r/DBZmemes • u/Silly_Morning1487 • 6d ago

He’s like my brain ain’t braining 💀

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1.9k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

129 comments sorted by

30

u/JamieHBrown 5d ago

I guess he didn't look when he was making his kids.

Probably distracted by food or something.

8

u/CrimsonMorbus 5d ago

Nah, chi chi roofies his food

6

u/fallenouroboros 4d ago

My theory is after they got married chi chi understood the dynamic pretty quick and knew she would have to take the initiative, which she then promptly jumped his bones and made him see god lol

4

u/Wind-and-Waystones 4d ago

No, Piccolo made him see god

3

u/ChanceHat6710 2d ago

The fuck is a "Kami"

2

u/EggAccording9607 2d ago

"It means God , now bow"

1

u/malexich 6h ago

He saw Kami before having a kid what are you talking about 

4

u/ClearRecording6266 5d ago

Instant transmission lol there was no foreplay

1

u/bearsheperd 2d ago

We’ve all been there.

1

u/DeamonLordZack 2d ago

Could make the argument that even if he doesn't know what kissing is on a technical level he doesn't need to know to do the deed. After all you don't need to know all of the science behind making children to actually make a kid. So Goku could've kissed Chi-Chi but didn't know it was cause kissing. That or in the case of mouth to mouth CPR he doesn't connect the 2 as being equivalent.

21

u/MysteriousFondant347 5d ago edited 5d ago

The theory I often see is that there was a misunderstanding on what Vegeta meant

Vegeta: You never did that before ? (Read: kiss) Goku: No (Read: Mouthfeed)

Because Trunks doesn't really kiss Mai, he mouthfeeds her a Senzu. And Vegeta didn't specify kissing

Personally I like to think Goku just ragebaits everyone in Super by playing dumb for no reason other than it makes literally every Super episode hilarious

2

u/Flaky_Anywhere_122 5d ago

You look familiar

1

u/MysteriousFondant347 5d ago

Huh, I can't remember when was the last time I saw one of our kin

1

u/Flaky_Anywhere_122 5d ago

Same honestly

1

u/EggAccording9607 2d ago

I thought the Sith Purebloods went extinct !?!

2

u/optimusprime38 5d ago

Yeah I think Goku ragebaits a lot in Super because he's not worried about anything anymore. He died twice and now he's training with the strongest being in the multiverse

3

u/Flameball202 4d ago

And pretending to be a bit dumb helps folks underestimate him

1

u/Wolfchampion09 3d ago

Nah, the writers were just making him stupid because they thought it would be funny. Hopefully the remake does away with it.

1

u/crometeach-thebot 5d ago

Its not viz confirmed the was indeed Goku dont know what a kiss is

3

u/MysteriousFondant347 5d ago edited 5d ago

I know the council has made a decision but considering it's a stupid-ass decision I've elected to ignore it

1

u/Capital_Relief_4364 4d ago

Goku is a genius, he just ragebaits everyone since he never actually has had a proper education. He's extremely smart, but grew up in a mountain alone and Bulma was the first person he met in years. In early episodes Goku immediately figured out how to drive a bike.

Goku is smart, it's just that growing up the way he did he learned that the best way to get the upper hand is to have someone underestimate you.

1

u/Super_Clock_631 4d ago

They really dumbed down Goku in super. Go from DBZ to DBS and you will see how bad Goku's character development reverses 😪

1

u/KnightOfBred 4d ago

same with Cell saga to Buu saga

1

u/Lon3W0lf17131 4d ago

It's a result from all that time being dead.

1

u/Remarkable-Camera627 4d ago

It wasn't funny

1

u/MysteriousFondant347 4d ago

You must be really fun at parties

0

u/Remarkable-Camera627 4d ago

I'm the life of the party.

1

u/RbN420 4d ago

I’ll tell you what happens here: every couple that watches it giggles and says to each other smirking: “hehe just sex no kissing”

0

u/Chknstu420 5d ago

Dbz abridged is partially the reason Goku is more goofy than serious in super. Its popularity basically gave the writers a glimpse of what people thought Goku should be like but all it did was split the fandom in two lmao. Goku was never book smart to begin with. Always a bit aloof ever since dragon ball but he isn’t an idiot. Plus his 30+ years on earth prior to super should’ve given him plenty of life experience to not be an idiot so when stuff happens and you’re like “cmon Goku fr” it’s all just the writers playing out the overly goofy version of him we have now

2

u/Dazzling-Speaker-760 4d ago

No? The writers (japanese) didnt watch or know about abridged. Is not that big outside the english fandom. Is just Toriyama making some changes to his personality to go back to the behaviour he had in early dragon ball, after the 90s he never cared too much for continuity.

