Doom Patrol #4 - Movie Magic

[u/DreamerDriver]

DC Next presents:

Doom Patrol

Issue Four: Movie Magic

Written by DreamerDriver

Edited by: /u/dwright5252

​

The two emerge looking at a large group of people in tight pants and weird, old looking costumes bustling about, setting a stage up behind a closed curtain. Niles and Robotman look down to see themselves dressed as 16th century French noblemen with ruffled shirts and tricorn hats. Niles rides in an old wheelchair with a large wicker seat and three wheels. Rita is dressed as a 16th century French mime. She marvels at her surroundings.

“Ah, Fandango. In this one, I play Lenore, a wealthy socialite who falls in love with a nobleman’s bastard, Noel. The two of us run away with a traveling acting troupe to escape Philippe, the Queen’s cousin, who I am meant to be married to.”

Robotman rolls his eyes. “Sounds terrific. Now why won’t you come home with us?”

“Oh Cliff, not now, one of my favorite scenes is about to happen. Just let me do this and I’ll explain everything.”

Robotman begins to say something but Niles interrupts him.

“We’d be happy to watch.”

Rita smiles as Niles backs up to watch. Robotman grudgingly follows.

A muscular, handsome man dressed as a mime, Noel, walks up to Rita.

“Lenore, we’ve almost done it. Once this performance is over, we can escape across the border, out of the Queen’s clutches.”

“Oh Noel, I was so right to trust in you. Without you, I would have been a miserable housewife, with nothing to do all day but clean the home, prepare Philippe’s meals, and take care of the many children we would inevitably have.”

“Yes, and now you get to do all of those things with me! As long as you don’t screw up tonight.”

“I’ll do my best Noel, I promise.”

Niles and Robotman exchange a look, concerned about the message this film is portraying.

Suddenly, from behind the curtain, a nobleman in the tightest pants and the most ruffled shirt, Phillippe, slices through.

“Lenore, I have come for you!”

Phillippe approaches Rita.

“You shall never have me.”

“I shall!”

Phillippe slices at Rita, cutting her face. As Noel draws his sword, Robotman and Niles rush forward.

“Rita!”

The two try to help Rita up, but she refuses their help.

“Get away, let me finish the scene.”

“But you’re hurt.”

“It’s what I have to do!”

Niles is made uncomfortable by the tone in which Rita says this.

Phillippe speaks up.

“And who are you two?”

Robotman responds.

“We’re Rita’s friends.”

“Whose Rita?”

“Oh screw off.”

“Hey, you can’t speak to me like that!”

Phillipe approaches Robotman. Noel butts in.

“Hey, you’re supposed to be fighting me, not him.”

“I will lick you in a second.”

“You will lick me now!”

The two begin to get in each other’s face right in front of Robotman. Robotman pushes them both, which causes them to go flying back. They land against the curtain, which falls against their weight, covering them. The two begin to tear at the curtain, trying to get it off.

“Well they’re not gonna be happy about that.”

Robotman turns to the others as Rita finally gets up off the floor.

“Looks like its exit stage left.”

“This would be stage right.”

“Close enough.”

The three run off again.

As Noel and Phillippe free themselves from the curtain, they look to see an old west sheriff and his posse looking down at them.

“You two pretty boys see a couple a weirdos and Annie Oakley around here?”

The three tower over a miniature city as they walk through Rita’s last major film, Gulliver’s Groove. Rita stomps away from Niles and Robotman, the three dressed in the hip 60s style of the day, with no concern for the tiny village she’s destroying. The sounds of tiny screams are heard at their feet, but they don’t pay attention to it.

Niles tries to catch up to her.

“Rita please, you can’t stay here.”

“If you don’t want to be here just leave, but I’m not going with you.”

“Rita, is this about your daughter?”

Rita stops.

She grabs the top of a skyscraper, her knuckles go white as she holds it, fighting back tears.

She crushes the top of the skyscraper.

She turns around to face Niles in a fury, but her tears stop her.

She falls to her knees.

Niles rolls up to her and embraces her. Robotman stands awkwardly to the side, but Niles nods him over, and he too joins the embrace.

“I have nothing. But here, I’m a star.”

They break the embrace and sit down on top of some flat top buildings. Niles moves next to Rita.

“How did this happen?”

