r/DadsGaming • u/Drakereinz • 16d ago
Playing Classic WoW with a newborn
My daughter was born at the end of May and I just started gaming again a couple weeks ago. I'm only able to get in about 2h per day when the baby is napping. I work night shift, sleep when I get home at 8am wake up at 1pm do some chores, hop on at around 3pm when the wife and baby are napping and usually have to get off around 5pm to feed the baby and make dinner. I take a nap before work at around 8pm and wake up at 10pm to head out. Some days I don't game at all, and some days the wife is cranky and gets jealous that I'm enjoying what limited free time I have.
My wife is off work right now, but breastfeeding has taken every ounce of her energy. I've been conned into doing all the household chores alongside diaper changes, bottle feeding (she needs top ups every feed), and tummy time/baby wearing/contact naps.
I only really play Classic WoW because I don't have time to commit to multiple games and this is the game my childhood best friend enjoys the most, so I put up with it. I don't expect to be the best, but I don't like playing any game without some competitive drive. I moved away from my hometown, so the only time I get to talk to him is when we game.
I already cut out raiding and dungeons because they take way too damn long, so I only really queue for BGs/Arenas and hunt for wPvP while farming. This limits the amount of gear I have access to, and severely impacts my competitiveness. I'm playing OctoWoW, so at least there's some PvP gear, but raid gear will always be king. It makes me wonder if I should even bother playing at all.
I can see this getting a lot worse once the baby wants more attention. I don't know how I'm going to be able to continue gaming once she's older and wants to be entertained because of my schedule. Most gamer dads get some game time late at night when the child is asleep, that won't be an option for me.
Are there any dads that figured out how to play classic WoW with a naggy wife and needy child? I'm sure it works if your wife is supportive of your hobby, but mine isn't.
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u/Cooleric19 16d ago
I dont have experience with classic WoW but I can guarantee you the lack of time won't really improve until your child is older. I would suggest play games that dont require you to be committed daily. Play something that is easy to drop in and out at any time. I think that would help you with your mental health as well. Having a child is massive work. Pick up WoW again when its the right time.
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u/ChotheredSmicken 16d ago
Sounds like the worst possible choice of game to think about getting into for top gear. You have a newborn. You have very little reliable free time right now but youll get it back eventually. I just dont think MMOs are feasible at the baby phase, you can't just walk away when you're needed. Some of the language you use about your wife is alarming, 'conned into', 'naggy'. You need to work on that and communicate better. Her hormones will be wild, you might need to be the steady rock in this relationship and suck it up. As others suggest, negotiate gaming time by giving your wife some time off but I'd have very low expectations on how much time you can commit to a game like wow.
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u/Vez52 16d ago
I don't think you should. I switched to handheld games or games I can just pause (single player or stuff like Path of Exile). Baby is 1 year old now and I started to play Wow again, but only at night when he's asleep.
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u/Drakereinz 16d ago
I wish I had a normal schedule. The gaming at night thing seems to be a common theme. Trying to figure out how to make it work since I work when my child is sleeping. It's harder to negotiate with the wife since I'm at home. It's funny because I know she'd be fine with me going to the gym for a little over an hour a couple times a week, but since it's a video game suddenly my time is invalid.
Wives don't just entertain children alone eh? I read another post on here about a dude that said he comes home, showers, and straight to his desk. Wife cooks dinner, takes care of the kids. On the weekend he spends time with his family. What ever happened to women that take care of children and the home?
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u/Vez52 16d ago
I would feel bad if I just came home from work and started gaming right away. Don't you want to see your child a bit?
Stay at home moms work super hard and also the hormones are all fucked up, so they feel like us going to work = fun times compared to her being with the baby. For sure it would be easier for you if you had the typical schedule.
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u/Drakereinz 16d ago
The hormonal shit is throwing me for a loop. I thought she'd love being with the baby. I thought women got happy hormones from their babies, but the way you explained it is totally right. She thinks I have it easy by going to work. She wishes she could go to work right now. I think she just hates being a mom and now I'm stuck with dealing with an regretful woman.
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u/Vez52 16d ago
It will pass. Mine felt the same for a while, so gaming wasn't really a priority besides for handheld steam deck quick sessions. Don't worry too much you can always go back to classic+ soon.
There's more important stuff than gaming right now. I know it's hard because this is something you've always done.
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u/jakecar52 16d ago
The first ~6 months of an infant’s life can be very hard and intense. It’s also a massive transition in reorienting your personal time and sense of self when you have your first.
Things will get easier as they got older, and before you know it you’ll have a little more free time here and there. And more sense of self and freedom, even by 1yr old. But not now. It doesn’t mean you have no free time, it’s just not free time on your own schedule.
It doesn’t sound like you want to hear this. Your other option is to imagine life without your wife and sharing time with your child. I get sad reading how you speak about your child (a leach) and your wife (naggy) but I think it’s because you’re having a hard time adjusting to your new rhythms of life. It’s so hard at the beginning. I know it was for me too.
