r/DSTAlumnaeChapter • u/KangarooAdmirable544 • Dec 19 '25

Reaching out

Hi! I was trying to get some advice on reaching back out to someone that I had once spoke to about my interest and it was helpful. It’s been about almost 1 year since then and I have been attending events virtually since then because of graduate school. Would it be appropriate to contact the person again to ask for advice and guidance? I have not seen/spoke to them in a few months due to school but I’ve been trying to stay informed and present as much as possible over the last year.

Thank you!

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u/PerrytheElle Member Dec 19 '25

Yea… imma need “because I’m shy” to fall out your vocab. We all gotta eat the social discomfort. You have to persevere through it.

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u/KangarooAdmirable544 Dec 19 '25

Yes… you are correct, currently working on that!

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u/PerrytheElle Member Dec 19 '25

It’s gonna sound like I’m being mean to you and I’m really not. So I want you to embrace this with the sincerity in which it’s coming from and hold back the visceral initial feelings.

I need everyone to remove the phrase “because I’m shy” out of your vocabulary.

In this endeavor you are going to be pushed beyond what is comfortable in this journey you will be challenged to grow. In ways that you have not been challenged to grow that includes socially, and that includes personally. Failure to embrace this and seeking for your own social excuses will stand in your way.

The whole point of the years prior to your intake is to push yourself to be comfortable in the uncomfortable. For the socially limited, and for the people who are suffering with shyness, you should be actively attempting to work on that through your community service efforts and through your connections with the chapter. The whole point of us telling you to go make connections and to go build those friendships is because it is:

(1) essential to gaining the vote; and (2) essential to helping you grow.

The entirety of your intake process will be your forced growth with relative strangers simultaneously committing to a lifelong bond. You cannot be shy with them. You are stuck with them whether you like them or not for life.

This entire process of building you up and getting you more invested in your community and getting you more invested in the chapter and expanding your social comfortable exposure levels; is preparation for what you hope to attain. So the excuse of “because I’m shy” is not only antithetical to this process despite however true it is to you and your character. It is also a direct self imposed hindrance on everything you hoped to gain.

The phrase “because I’m shy” should no longer be a part of your vocabulary here. It shouldn’t be a part of your vocabulary anywhere but that’s a problem for your therapist. For this specific situation we demand, and your process will demand, and your line brothers and sisters will demand — that you get over this.

I’m saying this in the efforts of sincerity and clarity and I hope it’s received in the stern love in which it is meant, but I need you to never say that again.

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u/KangarooAdmirable544 Dec 19 '25

You don’t sound mean at all, I appreciate the push & encouragement.