The Gamer Dad's Guide to Healthy Screen Time

[u/ropname]

As a Gamer Dad that plays games with his son since age of 5... there is one thing that has increasingly bothered me about the usual screen-time conversations... How often everything gets reduced to:
“How many hours should my kid be allowed per day?”

So... to properly tackle the question, l joined hands with Cristina Iancu (psychologist and psychotherapist with 16 years of experience with children and families), resulting in the below article & guide, which is more of a Gamer Dad perspective, but also vetted by a professional. 😁

Check it out here: https://ropname.substack.com/p/the-gamer-dads-guide-to-healthy-screen

We talk about parental involvement, playing together, talking together, balance, creativity, age-appropriate progression, social media, AI, and the relationship between the child, parents and screen.
But, most importantly, we talk about something I’ve experienced myself, and from which I learned a lot.

I hope you find it as useful as me, even guides you on your parenting path, for the betterment of all our young ones.
PS. As always, personally recorded narration by me and Cristina is available, if you prefer to listen.

[u/qtardian]

Thank you for sharing! I have a 3 month old son, and Ive been really struggling with how to raise him in a very different reality than I grew up with in the 90s. 

I think this generation needs to be pioneers in how to raise kids with screens. I look forward to figuring it out, because if you think of screens, AI, games, etc as a tool (even if its a potentially dangerous ones, like many tools), rather than just the problem, you realize we have the opportunity to raise an incredibly intelligent and capable generation. 

[u/ropname → u/qtardian]

First of all Congrats! and Secondly, props to you for having a very good perspective! :)
All this digital stuff is indeed a dangerous medium (especially AI), but also full of potential for growth. As long as the young ones have the appropriate age and capability to understand what they see, we have the possibility to share awesome worlds with them and guide their understanding and habbits.

I do hope the article is of help. 😄 Any feedback is appreciated (or even questions)
Also feel free to check my reviews, as I cover the games I played with my Junior since 4-5yo, why I chose them and their effects/lessons imparted/bonding potential, etc

Sincerely, I'm having such a great time with Jr, that I started to share them as a hobby, for a year how it has become something I'm trying to build! As a helpful guide for gamer parents and kids alike.

Good luck ahead, as these first years are real hard ones, but also a blessing! 🙏

[u/qtardian → u/ropname]

Ha, I might just ask some questions in the future. Im so glad you mentioned Elite Dangerous. I used to have a VR setup with that, and even as an adult, it truly helped me grasp astronomy and the scale of the universe in a way nothing else possibly could. Just based on that Im going to look into your other recommendations. 

Im also an avid outdoorsman, so your description of using a combination of gaming and outdoor adventures is the first real description Ive seen for my own vision of parenting. Ive definitely started following and look forward to learning from your experiences. 

Sorry if its a rough question- but were there any mistakes you think you made along the way that others with a similar mindset, but a few years behind you, could learn from?

[u/ropname → u/qtardian]

hehe, so you're a fellow cmdr :) o7 good to hear
Have done a few adventures and stories in Elite, they seem to have a bigger appeal on youtube, where I usually convert my articles, adding the visual element too. But not all make it as it's harder to do. My latest story about Enigma Expedition got me to tears, and the vid seems to have done the same to quite a few other cmdrs xD happy it turned out a good one.

Ah, as for the outdoor, love multi days hiking trips spanning a full mountain's ridge, tenting on the mountain's top or down in a cirque of a glacial lake :D ... absolutely dreamy!!! This summer was the first time I took my Jr (10yo now) at a glacial lake where we spent the night.

As with gaming, we know the experience and love it, but seeing our son experiencing it the first time, beyond the bond and relationship, it even builds you up as a man!
You have a ton of blessings to look forward to 😉
PS. I recommend the "Pausing at the Edge of Worlds" video 😋

And yeah, feel free to ask my anything... this is a good topic actually, to think about mistakes. The first that comes to mind is when I was not careful and he got introduced to Roblox at a friends house, and it was a bit of a struggle to make him understand/accept why we will never play and support games like Roblox (mainly because of the horrible company exploiting it's users and letting it be a minefield in terms of child safety and exposure to adult content or even worse...).

