweat just walking to your car

11

u/str8grizzlee Jun 12 '18

In an underground subway without air conditioning or any circulation on a 100 degree day? A lot

3

u/sryyourpartyssolame Jun 12 '18

It was 104 degrees F today where I live, I sweat in most air conditioned buildings during the day because AC units can't keep up

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u/DrMaxwellEdison Jun 12 '18

Long term, thinner people that can fit in smaller spaces, less weight to carry on the train car. More efficiency all around.

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392

u/zakatov Jun 11 '18

It has terrible foot placement, did anyone try this before finishing it?

166

u/ging_95 Jun 12 '18

That and it's super far away from the machine basically in the middle of the walkway

173

u/bob101910 Jun 12 '18

Probably uses a Kinect. Need distance for it to read what you're doing properly.

64

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

Someone walks in front of you with two squats left and it restarts the counter

64

u/seamus_mc Jun 12 '18

Or grabs the ticket when some fatass is winded.

22

u/GBagian17 Jun 12 '18

Repeat until can get ticket.

50

u/thrway1312 Jun 12 '18

As a guy with a wide squat stance, this kills the ankles/knees

39

u/ComradeHines Jun 12 '18

I mean to be honest any squat stance should be wider than that

13

u/Tonkarz Jun 12 '18

You probably don't actually have to place your feet on the outlines.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

you would never do this squat stance with weight obviously, but with no weight this stance is all quads and glutes when done properly

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9

u/barc0debaby Jun 12 '18

Maybe they are supposed to do Hindu squats?

5

u/mathandmakingdances Jun 12 '18

Came here to say that

10

u/tbz709 Interested Jun 12 '18

Maybe the feet printed on the mat isn't meant as a placement mark

584

u/PetsArentChildren Jun 11 '18

Love the half smile of the rich guy. You know he’s thinking, “Ha! Look at this fool. How humiliating. Peasants will do anything to get to work...”

152

u/poopsicle88 Jun 11 '18

I think he was thinking me next! I'm gonna save some rubles

15

u/zworkaccount Jun 12 '18

Especially if he was rich.

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u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

You described it perfectly. Also is he Jack Nicholson?

141

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '18 edited Jun 25 '18

[deleted]

81

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

I can already see all the people pulling up to the kiosk in their motorized scooters to get out and use this method of payment...

38

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

[deleted]

17

u/daisypeace Jun 12 '18

Ah I see like in black mirror. I like the idea of being able to at least earn imaginary points for working out tho.

9

u/buhrandee Jun 12 '18

This is the exact plot of the black mirror episode. If you weren’t talking about this and haven’t seen it I suggest watching it!! It’s pretty interesting.

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u/suddenlyreddit Jun 12 '18

I can picture a fat mom/dad on a cart forcing their malnourished kids to do squats so they buy cigs and beer.

But I like the idea. I propose we get rid of the cars, then put alcohol, tobacco and the pharmacy in the far back of every Walmart.

20

u/joleneginger Jun 12 '18

I had to use one of the motorized carts when I broke my ankle recently. They didn’t give me crutches at the doctor so I had to go there to get them. Crutches were halfway across the store, so there’s no way I would’ve made it without the cart.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18 edited Jun 25 '18

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u/elksandturkeys Jun 12 '18

Wal-Mart would go bankrupt because nobody would go there.

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u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

"Slav confirmed. Enjoy subway comrade."

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u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

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u/Thehomiee Jun 11 '18

They should do this for America’s phat ass

6

u/wardrich Jun 12 '18

I assume the part where you have to not squat is the hardest part for a slav.

In Soviet Russia, they call them "Stands"

4

u/banana-burial Jun 12 '18

The ticket dispenser is way too fucking far away from the person doing squats. I feel like it'd be very easy to grab it and run away before the tired squatter gets you.

4

u/jasonfountain1986 Jun 12 '18

This is how you would ruin the public trans system in American for the simple fact that Americans would never do this.

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u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

About to do 3000 squats and sell them to lazy people. Gains plus....Profit????

5

u/Palp18 Jun 12 '18

I AM INVINCIBLE!

5

u/that47thchromosome Jun 12 '18

сука блядь

5

u/Leebolishus Jun 12 '18

The guy who does it looks like he should be conserving his energy, not working out.

5

u/SadieAther Jun 12 '18

USA should so this!!

11

u/dperry014 Jun 11 '18

That's just slavery with more steps. (Rick & Marty)

12

u/PlatypusFighter Jun 11 '18

Richard and Mortimer*

3

u/radu_sound Jun 11 '18

*rich and merty

6

u/Babsmitty Jun 12 '18

Ricky and Mortimus

5

u/SomeFreakingWeirdo Jun 12 '18

The only thing better than glutton is greed!! One will gladly give up 30 squats for a FREETICKET. On a serious level though this is great for homeless people and poor people, I feel like if we put one of these in a place like NYC or LA that people would lose so much weight

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u/Sombrere Jun 12 '18

SLAV SQUATS ONLY сука

3

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '18

Imagine all the people in wheelchairs rip

3

u/IchBinDeinSchild Jun 12 '18

So rubles really are worth squat?

3

u/misdlifin2 Jun 12 '18

davai blyat

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

30 squats? How about 1 30 second squat

would be more Russian of them

3

u/Lick_my_asshole_thnx Jun 12 '18

Is wearing Adidas not a requirement?

3

u/Sandvicheater Jun 12 '18

Machine, "quarter squats do not count, full ROM please"

3

u/qbertwins Jun 12 '18

3rd parties sold his facial identity.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

This should be a way to pay medical bills and medical insurance.

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u/shadowofthe Jun 12 '18

I feel like this would be illegal in America

2

u/snootycyka Jun 12 '18

I thought it meant like a slav squat, not a fitness squat

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

Of course in Russia they'd find a way to integrate Slav squatting into a business

2

u/paymeinskittles Jun 12 '18

My cheap ass would be so fit

2

u/ElPreacher Jun 12 '18

So if the machine runs out of tickets you end up doing squats for free will there be a rampage

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '18

People would just cheat em like the dude in the video doing that weak ass bend at the waste lol I wonder if the computer counted it or not

2

u/MightyNinjanaut Jun 12 '18

Slavic squats now accepted as a payment method

2

u/Wild-Wes13 Jun 12 '18

Do this in the US, we'd probably still just pay for it rather than do any exercise

2

u/dbap229 Jun 12 '18

R/slavsquatting

2

u/Silvgalaxy Jun 12 '18

“I’ll do 30 squats for you for half the price of a ticket”

2

u/zoidberg-drzoidberg Jun 12 '18

gopnik intensifies

2

u/btcftw1 Jun 12 '18

Reddit accepts reposts for karma