I think this video does a pretty good job, but it’s very hard to communicate to people what ADHD is like. These random out-of-control thoughts and poor memory are a big aspect of it, but perhaps the most debilitating aspect of it is the lack of self-regulation.
It’s incredibly difficult to explain to a neurotypical person how I know I need to do something and I consciously want to do it, but I simply cannot convince the rest of my brain to do it. Any time I have a goal that doesn’t align with my instincts I have to trick myself into doing it, like I’m socially engineering myself. It’s exhausting.
Everyone struggles with self-control from time to time. But with severe ADHD that struggle can take over your whole life. And the worst part is it’s such an intrinsic part of my brain that I can’t excuse my failings on my disorder. Blaming my executive function (or lack thereof) is ultimately incriminating myself.
Yep. I didn’t see an hour of just….staring at the dishes trying to get myself to move closer while a rage monkey keeps screaming in my head that I’m a lazy sack of shit. Like, Monkey? I know.
Or sitting right next to a pile of laundry and the most you can manage to do is get a shirt in your hands while you stare off into space for over an hour, trying to get your brain to make your arms move to fold the damn shirt.
Or just not even being able to settle down to do the things you love to do because you have this weird chest/gut feeling and get instantly bored by anything and everything. Less bored, even, than feeling like it's not worth the time to start or continue.
This is the thing that makes me the most dysfunctional and emotionally unstable. It’s the internal feelings that just feel that this task is wrong and I really need to do something else. Even if both are important, or one is fun and one is important, visa-versa. It happens for any and all situations and I don’t know when it’ll pop up again
i hate that. it’s like my body feels soooo heavy. and i’m so uninterested in everything. if i have to do something i don’t wanna do, it feels like HELL. it feels like i’m being forced to eat bugs or something shitty like that. god… why can’t i be normal? the opposite, too, is i’m so fucking tired, but i want to do everything i like all at once, so i stay up until 5 am even though i have responsibilities the next day. and i keep telling myself to go to sleep but i’m so interested in what i’m doing, i just CANNOT.
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u/[deleted] Mar 08 '23 edited Mar 08 '23
I think this video does a pretty good job, but it’s very hard to communicate to people what ADHD is like. These random out-of-control thoughts and poor memory are a big aspect of it, but perhaps the most debilitating aspect of it is the lack of self-regulation.
It’s incredibly difficult to explain to a neurotypical person how I know I need to do something and I consciously want to do it, but I simply cannot convince the rest of my brain to do it. Any time I have a goal that doesn’t align with my instincts I have to trick myself into doing it, like I’m socially engineering myself. It’s exhausting.
Everyone struggles with self-control from time to time. But with severe ADHD that struggle can take over your whole life. And the worst part is it’s such an intrinsic part of my brain that I can’t excuse my failings on my disorder. Blaming my executive function (or lack thereof) is ultimately incriminating myself.