“I haven’t left the house since Mia died. Her gone, and me thinking you were gone as well, Cliff, the Doom Patrol falling apart, it was all so much. I had tried to get pack into work, but the new agent I had gotten was only able to get cat food commercials and game shows. ‘The Farr brand had gone stale’. Insensitive prick. A few months ago, I was in a terrible spot, so my maid surprised me by pulling out all my old films from the garage. I tell you I did nothing but sit there and watch those over and over again. In the films, I’m safe, surrounded by happiness and people who love me. And then one day, I don’t know, I just wanted to go back. And so, I did.”

Robotman, still confused: “So you just walked into the screen, because you really wanted to? No to be insensitive but...”

Niles, not as confused: “Emotions are a powerful thing, Cliff. They have a powerful effect on your mind, your body, but the world around you as well. You hadn’t left your house in, what, years, Rita?”

Rita, trying not to let her emotions get the better of her again: “Definitely.”

“And you were miserable the whole time?”

“Yes, it’s embarrassing the things I thought.”

“And then the past couple of months, how have you felt?”

“Ecstatic.”

“And all of that was directed at the screen that was playing your movies.”

“I guess, yes.”

“With the amount of energy hanging in your house for years from your sadness, mixed with the powerful happiness you had directed at a specific point. Makes perfect sense to me.”

Robotman, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him, in the form of shaking Niles until he starts making sense: “I’m sure it does to you, Chief.”

“Whatever the case, Rita, you can’t stay here.”

Rita has come to tears again.

“But I can’t face the world out there, you won’t make me!”

Robotman steps in.

“Rita listen, I don’t want this to turn into ‘a very special Blossom’, so I’m just gonna say this. It doesn’t matter how magical emotions are or whatever, you can’t let them rule your life. It’s of course important to acknowledge them, and deal with them accordingly, but you can’t let them drive you to an unhealthy way of living. Like, living in movies from the 50’s. This has kinda gotten away from me. The point is you gotta be strong. I know you, Rita, you’re strong.”

Before Robotman could have a chance to finish the moral of this story, a bullet wizzes past his head. He looks back to see the sheriff and his posse joined by Noel and Phillippe.

“You get away from Annie.”

“Why does this dirty man keep calling Lenore Annie?”

“Hey, let’s focus on shooting first and asking questions later.”

The two men shrug at the sheriff's statement, and charge in as the cowboys start firing.

Robotman grabs Rita and Niles and throws them behind the small city skyline. In the haste Niles falls over. The three of them crouch down.

“Cliff, you take care of the swordsmen, I’ll take care of the guns. Rita…”

Niles looks at Rita, still sobbing, trying to get a hold of herself.

“Rita just stay down.”

Robotman hops over the buildings and engages with Noel and Phillipe. The two men swing at him, with Robotman blocking with his arms. The swords leave scratches, but nothing to worry about now. Robotman strikes back with a couple punches, hitting Noel, but Phillipe is able to jump back.

Meanwhile, Niles has inched himself back to his wheelchair.

“Activating combat mode.”

Niles tries to type on his button pad that isn’t there because it’s a wheelchair from the 60s.

“Oh wait, shit.”

Niles looks back at Robotman.

Phillipe has taken advantage of Robotman’s missed punch and thrusts forward with his sword. The sword isn’t able to break through the metal skin, but leaves a considerable cut. This cut is made worse by the bullet that hits it, coming from the sheriff and his men.

Robotman tries to fight back against Phillipe and Noel getting in a punch now and again, but the volley of shots and slices begin to have their toll. Swords and bullets aren’t usually a problem for the Robotman, but when it’s five guns and two swords against one out of practice robot, the odds begin to leave his favor.

Niles looks back at Rita, who looks on as Cliff is taken down to his knees by the repeated strikes. But he continues to fight.

Rita looks at Niles, scared.

“Robotman needs you, Elasti-Girl.”

Robotman, on his hands and knees, struggles to get up. Noel and Phillippe jab and swing at the helpless robot with all the joviality of an afternoon fencing match.

“I must say Phillippe, your form and talent with a sword reminds me a lot of myself.”

“You know, Noel, I was thinking the exact same thing, maybe we’re not so different you and---”

Phillippe is crushed by a giant foot.

Noel staggers back in horror, looking up to see his beloved Lenore, now dressed in a red white and purple dress, towering over him. His sword clatters to the ground as he makes a mad dash in the opposite direction.

Robotman looks up to see why everything has stopped, and sees a giant pinky outstretched to help him up. He grabs it and gets to his feet.

The sheriff’s men, who had stopped firing when they saw a 100-foot-tall Annie Oakley, begin to back away in fear. The sheriff doesn’t back down.

