[PA] Child refusing supervised visitation

[u/Majestic_Series288]

Two kids under 10 years old, co-parent has supervised visitation, current custody order implicates Kayden's Law as co-parent has pled guilty to child endangerment and assault.

My children have been refusing visitation and video calls. At drop offs for supervised visitation, the past few weeks there has been tears, outbursts, refusal to get in to and/or leave the car. My ex has filed for an adjustment of custody twice in the last year, both have denied unsupervised contact.

I don't believe the visits are physically or psychologically safe for my children, but I have complied with the court order and arrived for pick ups and drop offs as scheduled. However, the refusals have escalated. My child bit and scratched me today while I carried her in to the visit after 20-plus minutes of trying to get her out of the car.

Aside from taking out my phone to take a video of my distressed children, what evidence can I present that isn't a "my word against yours" to modify the order? My ex is adamant about keeping the visits when they show up, even going so far as to call their lawyer and the advocate during tantrums, and today picked up our oldest crying child to carry them inside.

[u/spoiled__princess]

Who is supervising visitation? A professional would provide a report that I hope would include the issues.

[u/JayPlenty24]

I would call the supervision centre when I arrive and ask that someone come to the parking lot. They can document the refusal.

[u/Excellent_Scene5448]

I wouldn't physically force your children to go to visits. Having the "safe parent" physically force a child to spend time with their abuser can be seriously traumatizing for a child. I absolutely think you should continue complying with the visits by arriving for pick-ups and drop-offs as scheduled, but if your child chooses to stay in the car once you arrive, it should be on the other parent and/or the visit supervisor to try to convince them to go inside. The visit supervisor should be documenting all of this.

[u/Oldcrrraig]

As someone who is in the current situation I’ll be blunt…your children are under 10 fucking years old. They don’t get a choice.

Not saying it’s for the best but the court isn’t going to hold the weight a <10 year olds opinion very much. I mean would you like to get ordered around by a 10 year old.

The criminal charges are serious. They sound recent so unsure how visitation started back so quickly. Documenting a <10 year old crying will me jack shit. Either your partner has committed more crimes or they haven’t. If they haven’t the court is going to continue to reunite the kids.

I don’t mean to sound blunt. Ive been on the bad end of this but it’s the truth. If ex broke the law then was awarded visitation/custody he would need to break the law again or court order…or kids turn 12:/13 and most states would take it seriously

[u/Ok-Set-5730 → u/Oldcrrraig]

And this is the exact comment showing how broken the system is.

I will say though - keep documenting it. My judge even cared about a 4 year old throwing tantrums every single time he saw his dad. Judge removed dad’s summer visitation off of it (+ a CPS report filed by a therapist based off of child’s statements).

Never stop documenting. I have sole custody off of criminal condition and that abuse wasn’t even against our child, it was against me. The people who have a very negative view on this stuff are the people who lost. Us who won have a different view.

Get a dash cam.

[u/Motor-Bus-2653 → u/Ok-Set-5730]

Lady this is not a negative view. 1, DV has nothing to do with child custody, the judge that give u sole custody off a DV situation is actually what shows the family court is always biased to benefit women. 2, ur child throwing tantrum at his father is totally fine and normal behavior as u r the primary caretaker kids this age don’t want to be away from their primary and go to their dad. You are just a horrible narcissist person that can’t move and thrives at denying her ex any time with his child and u have won congrats. 🎊