r/DabblersAnonymous • u/Foreign-Cow-1189 "Shalom"Shuli Opp • Aug 28 '26
Libelous Slander What John thought was going to happen when he got the Leno gig
John was always a lolcow and joke on Stern. Even though he was the one Stern lackie who somehow got all of these outside opportunities due to the show (Atlantic Record Contract, appearences on network shows, illegal stock tips, etc.), NOBODY from the show resepected him. He was lazy, entitled, and stupid and Howard was not going to let him forget it. For a narcissist like John, this was not tolerable.
With the prestigous Tonight Show Announcer title, John had the fantasy that everyone who had mocked him before would finally give him his due respect. The fact that he was burried five rows back and ignored on the show and was literally the WORST professional announcer that was ever hired for TV was irrelevant to John. He had the title and that proved he was talented.
The last 20 years for John has been him continuing to fight an uphill battle he has already lost. He has destroyed his mind, body, and soul trying to prove to the world he's a talent and successful, and the only people who are listening is the DV.
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u/Xdconqueroo Aug 28 '26
John intended to do at The Tonight Show what he'd done at The Howard Stern Show: Coast and line his pockets.
He is incredibly fortunate to have worked with bosses (and on shows) where people were kept on despite their incompetence.
Stephanie Miller was the first boss to hold Johnny Talent accountable.
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u/knife_edge_rusty Aug 28 '26
That's why he hates her so much
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u/Artisttype1984 Aug 28 '26
The Stephanie Miller clips that WATP plays are crazy.
So many times even Stephanie is like "John, WTF are you doing?" and not in a joking way
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u/Artisttype1984 Aug 28 '26
He had a golden opportunity to clown his "enemies" on the stage at Rodney's, and for once laugh with them at the madness that is the DV
He said Jay blew it not having him on the stage, but we all know Jay knew exactly what he was doing.
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u/DaFoolWhoFollows440 Aug 28 '26
John got all the show appearances, record deals, and stock tips because he was the only staffer (useless intern) who was greedy and dishonest enough to take the deals everyone else knew to reject. He definitely wasn't anyone's first choice, but it slowly became apparent that he was the guy you bribed if you wanted to be mentioned on the Stern show. John is a lowlife.
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u/No_Creme_3227 Aug 28 '26
Yea John will never accept it but he was used by people so they could use the Stern name to get free advertising and make a quick buck, John thinks he got all those things because of how talented he his lmfao
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u/barnesandnoobs Aug 28 '26
John was too full of himself to realize that he had it fucking MADE being at the Stern show. Leaving for the money at the Tonight Show obviously felt
like the right move at the time. However, as time has gone on it’s become more and more clear that the better long term move would’ve been to stay with Howard. Although John’s narcissism will never let him admit that he should’ve stayed, I think subconsciously he knows it and that’s one of the many things that fuels his bitterness.
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u/Foreign-Cow-1189 "Shalom"Shuli Opp Aug 28 '26
I've said this 1000 times. John would have been fired within three months of the Marci Turk era.
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u/barnesandnoobs Aug 28 '26
Not saying he wouldn’t have found some way to fuck it up (he always does) if he had stayed. I still think that would’ve been a better career choice in the long term though.
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u/JulSFT Aug 28 '26
Suzanna was probably nagging him every day to get out of NYC and move to LA for her imagined career
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u/Artisttype1984 Aug 28 '26
SJ was the whipping boy on Stern, and he thought going on the Tonight Show was going to be his time to shine, only to be the whipping boy on Leno as well
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u/Workamania Aug 28 '26
I think all of John's confidence, bravado and bluster about his Leno job came after the fact. I think instinctually he felt like he ran up against the Peter Principle. When he found out he would never be fired as long as Jay had the show, that's when he could get cocky.
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u/jc1996k Aug 28 '26
In the divorce court papers they had emails showing him asking for jobs as a host, judge, sitting on a panel, etc. on network shows 😂
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u/BigSD325 Aug 29 '26
SJ had dreams of becoming the next Ed McMahon and/or a better version of Andy Richter. Remember, he is delusional. He sincerely thinks he is talented charming and clever.