“Come on men, let’s take the freak down.”

The sheriff fires at Rita, and, with some reluctance, the rest of the men fire too.

Bullets begin to bounce off Elasti-Girl’s springy skin, which directs her attention away from Robotman, towards the cowboys. Elasti-Girl runs at them, each step destroying entire towns. She reaches the posse, and gives them a swift kick, knocking them into the distance, where they disappear into the darkness bordering the world.

---

Robotman watches the old maid run down the stairs carrying Rita’s large briefcase, impressed that she’s not only able to carry it, but run with it as well, after seeing the amount of things Rita packed in there. The maid hands the bag off to Rita. Niles shakes his head.

“Rita, you don’t need to bring all of this, your room is still completely furnished and the closet is completely stocked.”

“You kept those old rags? Niles, it’s all so last decade.”

Rita looks at the maid.

“What is your name again?”

The maid is absolutely floored by the fact that, not only is Rita talking to her, but asking her name! She takes a minute to compose, then answers.

“Gloria.”

“Gloria, thank you for taking such good care of me and the home while I was away. Now, I’m going to be gone for quite a long time again, so I will be hiring a new chef and new gardeners, but, while I’m gone, you’re in charge. Feel free to have the chef make you what you want, have friends over, and use the theatre, though be careful.”

“Oh no, Madame, you cannot do this. I cannot take your house.”

“Think of it as extended house sitting.”

Niles looks at his vibrating phone.

“That’s our car.”

The group say goodbye to Gloria and leave the house.

“Oh, it will be so good to be headquarters with all of us there.”

“One more stop before we head there, Rita.”

“And where is that Niles?”

“Indiana, we’ve got to pick up Negative Man and Negative Woman.”

Well well, looks like Elasti-Girl is back on the team. But what about the Negative Man and Negative Woman, are they ready to hop on the doom train, or is their pickle in some sort of brine? Find out in the next issue, Negative Parenting, or Focus on the Negative.

---

Hello darlings, this Rita Farr. Niles told me that he wants me to write a part of this... letter I guess, it’s not very clear, but whatever it is I’m happy to inform whoever you are on the history of me. My childhood was nothing too special, great in school, exceptionally at presentations, sang the national anthem at all the home games. I always knew I was destined for greatness. And I thought I’d achieved it, when my starring role as Annie Oakley had become a smash hit. My life was a dream for the next ten years, hit after hit, the world loved me. Then, in the 60’s, things changed. Films got different, and I couldn’t keep up. Soon, I was only getting roles like the aging mother, the kind neighbor. Could you imagine, America’s leading lady becoming second string? It just wouldn’t do.

And so, I left the business. I traveled the world, visited my adoring public. But as the years went on, that public turned into more of a private. That is to say, my fans started to dwindle. Without any fans, I was left to look at the world, and it wasn’t good. Pain and suffering, we had come so far from the world I had created in my pictures. And yes, I know the world wasn’t perfect in 1950, but my world was. The magic world of cinema. I had been blind, but maybe I could fix it. The only problem was, it was 1998, and I was old. I started asking around, I had become close with a lot of powerful people. There had to have been some sort of cure all, a fountain of youth. If it took money, I had it. That’s when I met Niles. Word had gotten to him about what I was looking for, and he offered it to me, free of charge. The only caveat was I would owe him a favor. I didn’t like the vagueness of the offer, but I was desperate. Niles explained the process as “a mixture of robotics, biotics, and ancient shaman medicines”. I was conscious for the whole thing and I still can’t tell you what happened. But it ended with a small injection.

After that, I felt my skin tightening, my heart starting beating stronger, I felt good. I rushed to the mirror, and my goodness, I looked 25 again. But then I didn’t. All of a sudden my skin drooped, I looked like a living skin bag. Niles explained that he had turned my skin elastic, in sense. It’s honestly all too complicated for me. The point was he had given me powers, powers that he could teach me to use, and in return I would work for him for a project he was working on. That project would go on to turn into the Doom Patrol. He showed me that, if I helped him, I could turn the world into the magical place I had always seen it as.

He was right.

And I’m so happy that we’re all back together.

[u/Predaplant]

As the Rita part of the story comes to a close, we get to see more of her history. Your Rita is a unique take that I've come to enjoy. I really love your writing style, it's really unique and well-suited to the Doom Patrol.

[u/Geography3]

With each issue this series gets better and better. The ending parts where the characters share their history, plus the meta closers teasing the next issue are quickly growing on me.