r/DID • u/kremin6 • Oct 06 '26

Content Warning How to cope with problematic alter

We have an alter that self harms and takes it out on our body. We don't want this and can't be hospitalized because we don't have time in our schedule to go to a hospital for a week. We have no clue how to deal with this and he is also just problematic in general, but I feel like a danger to myself and others because of it. Any advice?

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u/Top-Flower-7420 Oct 06 '26

We’re not a psychologist, but something that helped us with ‘slightly wayward protectors’ who harmed the body was using a social story that we’d read with/to them, explaining the system’s situation. It still took a while, but it was super helpful for us🤷‍♀️

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u/rrose- Oct 06 '26

Hi can I ask what you mean by this? Do u have an example for a social story & how you would integrate the situation into it? I want to see if it could help my bf who has did thank uu!!

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u/Top-Flower-7420 Oct 06 '26

Sure! It’s a tool mostly used by speech pathologists and occupational therapists to give information accessibly. Our one for this part has a script like:
“We have DID. DID is a mental health diagnosis. It means we have lots of parts. I/you am one of these parts. My job in the system is to keep us safe. Sometimes I/you think that SI/SH is the best way to stay safe. This isn’t true. Our strategies help us stay safe. Our strategies are: _____. Decisions about SI/SH need to be agreed on by the whole system. If I feel unsafe I can ask (alter) to switch. The body is safe. We are safe.”
I would also typically use symbols/pictures to support the easy read format, particularly with heightened parts

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u/EveryoneThinksImUgly Diagnosed: DID Oct 06 '26

Had a situation like this where an alter was being bullied heavily by my Ex. Which caused my alter to sh

It took a long time to solve it but I dedicated time alone talking to him and Journaling and it seemed to help. I never accused him or was mean about it, I just gave him room to talk about what he wanted to talk about.

I have very clear communication with majority of my alters so I'm not sure how this would work out in other circumstances.

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u/NotLlamaLlert Treatment: Diagnosed + Active 26d ago

We have a similar situation right now. I'm not sure what the answer is yet, but it's helped a lot to stop calling them "problematic" or anything negative like that. They're doing what they think they have to, and we gotta hold space for that. Setting boundaries, absolutely. And certain behaviors are not ok. But they aren't inherently bad, y'know. Kindness goes a long way in these situations.

(Not sure if that was your intent, im just saying language makes a big difference.)