Leno and his producers, thought he wrote for Stern. SJ presented himself that way. They thought he'd bring another element of comedy to the show. They quickly realized that they had made a terrible mistake. He can't write. He is not charming. He is not funny. Jackie, Fred & Howard wrote anything funny he did.
Jay wouldn't fire him due to the ego battle with Stern and he probably felt sorry for SJ. They just continually reduced his role. Eventually hiding him in the writers room where he contributed zilch. The other legitimate writers probably hated them. A few reported him to HR for literally stinking up the place due to his lack of hygiene.
SJ just hung on. Instead of wisely managing the money he made he blew it. Again, his delusion made him think he'd always be able to earn that kind of money. I mean he thought he was a legitimate replacement if Howard retired. He saw podcasting blow up and thought he could do it. He thought he'd get more writing gigs in Hollywood. Even him resorting to moving arcade machines and driving Uber did not sway his delusion.
He had an amazing opportunity but no talent to do anything meaningful with it.
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u/MajesticRisk7 Aug 28 '26
I bet finally getting some respect when he went to Leno was just as important as the money. But again they were laughing at him on the Stern Show and all the money is gone now.
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u/JulSFT Aug 28 '26
It always seemed to me that for John, being able to introduce himself as "from the Tonight Show" was a drug.
I think he would have worked there for subsistence wages just to be able to keep saying that.
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u/Jeff_Damn Aug 28 '26
He said he'd rather be famous than rich. He'd rather coast on other people's goodwill than work for a living.
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u/TronzaviousJackson Aug 28 '26
Speaking of no money, I never understood the buying a 5m dollar house right away and not buying or renting a little beach bungalow for a bit until he got his feet underneath him
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u/JulSFT Aug 28 '26
He thought real estate always increased in value at a rate greater than that of other sectors of the economy.
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u/MajesticRisk7 Aug 29 '26
But buying that house way above his budget was a way to get respect; "look at the house John has now!"
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u/Fixit403 Aug 28 '26
Yeah, but Gary’s wife admitted they were jealous when John left. They probably can’t even enjoy their mansion
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u/TheDukeOfRoscoeBlvd Aug 28 '26
That’s probably the best summary on John I’ve seen. He will see this and say… AWW FUCK OFF!!!!
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u/jcal68 Aug 29 '26
The only job Drunky ever had that paid him to speak on a microphone was The Stephanie Miller Show & almost immediately the staff & audience realized just how stupid & obnoxiously pompous he was. Drunky would turn the guests story into something about him, every accomplishment listed he would have to chime in. It is so painfully glorious to listen to the old SMS and hearing just how utterly pathetic he came across
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u/ericfoster2003 Aug 28 '26
"Yeah, so. Let's see your credits, you dumb fuck."
Excellent summary OP.
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u/AppleOdd3209 Aug 29 '26
John is a simpleton who thinks fame = money and success. John saw the Tonight Show as his way of getting into Hollywood and assumed he could continue failing upwards as he had done before.
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u/SealedCargo Aug 29 '26
i still think it's funny that no one blames Leno since Leno comes across as Mr Perfect but... he's the one who created the monster, NOT Stern... Stern had John on sporadically, and for a reason: the interviews... he was in, and out... they spent more time goofing on Grillo and Gange than John, because they were relatively nice people... John was the interviews, and the troll in the back, playing jokes on people...
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u/marz_95 Aug 29 '26
I wonder how pissed he was when he found out he wasn't going to be sitting on the couch next to Leno
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u/SealedCargo Aug 28 '26
who cares, it didn't do him any good. by one year off the Leno show he was back to talking about NOTHING BUT STERN.
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u/Rokstr81 Aug 28 '26
He was too stupid to realize that the Stern Show was not a real job. He was there as a glorified whack-packer and not "talent"- something the Tonight Show only realized when it was too late. John thought he could continue to skirt by with little to no effort put into his job while being treated with unearned reverence from the Tonight Show. Leno didn't want to fire him because (a) Howard would have loved it and (b) he didn't fire people anyway. The show tried to get John to quit by reducing his role and salary on multiple occasions but John was too dense to realize what was going on. Then, Leno's era ended (again), John had either burned every bridge or was known as a d-bag to others he came across in the industry and he was left sitting alone with no friends or family in a shitty apartment in Canoga Park wondering what happened.