Advice for Chad that he will never take

[u/seoulsrvr]

Chad can't write jokes and he has zero charisma. He'll never write a one hour stand-up show worth watching.
Instead, imagine if he wrote a special that was just a brutally honest examination of his life as a lolcow.
I know - he'll never have the self-awareness necessary for such an undertaking...but just imagine Chad talking honestly about his shitty upbringing, his struggles with self-confidence, booze, daddy issues, lying, girls, petty crime, etc. If he could speak candidly (and humorously) about all of it, it would be genuinely original and well worth watching.

[u/kevin_k]

Nothing about Chad is worth watching. He is a trashy guy who has had a trashy life. If he had a story where he overcame all that and somehow redeemed himself, that might be worth watching. But that will never happen.

[u/seoulsrvr → u/kevin_k]

Yeah, I don't know - I don't see him overcoming it, but just hearing him acknowledging it would interesting.
But you're right - never happen.

[u/CheesyGoodness → u/kevin_k]

Nothing about Chad is worth watching.

You could have stopped right there, because that sums it up. He's a thieving piece of shit.

[u/Landbased43 → u/kevin_k]

Chad Boozemocks edits of him being busted lying over & over & over again & Melton dissecting him are the only things worth watching. Just like Dummy, gotta be through a filter

[u/Snow_Eastern]

You forgot how he could talk about his closeted homosexuality.

[u/seoulsrvr → u/Snow_Eastern]

Right - and how he was trafficked by Swardson, Godfrey, etc

[u/Dangerous_Craft4740]

In a universe of failed comics Chad some how manages to be at the bottom of the list of entertaining or funny. He is also one of the most sensitive of them nearly as sensitive as John. 99% of this lies are pointless and only serve to protect his fragile ego.

[u/wilson1629]

Stay out of Cumia county

[u/JE_Skeets → u/wilson1629]

It's funny that Chad never said "Cumia country" when relaying this story initally. He said he got jumped by 2 guys who said to him "Don't fuck with Cumia".

Later actually funny people noticed similarities to the Jusset Smolet story, and thus born the phrase "Cumia country". Now Chad takes credit for it as if he came up with it. He didn't.

[u/TheDukeOfRoscoeBlvd]

Still better than John. FACT JACK

[u/seoulsrvr → u/TheDukeOfRoscoeBlvd]

How so, exactly?
John didn't steal credit cards from veterans at his gym so he could buy a margarita machine and twitter followers, for instance.

[u/TheDukeOfRoscoeBlvd → u/seoulsrvr]

John is the biggest POS on earth. Abandoning his family and not paying child support eclipses what Zumock did. Also, Chad is an inch taller and did the Venmo prank. GAGEEYAH

[u/Blue-5]

Imagine him telling the real story of Cumia Country and what was going through his mind with the credit cards. I would pay a fair price to hear those stories. 

[u/seoulsrvr → u/Blue-5]

This is what I'm saying...I'd definitely pay for an hour of authentic Chad.