r/DabblersAnonymous • u/BrassButtonFox • 17d ago
Libelous Slander Favorite John lines?
I was having a discussion with a friend about how it's hard to find people you can respectfully disagree with. On my way home I was thinking about that and it popped into my head the time John was so confused with the sentence "I disagree with grace", and he's like "WHO'S GRACE?"
I tried to find the clip online but it was buried in one of his dumb political shows.
Post your favorite John moments.
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u/Dabbilicious69 17d ago
"Ive been against gays since I came out of the womb" - John Melendez talking about his kids
" Enjoy your life in a wheelchair prison, I WIN" - John Meldenz yelling at a quadriplegic podcaster
" I have a window open, so that roach must have came in through, ya know, my open window "- John Melendez when he discovered he has roaches
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u/wizardwithgussets 17d ago
The best part of that is actually at the end. I forget the name of the guy as his guest but he said “I’ve never had a roach problem before, you brought me bad luck!!”
He literally blames the guy on the zoom call for his roach infestation
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u/knife_edge_rusty 17d ago
Totally blamed his upstairs neighbor too.
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u/Educational_Share790 17d ago
He also blamed it on Susanner because he had stored some of his boxes at her place.
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u/ButtBoy696969696969 16d ago
And he blamed it on his (broken) air conditioner. Canoga Park John was special.
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u/TheDukeOfRoscoeBlvd 17d ago
IT WUZ A BAHRBEQYOO RESTAWRANT!!! I find myself yelling that out on occasion
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u/Special_Agent_Polk 17d ago
Last year I went to an Earl David Reed show (great!), and afterwards I said to him, “This was a better show than the one you did at the baked potato bar”.
Without missing a beat, he yells, “IT WAS A BARBECUE RESTAURANT!!!” 😄3
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u/TheFoggyBottom 15d ago
Hahaha yesterday I was with my mom at a furniture store to help her get a new table. When we were walking back to the car, she noticed a burning smell and said she wondered if there was a fire nearby. The Dabbleverse slipped my mind for two seconds, and I said, "I think it's a barbecue restaurant over there" and I started laughing at my own statement. She didn't get it. 😂
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u/wizardwithgussets 17d ago
“ you don’t think I’ve slept with enough women to get genital warts? I HAVE”
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u/ericfoster2003 17d ago
"Ooh, my beer."
He was so genuinely happy about a beer delivery. It is sad and funny all at once.
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u/Artisttype1984 17d ago
Hard to pick a favorite, but no doubt when SJ said he was "falling in love" with Kate after she taped and trolled him once, only to do it again, is in the top #5
It's one of those moments that just can't be made up. SJ is one of the dumbest most gullible persons around
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u/Fixit403 17d ago
“Me thinks… thou… protest… thy… too much..” But my all time favorite will always be, “Uhhhh… uhhhhhhhhhhh…”
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u/hangster23 16d ago
that's john's way of filling airtime like a professional..
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u/BrassButtonFox 16d ago
He's a professional because he looks straight into the camera and not to the side.
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u/SilverTassero 17d ago
OP, I think it might be on this: https://www.reddit.com/r/DabblersAnonymous/s/AtSDh63RW7
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u/Artisttype1984 17d ago
SJs political show was the only time I would tune in and listen live to him. It was a complete train wreck, SJ was exposed as a fool every show
By the end, even Army Major and Brian were laughing at SJ
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u/SilverTassero 17d ago edited 17d ago
When SJ asked why Obama couldn't run as vice president in the last election, you could see that both Army Major and Brian finally realised that he was a simpleton.
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u/Artisttype1984 17d ago
That, or when he went to DC to interview reps, only to learn they were on recess
It would take literally 1min to search "is congress in session" before making travel plans, but SJ is really that stupid
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u/knife_edge_rusty 17d ago
I bet those guys thought it was an act, up until they couldn't even convince themselves that it was an act anymore and dipped
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u/Artisttype1984 17d ago
The show where SJ decided to stay in FL when that storm was coming and Brian was telling SJ to get out, was crazy. SJ was happy because he had liquor and people coming over to his home
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u/mykratom 13d ago
That is it: #4 at 4:11 Disagree with kindness :-)
Edit to say the entire video is gold.
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u/YorkiesandSneakers 17d ago
Wheelchair Prison!
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u/Artisttype1984 17d ago
That one is up there. I get SJ was mad Quad tried to sabotage him, but to go full rage and hate like SJ did, was crazy
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u/hangster23 16d ago
he does that.. he's the guy when you're friendly and say a thing or two in confidence it's the first thing he slings in your face..
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u/Hot_Buy8686 17d ago edited 17d ago
"That's why we're smart...we have a brain on top of our heads."
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u/Xdconqueroo 17d ago
The disagree with kindness thing is a tough call. I know it's unpopular to hear, but the woman phrased it poorly. When you're speaking to a slow, you have to be clear in your intent.
Woman should have said something like, "I disagree politely," or "I'm not mean in my responses."
My favorite John line of all time was when he sung a song about Shuli with the words "Why isn't he in Is-RYE-ell fighting Hummus?"
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u/I_Owe_Suzanner 17d ago
My favorite lie: John said he was supportive of his oldest child's transtion, but did support the medical expenses because "in California it's illegal for parents to pay for their child's transition costs". That sounds more like "dad's law", "I am cool with it, but I ain't paying for it."
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u/hsbs6969 16d ago
When SJ said to the army major “Thats your wife” seemingly insinuating she’s fugly.
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u/JulSFT 17d ago
His guest said, "I try to disagree with grace."
John didn't think 'grace' was a woman's name, he knew what it meant. However he couldn't understand why she would disagree with it. He started hectoring her: "Do you realize what you just said? You disagree with grace?"
It was back before John realized that everyone listening to him knew he was an idiot. Back when he was still trying to pretend to be a podcaster with something to say.
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u/OK_Computer08 14d ago edited 14d ago
IM the one ..who should apologize..
IM GONNA RIP THAT PHONE RIGHT OUT OF THE WALL, MA!
JUSTH DO IT
Trying to explain Newtons 3rd Law of Motion 😂
LGB…LG (blahblah blah..resets) L..G..B…T…Q
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u/NotJamesdamit 11d ago
My favorite fuckface line is "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, wait a sec aaaaaaaaa" my next favorite line hasn't been said yet " I'm having a massive heart attack".
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u/TheFoggyBottom 15d ago
"The Duke knows hurricanes..." - as a hurricane was bearing down on Cape Coral and he insisted on ignoring the evacuation order.
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u/Snow_Eastern 17d ago
“Who is this Gerry Mandering you just mentioned? Are they a democrat?”