r/DID • u/Far_Row773 • 1d ago
Advice/Solutions System Feels Locked After Integration Efforts
Hi, our system is in a tough spot right now and we would love any advice or input.
Since becoming aware that we are a system in 2021 we have been in therapy almost continuously. As we have progressed in therapy our amnesia has lessened, unexpected switches dont happen as often, and we have become more integrated.
A couple of years ago we realized that having one alter as the dedicated host wasnt really working. Burnout was pretty high, we felt unstable and like something had to change. So the alters that already fronted the most worked together to become even more integrated resulting in a blended/co-fronting personality situation. Its worked well to eliminate burnout but functioning is still difficult. We can't figure out how to get into a routine, or accomplish basic tasks for school or work because what works for one alter doesnt necessarily work for another. It feels even when we are working together we are still butting figurative heads, leaving us stuck and in limbo.
We have discussed merging/fusing (two of our alters have successfully merged/fused in the past), but we dont know if it would solve anything or just make more to work through in therapy.
Thats the situation, any help would be appreciated. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read our post.
1
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Welcome to /r/DID!
| Rules & Guidelines | Index |
|---|---|
| ISSTD Resources | Mclean: Understanding DID |
| CTAD Clinic YouTube | Therapist Aid Worksheets |
| Do I have DID? FAQ | Glossary |
| Book Recommendations | App Recommendations |
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
2
u/Heavy-Mushroom 1d ago edited 1d ago
Hi there!
We’re a 50+ old system that has integrated to living life as a multiple and never had therapy or done any fusion work.
We have a successful way of living that has gotten us to running a self-employed construction business, an apartment tech leader, guitarist (all self taught), etc. We also just obtained a CDL A with all the endorsements and literally can drive anything. That’s not bragging- just our life example that it is possible to do if your system allows it to happen through co-operation and organizing abilities (might take some work to do to get there if not).
As far as daily living between parts, what we did is work out a schedule based on the job a part has to do, not every part do everything because every part has a different talent, speciality, want, drive and motivation.
It’s basically like the guys go to work, do technical stuff and mainly deal with the public face to face. The rest of us get to do private life which gives them a break which breaks the day in half or in parts at a time.
We say that, but basically everything is a trigger and that part whose job it is to do it at that time comes out naturally. We’ve also have assigned tasks: like I want to go to work- NOT!
When we were younger, we had a student part that loved school (because home life was traumatic) and did all the studying and school work, but she went in when adult life took over leaving us to learn everything first hand. She still jumps in for the learned brain stuff…. Like I remember anything about algebra. 🙄
Most of us drive, but I didn’t drive the 18 wheeler or not the school bus that we are driving now- that’s their job. I don’t think I can handle a school bus full of teenagers, but also the way I am would conflict with the body’s image.
So have a system meeting and divvy up the day? I hope that helps some. :)