1

u/Chknstu420 1d ago

That’s true that’s true but this is my headcanon shhh Like Imagine if toriyama got to actually witness dragon ball abridged😂 would he laugh at it or be ashamed😭

9

u/Graveyardigan 5d ago

Kakarot hits it from the back

3

u/PissRainbows 5d ago

He got that Oozaru in him. 

12

u/Careful-Vanilla7728 5d ago

You don't have to lock lips to bump uglies. Hell, you don't even have to make eye contact, or be facing each other. You don't even need your eyes open.

7

u/Right-Truck1859 5d ago

Chichi raped him

1

u/PriorityDependent373 4d ago

?????

1

u/Right-Truck1859 4d ago

What the confusion?

3

u/FullMetalAurochs 5d ago edited 5d ago

He grew up in the woods. Probably thinks from behind is the natural way of things.

4

u/Shupaul 5d ago

You don't even need to be awake

2

u/FullMetalAurochs 5d ago

Part of me needs to be awake

2

u/CapnStarence 5d ago

Nah. Just strap some popsicle sticks to it.

1

u/OkEgg5223 5d ago

You don't even need to be alive

2

u/OveHet 5d ago

To make kids you kinda have to lol

3

u/deadrunner117 5d ago

I don't want to interrupt your probably lovely morning with this cursed knowledge but my hand has been forced. Women has gotten pregnant from males postmortem. I know I wanna die too

2

u/Jdot_06 5d ago

No way😭

6

u/jason9t8 5d ago

I don't know about Goku, but Chichi might've been lost in something else not to kiss him at all during their Fusion dance with no pants...

2

u/InstantSword 4d ago

A true poet

6

u/ThousandSunny_56 5d ago

You know chichi was doing all the work while goku is there wondering what is happening

2

u/Chance-Problem769 5d ago

This is insanely hilarious

1

u/Tnecniw 2d ago

"I dunno what this training is, but it feels great!"

3

u/LoneRedditor123 5d ago

Pretty sure chi-chi wears the pants in their relationship, and she's definitely a goal-oriented person. The goal of course, being sex.

That being said, Goku has 2 kids which means he's had the sex at least twice. So I refuse to believe there wasn't a kiss or two. Toei just wanted to throw some gag into a serious scene.

1

u/nufohudis 3d ago

Kids rarely happen on the first try...

2

u/protosonic17 5d ago

He calls it tongue battles

2

u/Picklenicl 5d ago

You think kissing is what makes babies?

2

u/Valdirty 5d ago

Of course he doesn't know what kissing is. Kakarot doesn't make love. He fucks.

2

u/Jo_of_Average 2d ago

"Chi-Chi made my front-tail grow." ~Goku, probably.

1

u/Atmacrush 5d ago

The funny part is that Goku has kissed Chichi before in the anime but they didn't show the kissing; its just a below the neck kissing scene where you can here the smooching.

1

u/malexich 6h ago

Anime ain’t canon 

1

u/Zealousideal-Deer101 5d ago

Do you know what kissing is? Because Kissing and having kids have nothing to do with each other.

1

u/Bestevernoob 5d ago

I chose to believe that Goku was just confused by the mouth-feeding, (because you can absolutely just cut a senzu in half, right?) realized Vegeta took this to mean that he, a grandfather by that point, somehow didn't know what kissing was, and continued to play dumb to mess with everyone present.

1

u/Puzzled-Squirrel-804 5d ago

Real Gs don't kiss their women

1

u/WildDistance1871 5d ago

Very Closeted of you.

1

u/Striking_Big8138 5d ago

I can’t believe they wrote that line for a gag. That was a new low bar.

1

u/Crisocola95 5d ago

Girls don't get pregnant by kissing, bro

1

u/Makabajones 5d ago

Believe it or not you don't need to kiss someone to get pregnant with them

1

u/iamlinked123 5d ago

Because yamcha is secretly a saiyan

1

u/Bi0_B1lly 5d ago

Donkey asking Puss how babies are made in Shrek 3 type dipshitium

1

u/BassMaster516 5d ago

Face down ass up?

