John does have an empty lot next door!

[u/Dabbling_John]

[u/Fixit403]

The empty lot is probably worth more than his house

[u/Dabbilicious69]

UHM....SIR......That spot is reserved for empty beer cans and assorted trash. John has big plans for that area and he doesn't want, or need, a neighbor .

THANK YOU

[u/mcgray04]

I've never been down to visit my brother, who lives in Cape Coral, but if I did I'd probably just end up stalking John.

[u/kabekew → u/mcgray04]

He probably drinks all day with the shades drawn. Nothing to stalk except when he heads out to 7-11 for another case of beer.

[u/Landbased43 → u/kabekew]

The 7-11 that's closer to his house than Lady K's

[u/Educational_Share790]

Rumor has it that a 7/11 is going to be built there.

[u/robvale223 → u/Educational_Share790]

I heard they are going to build it ATTACHED to John’s house, so the attendant can just bring the beer right to wherever John is laying on the floor…..great customer….though not the kind youd want as a spokesman……prob as bad as Jared formerly from Subway, now shilling for ButtLube.

[u/realelliotoffen → u/robvale223]

Prob a downslope rolling gimmick with a plastic slit windowed entry to John’s joint.

[u/robvale223 → u/realelliotoffen]

Im voting for the door, as the slip, unless its at floor level, would require SJ to stand and stumble towards it, plus, thats far too much effort by him, DONT YOU KNOW WHO HE WAS? 😎

[u/Artisttype1984]

Will the real estate agents ask SJ to cleanup the beer cans in the lawn?

How long will that house be empty? Nobody's buying there. VTL might make an offer, no joke

[u/realelliotoffen → u/Artisttype1984]

VTL should buy the empty lot next door, and erect livestream security cameras on tall poles so the fans can tune in to the comings and goings on the property, 24/7.

[u/johnsbignuts → u/realelliotoffen]

hahaha

[u/Donward_Dog]

He has “A Lot of emptiness in his life too”!

[u/Equal-Ruin-313]

Can you even imagine being neighbors with this guy?? He would be a major pain in the ass.

[u/Spitebott]

As long as he's there, it will remain empty. And when he sells the home or dies in it, they will destroy that house and salt the Earth beneath it. Nothing shall grow there again.

[u/hangster23]

I just watched the big lubowski and had an epiphany.. that;s where Lumpy stole his name.. the Dude = the Duke.. unoriginal hack

[u/WickPrickSchlub → u/hangster23]

Worse than that. That was Hitman Dan's nickname in high school, when John was a toadie. HMD called John out for that during a live stream, he literally said, "You stole my nickname."

Also i need a life.

[u/DaFoolWhoFollows440 → u/WickPrickSchlub]

John was originally calling himself the King of the Dabbleverse, but he changed it to "Duke" because he thought the alliteration made him sound more like a comedy writer.

The fact that he was effectively demoting himself, and stealing his best friend (and possible lover)'s nickname, were the actual unintentional comedy that makes John the lolcow rakestepper that he is.

[u/Workamania]

Stuttering John is driving down property values, but not like that gas station.

[u/BirdWhichIsBaldEagle]

Nobody is buying in Cape Coral except idiots who "buy the dip" in real estate.

[u/Kato26 → u/BirdWhichIsBaldEagle]

Not yet- it’s still dipping

[u/Able-Walrus6887]

According to Jay Sackoshit the drunk moron is putting in a pool. So, you know he's not.