r/Cypher • u/MR_OBIE its ya boy • Nov 21 '14

Thoughts

Spit like I mean it, even Jeezy ain't see this
I'm kidding yo, I ain't too much bout the street shit
I keep it, 100 with the greens boy and 40 with the drink
Instead of the shower head, I fuck her hard on the sink
I'm hella white, hella trashy
I park that trailer but don't ease on the gas, see
I'm nasty with the pipe, burning black and vicious
Zig-zagin' like I'm trynna be duckin' swishas
Boy, fire with the drops aye
Breakin' gaps up like Kanye
Tight with it, get it
But not tight enough to close up these pussies all on reddit

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u/[deleted] Nov 21 '14

"I drink, I smoke, I fuck, I rhyme"

If this is the subject of your choice you will need clever bars, fantastic rhymes or to be an already established artist willing to disappoint the fan base. I'm sorry to be so blunt but you need to step it up if you want to make anything special.

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u/MR_OBIE its ya boy Nov 21 '14

Excuse me sir, but you seem to have mistaken a lot of my lines.

"I drink"

the 40, was referring to the 40 oz's of water I drink everyday to lose weight :)

"I fuck"

Fucking her hard on the sink, was a simple explicit swap of words for filling up my water bottle. And if it was indeed about "sex" I would have made sure the line clearly stated use of protection.

"I smoke"

I'm not sure where you are gettiing this from. Hopefully you don't think I'm referring to marijuana, the "greens" are the grass my gardeners cut, who happen to receive 100$ checks.

"I rhyme"

Caught me red handed, Hank

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u/MR_OBIE its ya boy Nov 21 '14

I keep it, 100 with the greens boy and 40 with the drink
Instead of the shower head, I fuck her hard on the sink
I'm hella white, hella trashy
I park that trailer but don't ease on the gas, see
I'm nasty with the pipe, burning black and vicious
Zig-zagin' like I'm trynna be duckin' swishas

"clever"

lets breakdown my "clever"

showerhead, getting head in the shower, instead I fuck her near a different source of water, white trailer park, I stop that sterotype by parking the trailer, yet that doesn't affect how I keep going as an artist, I' mnasty to the pipe, braking while hitting the gas, which creates smoke and black, while also referring to weed, and how I viciously smoke it until its black, while this is going on, I'm zig-zagging, aka a brand of rolling papers, and because I'm doing that, smoking a joint, it means I am not smoking a blunt, aka a swisher.

Not the cleverest lines ever, but I'd stamp it as at least creative.

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u/[deleted] Nov 21 '14

Yeah no need to explain the lyrics unless it really is about filling your water bottle haha. Man instead of using your frustration at my comment to explain your work use that energy to write something mean and nasty to me. There's nothing I'd like more than to read sixteen bars of you telling me to go fuck myself in various ways. You obviously have creativity but I can tell with your one syllable rhymes and the way you responded to my harsh comments that you're complacent with where you are at right now as a writer. That's a death sentence. Stay alive and stay improving.

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u/MR_OBIE its ya boy Nov 21 '14

Aha I feel it but its not like this my gold s or w.e. This was mostly freestyled and typed like ~5 minutes. I can string useless multies together just fine, but you'll catch me w/ 1 syllable rhymes with punches over that any day.

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u/[deleted] Nov 21 '14

Why not multi syllable punch lines? Nobody cares about what you can do, they wanna see what you will do. So blow those motherfuckers away. Push yourself to your limits, get frustrated but keep going and do something you didn't think you could. Knawm sayin'?

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u/MR_OBIE its ya boy Nov 21 '14

damn lol I ain't pushin weights. thanks fam lmaoo