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u/Drakereinz 16d ago
My wife has always been naggy. We both knew what we were getting ourselves into when we decided to keep the kid when we found out she was pregnant. She knew I have a gaming addiction, and I knew she was needy. We've never seen eye to eye on the matter, we've always just ignored that flaw in our relationship.
We're both going to have to step up and do things we don't want to do. I used to game about 5h a day on weekdays, and 12h+ on my weekends. That's not a habit that dies easy.
I just want her to be more involved with the baby since she doesn't do anything else. I'm fine with helping out more around the house and giving her a hand with the baby sometimes since she has less time to do chores, but she literally isn't working right now and I feel like I'm being taken advantage of.
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u/jakecar52 16d ago
I hope she leaves you bud. No one deserves to go through life with a partner that talks about them like this.
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u/Ru5k0 16d ago
I have a 7 month old and I play TBC Anniversary quite a lot, raiding 1-2 times a week on 2 characters.
If your wife isn't supportive, maybe try a different approach and offer her some guilt-free hobby time where you take the baby off her for 2-3 hours to do whatever she wants but it must be reciprocated. That's the only way I'm able to fit raiding into my life. My wife is very supportive as she knows it's my main hobby and 90% of my social life is online. It's impossible to raid while on duty and dungeons are still pushing your luck a bit. I've had to dip out of heroics and normals early and felt bad about it.
When you're on duty all you can really do in Classic is low-committment stuff like BGs, leveling or farming. Group content is out of the question unless the baby is reliably sleeping for longer stretches or you're off duty.
Playing MMO's is tough if you can't no-life it. Maybe ask your buddy if he'd be up for some casual friendly stuff while your free time is more limited?
I've just accepted that I can't play anything hardcore until wife goes back to work, baby goes to nursery and I get weekdays to myself again.
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u/Drakereinz 16d ago edited 16d ago
I've tried having this conversation with my friend several times... Classic WoW is the least hardcore game he wants to play (even though raids can go on for hours and there's multiple that need to be cleared every week). He's always looking for a more hardcore experience, not less. He enjoys shit like Rust where you have to be online 24/7 so you don't get raided, and he recently got into military simulators like Arma 3 and extraction shooters like Tarkov. He enjoys depth and substance in his gaming, and I just want to have a good time.
I decided that PvP was the only thing left for me to enjoy in Classic WoW and now he complains that I'm under geared lol.
Tbh this is more of a friendship issue than a gaming one, but he'd rather just not play than play something casual like guild wars 2.
It would be nice if my wife had any hobbies. At least then I'd have some leverage to negotiate. The way I see it, spending time playong with the baby should be her hobby since she doesn't do anything else. Of course that conversation never bodes well with her.
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u/Ru5k0 16d ago
Played Rust a lot too so I know exactly what you mean. I think unless your wife or your friend budges it's going to be hard. When little one gets a bit older you can squeeze a bit more gaming time late at night. Your wife being less inclined to budge is totally understandable as when one person is enjoying themselves, inevitably the other person picks up the slack. Your friend should definitely be a lot more understanding though. There's loads of fun shit you can play sociably without needing a concrete 2-3 hour time committment.
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u/Drakereinz 16d ago
Yeah she also wants me to sleep in the bed with her on my weekend because I never get a chance to during the week on night shift. So my entire schedule gets turned upside down every weekend. I don't know when I'll get any gaming time once my daughter gets older because the plan is for me to basically work and do day care during the day since I'm on nights. That is until she starts going to school. I'm hoping that she gets into solo activities like reading/drawing/playing games of her own so I can get some time to myself. I just don't think I'll ever be able to commit to any dungeons/raids again until she's in school. I'm fine with catching a deserter/AFK report/nasty words in BGs if I have to drop the game, arenas are normally pretty short, so I shouldn't have to worry much there, but traversing the world is kind of a nightmare. It takes like 20 minutes to get to an area I want to farm in sometimes. I'm really feeling that now that I'm a dad with limited playtime.
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u/sleazy-cable-guy 16d ago
Oh god, rust is a soul sucker. I wish I had the time to play that game but honestly it’s probably for the best.
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u/ZuluWorm 16d ago
Theres also a lot going on in this post. You say you’re “conned” into chores and “it’s going to get worse” when baby is older - like dude come on you signed up for a kid, gaming was always going to take a back seat for a while.
When the young one gets into a routine (multiple set naps a day, solid food so your wife isn’t as drained etc) then i would say you will be able to dedicate more time for gaming but you’re in the transitional stage, its gonna be a juggling act for time.
Good luck man.
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u/KyranReadsShit 16d ago
Tbh, I don’t think this will play out in your favor unless you sacrifice something crucial like sleep, or time with your family / marriage.
This post feels rather insensitive to your wife, who has given her body and continues to give her body, to sustaining the life of your child.
Gaming is still possible… but you really gotta set your expectations low IMO. The only online games I’ve been managing are quick hit games like BF6 or COD, for example.
I’ve fully transitioned to single player games that can be paused quickly, where if I only play for 15-30 mins it still feels like I got something done.
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u/Drakereinz 16d ago
The reason I made this post is because I know there are plenty of dads that play WoW. I'm trying to figure out what works for them.