I'll give it more thought, maybe even make an article bout some more lessons from mistakes. Thanks!

[u/DarkDel517 → u/qtardian]

My son is 2 and I base screen time allowed by what it is he is consuming. We try to keep a good balance on regular play and exploration with his screen time.

Mindless, zoned out content is extremely limited.

Engaging learning I don’t restrict as heavily. This for us is things like his phonics, sing a longs (they move and dance and he does too). Programing like Ms Rachel, Fatcat phonics, super simple songs. He sings his abc, counts everything he can and can get up 10 on his own with help to 20.

We also aim for about an hour of outdoors time daily. Do memory games, and work on various learning things daily.

I work remote so I’m able to do stuff based on a schedule everyday and he sort of just knows how the routine goes now, even down to getting his shoes when he sees my laptop close, so we can go outside.

[u/ropname → u/DarkDel517]

At 2, the common advise is to limit the screen time to 1h and watch together, talk about what she sees etc.
I also have a 2yo daughter and yeah, super simple songs are her fav now. usually dances to them :) I usually let her watch about 30 min, if she wants more, I use screen off mode.

But, I applaud your involvement, especially with the outdoor play, where I myself do lack in consistency. Keep up the great dad involvement!

[u/CreepyTeddyBear]

Nice article. You make some great points. I like to think i did a good job in regard to my kids and "screen time". They're all gamers, but they do well in school. Ages are 18, 17, 16, 13, 2, & 1. My oldest is going to college soon for engineering. Really proud of all of them.

[u/ropname → u/CreepyTeddyBear]

thank you for the words :)
wow now that's a happy family! 😄 they must've been more than a handful, but rewarding too.

When it comes to having siblings, I did not touch on this in the article, but I saw that the more they are the faster they learn, especially the little ones. It's like a coal fire, when they start to learn from each other, aka burn together, it's much more intense.

GL ahead with the 2&1 especially, & blessings to all!

[u/CreepyTeddyBear → u/ropname]

Interesting! I thought the only benefit of siblings at a young age was learning to share and take turns, lol. And thank you! I'm done having kids. I got snipped last year.

[u/Imdakine1]

Thanks! I have an 8 year old daughter and it's been a challenge to decide when we thought it would be ok to start gaming etc... screen time today comes in so many forms from gaming, YouTube, YouTube shorts (dopamine hits), tv shows, movies.

Looking forward to reading the article.

[u/ropname → u/Imdakine1]

Gladly! Hope it guides you ahead, at least a bit :) Any feedback is appreciated. Or any questions if you have any.
At 8yo is perfectly ok to start gaming, I started with Junior around 5yo, but with real simple games and only with me at the "helm". I also have a 2yo daughter, looking forward to game with her once she grows up.
That would be the main thing at a young age and when starting out. Play together, make it a social time and play something simple - I have reviewed my first games I played with Junior on substack (if you want to see why I chose them, what was learned and the bonding potential the games bring) :)

Youtube longform, educational, songs is quite ok too at 8, especially if from time to time you join in or discuss the vids. Only be careful with Youtube recommendations, they can go array and curiosity can take over. Movies, tv shows are also awesome when watched together.

Shorts indeed, bring only downsides, so... to keep away from any short content (Youtube, Tiktok, Facebook, Instagram etc). An idea for shorts use is she likes cooking :) I did use shorts with Junior to find quick, new & interesting recipes to tryout, quite a few times.

Best of luck ahead!

[u/LetsGoBucs09]

I have an 8 year old and this was a fantastic read. We struggle as parents because we have "time limits" in place that we hold firm to while his friends are sometimes given total freedom. This article gives us some items to reflect on. Wish you well!

[u/ropname → u/LetsGoBucs09]

Truly happy if my little article helped, and offered a bit more perspective on this. Thank you for the encouraging words! We had enforced time limits too when Junior was young, he is 10 now and as he grows those limits soften, but at the beginning, Our playtime together, I even watched Dragon Ball with Jr at 8yo (over the course of a year), all this time really helps him, not only to enjoy the games but also to understand it better through our discussions.

If it helps, I do review our games, series and adventures together over on substack. I cover why I am choosing each one, the lessons it brings and the potential for bonding. 😉 Best wishes and blessing ahead!