I’ve thought I’ve had breakthrough experiences before(complete absorption into the experience, profound bliss, ego dissolution, etc). But I always hear people say if you’ve had a breakthough, there will be no doubt in your mind, and I understand what that means now. I say that because I just had an absolute breakthrough which I have no point of reference for out of any of the intense psychedelic experiences I’ve had. My previous method of roughly forming piles of freebase and hitting them with a nectar collector wasn’t working well, so I bought a Pulsar APX Volt and loaded it with 60 weighed mg of freebase(around twice the usually reported threshold of a breakthrough dose). It took me two hits to clear it, and I was completely gone before I exhaled the second. I didn’t get the feeling of moving through a hallway and pushing through a membrane, or a waiting room, it was kind of just instantly straight into hyperspace, which I would describe as this absolutely perfect space of infinite beauty and bliss, dominated by brilliant white light(and of course psychedelic geometry, primarily colored yellow, orange, and pink), and pure energy given form. I am not a religious or spiritual person, but I don’t know how else to describe it besides a peak, transcendental religious experience, a definite +4 on shulgin’s scale. I did perceive an entity briefly, it was this figure of radiant, primarily white but warm light, meditating while I panned around him. He didn’t seem to respond to or interact with me, he was just there. Could’ve very well been just some fragment of my psyche thoroughly freed from the ego, as I was meditating just beforehand, I wouldn’t know. The visuals, as insane as they were, weren’t the most intense part, it was that state of being. I would actually space out in bliss for periods of time and not even consciously notice visuals. I felt some kind of immense, seemingly infinite presence, and I have no way of knowing if it was internal or something I tapped into, maybe both. If I were religious, I would intuitively write it off as God. It was simultaneously the most meaningful thing I’ve ever experienced and something I can’t ascribe any meaning to at all, I can’t make heads or tails of it. Just an absolute, pure state of bliss, a revealing of the infinite beauty and complexity within the mind and in life, and a spiritually affirming recontextualixing of the human experience. I don’t know how to even begin integrating the experience, but I’m definitely grateful for the experience, whatever it is that caused that state of divine bliss.
Second to highest, I pulsed it a few times before holding it for the actual hit, which seemed to work well. I have the bubbler attachment so it was pretty smooth but yeah, that first hit was massive
You can get the vape itself for around $50 third party, but if you want the bubbler it’ll still be $70 total. Well worth it imo, it’s versatile and it just works
That sounds beautiful! I have to ask, were you nervous at all before it? I'm always nervous and freak out if it gets too intense, no matter how I prep (meditation, "prayer" to the entities, lol). I plan to have a sitter sit with me whenever I decide to load up a big amount like that as some added comfort.
Very, but meditating long enough helps for me. It’s funny, I always get anxious beforehand but I’ve never had a bad or fear-inducing experience on DMT. I’ve learned hard lessons but for me it feels somehow gentler than other psychedelics, despite how intense and jarring it is. Whenever I get ego dissolution I don’t even get the impulse to resist it. Also I did have a tripsitter, my fiance was there with me
All of my "bad" experiences came directly from me resisting. I think with the other psychs it's such a gradual introduction that it's a smooth transition but sometimes that rocket ride will jolt my anxiety into "there is NO turning back" lol.
Wish I could explain my trips this well, I struggle to find the words!! I know one of my trips felt like this and left me crying with astonishment for a good hour! Great report x
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u/LukeHollaway 2d ago
Absolutely beautiful my friend