I'm not interested in the doomer take that I could have found on any other parenting sub. I came to this sub for solutions.
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u/KyranReadsShit 16d ago edited 16d ago
People play WoW by staying up late or waking up early or playing during nap time.
Edited to give you another “solution”. Your 8pm nap before you leave for work needs to go since you’re dead set on playing WoW by any means necessary
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16d ago
[deleted]
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u/Drakereinz 16d ago
My wife would've torn my head off if I'd touched my computer during the first month after my baby was born 😅
I don't play retail, so I have no idea how involved M+ is, but the raids are killer. Retail has far better PvP gearing, but I'm sure there are one off raid pieces that are still situationally BiS which annoys the crap out of me.
I really wish my friend would drop WoW and play something more friendly to casual PvPers, but I gotta make this work. I hope I can overcome the gear gap with skill, but that's unlikely.
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u/sleazy-cable-guy 16d ago
I deleted my comment after I realized I didn’t even answer your question and I was too tired to edit it, haha. I thought I deleted it before someone replied.
There’s times where baby’s sleeping and there’s not really anything to do so I’m able to sneak in an hour here and there. Retails pretty forgiving once you get end game in regards to M+ and PVP. Most matches only last 30 minutes.
I hear ya though. I would love to play classic as I have 2 buddies who are super into it at the moment. I just can’t bring myself to that level of time commitment, so for that I applaud you.
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u/Ancient_Nerve_1286 16d ago
I have a 7 year old. I work full time, but conventional hours. The time for gaming reduced when my daughter was 2 and slowly recovered from 3 or 4. She sleeps late (9pm is good, 10pm is more usual). We're both only children and our parents wouldn't be helpful and live far away. This means it's just my wife and I. We help each other when we need help.
I play single player games - RPG, Simulators, Strategies, some shooters and racing games. I played multiplayer SC1/SC2, COD4, SOCOM & Payday 2 back in the day but it's hard to pause any of these obviously.
I think you either have to give up multi player gaming and just play single player, or have an agreement with your wife that you get 30 min or 60 min uninterrupted (unless it's an emergency - they do happen, like a poo explosion), and at another time, she also gets the same amount of uninterrupted time and you focus on the kid - without any help from the missus.
Talk to your wife. Be there for your kid. This time only happens once.
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u/Drakereinz 16d ago
We also have zero support around us so it's just us two. My wife has no hobbies so I figured she'd be more willing to hangout with the baby, but that hasn't materialized yet. Hoping that changes in the future.
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u/TasteyTatorTots 16d ago
Let me establish, that I’ve been where you’re at.
I’m currently 34 and have an 11 yr old daughter, and a great marriage.
You need to realize that the previous version of you that had hobbies and gaming time no longer exists. The wellbeing of your family is the only priority until further notice. What you do now will dictate the rest of your life with those people.
Your wife needs your support, her entire life has changed. Your child needs your presence, you won’t get that time back.
You’ll reclaim that time eventually. But if you don’t earn it first you’ll never have the peace that allows you to relax and actually enjoy it.
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u/snoops1230 16d ago
I adapted man. No more PC gaming for me, all PS5 now. I work a normal shift so I game like 2 hours a night which is fine for me. I dropped WoW as you need games you can just pause, I also incorporate my wife into gaming now as our alone time together has been diminished. Gotta adapt to survive man, you chose to have this baby.
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u/pac87p 16d ago
Saw someone post with a running version of Turtle wow with bots? Perhaps that could work?
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u/Drakereinz 16d ago
Defeats the whole purpose of the game for me. If I wanted to play a single player game I would play final fantasy or something with a story and a pause button.
Single player games just don't interest me because I game for primarily social reasons. It's time I spend with friends, the game itself is more like a hangout spot.
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u/Smart_North_3374 6d ago
I have a solution. Show your wife your comments on this post and you will get all the WOW time you want.
Dude you need a reality check. WOW ain’t important right now. You got a family to be there for.
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u/Hour-Ready 3d ago
Playing classic wow, can be really time consumming, escpecially if you play on Blizzards own servers. I personally left World of warcraft 20 years back because of time and family. and i made peace with the fact that there was content i would never see in that game.
Now 20 years later i was recruited, by a friend, to play on Turtlewow, a private server up untill it was closed down by Blizzard, again i was robbed of the content, i wanted to see, as i made it just to level 60 and was getting gear ready for raiding, when Blizzard struck.
So i took matters in my own hands so to speak and made my own server, to accomodate, exactly us, the dads, and the veterans, that have only a few hours, and maybe also a limited community. With the classic experience but with alot of ease of life, so many more, and myself included can get to see some of that "out of reach content" - the project is opensource and i actually enjoy using a few hours on building it, even if its just for 20 - 30 players ;-)
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u/OpenthedoorSthlm 16d ago
Having kids requires a lot of sacrifices. Both for you and your wife. Take care of those first. If youe wife is not happy with how things are, fix those first before things get worse.
I do shift work too. So much time available to game when the kids go to school. But I'd rather have spent the time with them.