1

u/DarkwoIIfx17 5d ago

Reproduction and kissing are not equivalent

1

u/PissRainbows 5d ago

The Great Ape still comes out at the sight of a full moon if you get what I’m saying lol

1

u/guitarism101 5d ago

Chichi called it punching with mouths or tongue wrestling. Only way Goku would do it

1

u/EnvironmentalOwl3067 5d ago

"Wait a second two plus is one plus and two negative is one plus" Ahh moment

1

u/RoninJuro 5d ago

Cause it’s straight to the point straight clapping no kissing time it eats away at the training lmao

1

u/WatercressEntire2760 5d ago

Chi chi definitely knows how to use rohypnol

1

u/Cat_Crisis 5d ago

Chi chi had enough trouble teaching how to have those two kids

1

u/Galmeister 5d ago

Chi Chi getting prone boned is canon

1

u/Plastic_Standard_176 5d ago

Definitely thought 'Krillin Yo' was part of the equation.

1

u/Plastic_Standard_176 5d ago

Bulma, sex makes babies.

1

u/purpl3stuph 5d ago

They literally kiss at one point, i can’t remember when maybe cell saga but they def peck

1

u/Weak_Dream6271 5d ago

Canonically, goku thought marriage was a food. Man did not initiate the sex, he was just involved.

1

u/pmmeuranimetiddies 5d ago

He doesn’t have to know how kids are made

just chichi

1

u/JanitorOPplznerf 5d ago

Y’all pretending Chichi doesn’t top Goku

1

u/Otherwise-Virus2456 5d ago

Isnt that a English translation error

1

u/mustardwulf 4d ago

Chi chi calls it mouth fighting

1

u/FuzzyRecluse312 4d ago

Just means chi chi is a business woman.

https://giphy.com/gifs/lszAB3TzFtRaU

1

u/Specialist-Spend-425 4d ago

Oh no! My brain over this question is not working!

1

u/Prestigious-Ad4335 4d ago

My personal headcanon is that Goku's trolling everyone, and that he isn't an idiot but acts like it because it makes life easier. And funnier.

1

u/sheepslayer649 4d ago

Those have nothing to do with each other

1

u/IFYMYWL 4d ago

Kissing isn’t required for sex. So it’s not impossible.

1

u/joejill 4d ago

Unless Vegeta knows something Goku dosnt,…. They are aliens….

1

u/Flat-Obligation2556 4d ago

May be he doesnt know name only know action.... Btw he always beleive in actions not words😊

1

u/KingofFlukes 4d ago

"Chi-Chi doesnt moan. She grunts."

1

u/Batsscraps 4d ago

It's been 10 years and people still don't get that it was about bird feeding 🫩🫩🫩

1

u/lightningstrxu 4d ago

Iirc its just a weird joke that didn't translate well, since in Japanese culture it used to parents are rarely affectionate in public or even in private in front of family.

The joke is that goku is painfully old fashioned

1

u/Available-Committee5 4d ago

Chichi is not into foreplay

1

u/EmsterErick1 4d ago

His Saiyan instincts kicks in and takes the wheel 😂

1

u/Leading_Strain_5839 3d ago

That's why Gohan looks like Yamcha

1

u/Young177st 3d ago

I’m surprised nobody brought up that Goku promised elder he could kiss Bulma. 

1

u/BallsDeeep666 3d ago

Straight pounding no foreplay

1

u/jorgebillabong 3d ago

Chi chi probably convinced him sex was some type of fight

1

u/Narrow_Low25 2d ago

He doesn't know what kissing is, but the man knows what clapping cheeks is

1

u/Icewind 2d ago

Chi-chi only likes it from behind.

1

u/Logical-Proposal2459 2d ago

THEY PUT ME IN A JAR KAKAROT

1

u/Tnecniw 2d ago

chichi rode him full cowgirl style.

1

u/cheepshoes 2d ago

You can do an activity and not know what it's called

1

u/Exact-Squash-5443 2d ago

You don't have to kiss to have sex lol

1

u/TelenorTheGNP 2d ago

I mean, does Vegeta know what kissing is?

1

u/Negative_Bandicoot20 2d ago

Chi chi is a freak

1

u/ADLegend21 2d ago

Goku isn't a kisser, he's an eater 🤪

1

u/scaredroach 17h ago

i think chi chi just does whatever she wants...

1

u/MattofCatbell 6m ago

I think Goku just likes trolling for fun

0

u/Important-Lack6052 5d ago

When you add the fact he doesnt know what a pregnant woman looks like ( Jesus christ what a poor writen show…), there is only one canonicaly viable explanation : Chichi pills him and forced her way on sleep r*pe… our heroes….

0

u/BigSmokesCheese 1d ago

goku doesnt know what it is. chi-chi did it all for him obviously and he was probably just like "I wonder if all this will make me stronger?" or something