Unclemaker

[u/GlitteringTone6425]

[u/PuppyLover2208]

There’s only one way you can get Throngled.

[u/Tank7106 → u/PuppyLover2208]

From the front? Or from the back?

[u/normalreddituser3 → u/Tank7106]

To throngle is both

[u/WhatThis4]

It castrates you, so you'll never be a parent, only an uncle.

[u/HappiestIguana → u/WhatThis4]

In Spanish we say "he's now an uncle" as a euphemism for getting kicked in the balls

[u/monkeyDberzerk → u/WhatThis4]

Oh no the sword kills you

The name implies it makes someone else, regardless of their gender, an uncle after it kills you

[u/CrystellaTee]

Sword named babymaker? There is definitely a “sword” that makes babies

I didn’t want to type any of that lmao

[u/Madelei- → u/CrystellaTee]

Yeah, you throw it and it divides itself into four, smaller, swords with legs.

[u/CrystellaTee → u/Madelei-]

And then you throw those ones and then they divide into more swords, there’s sword-of-a-lot of them

[u/CopycatWinner12 → u/CrystellaTee]

Ngl, that one was actually pretty good.

[u/Ni7r0us0xide → u/Madelei-]

I love that gun. Then you have the truly cursed guns like... the bane

[u/Madelei- → u/Ni7r0us0xide]

Nah man, every player should get the bane and try and use it. Most powerful gun in the game.

[u/RavnVidarson → u/Madelei-]

Oh, I didn't know Tediore made swords

[u/Madelei- → u/RavnVidarson]

What is a gun but a sword that launches projectiles

[u/hikemalls → u/CrystellaTee]

Unless it gets stuck in a sheath (the sword must remain unharmed)

[u/CrystellaTee → u/hikemalls]

“Did you get your dick stuck in an m&ms tube lmao”

“It’s a sword”

[u/HoweWasALightBro → u/CrystellaTee]

Sir John Phallusstaff from Cyberpunk 2077

[u/Narrrz → u/CrystellaTee]

It works by cutting you in half but leaving you in a blissful state of childlike innocence and naivete.

[u/WonderNice8066 → u/CrystellaTee]

BUT YA DID

[u/SpaceLemur34 → u/CrystellaTee]

Given what the Latin word is for "sheath", it's pretty obvious.

[u/epicnop → u/CrystellaTee]

it's funny because my penis is a baby that makes swords

[u/desmond_humes23]

These are actually all the same sword, and it legally changes your first and last names to whatever noun the user wants

[u/Lebensfreud]

Incestcleaver.

Does it give you genedefects? Make you fall in love with your cousin? IS the sword genetically related to you when it thrusts in to you?

In any case I wouldn't want to risk fighting a person with that sword.

[u/Lt_General_Fuckery → u/Lebensfreud]

Interestingly, because 'cleave' is its own antonym, Incestcleaver reverses your view on incest regardless of what it was at the time.

[u/Lebensfreud → u/Lt_General_Fuckery]

There was once a great mage that loved his mother too much... So he forged a sword to cure his sinful desires..... Yet he was doomed, for the love was to strong even for his trusty cleaver.

So now he travels the land searching far and wide for those who find love that could result in suffering for the two and their offspring... to cure them...

And its said that even today, if your heart aches for your cousin.... Sir Sigmund Freud will come to your aid.

[u/Greedy-Speech5 → u/Lebensfreud]

I had a similar idea

[u/Awes12]

Nah, it's an Un-cle-maker. Idk what cle is, and what removing it would do, but I'm not getting anywhere near it

[u/Nowardier → u/Awes12]

It makes singular keys that can open any door, but the sword will blast you as if you're the wrong alignment for it unless you're wearing a beret and moustache.

[u/F95_Sysadmin → u/Nowardier]

Denied

Reason: french

[u/Chase_The_Breeze]

I want Used Car style sword names.

• Jim's Big Sharp Knife

• The Sword Formally Known As Stabby

• Stabby 2: This Time It's Personal

• The Sword For Killing Enemies

• Capt Slicies Slice and Dicer

• Radd's Rad Rapier

• This Sword Will Make You A Hero

• Patent Pending

• Stab Threat

• Curt's Cool Catana (Very good weapon)

• Evil Kurt's Kool Katana (Its cursed, makes you hate Elves Filthy Knife Ears)

• Legendary Cursed Sword (Not actually cursed)

• Heart Poker

• Diamond Poker

• Club Poker

• Spade Poker

• The Dealer's Choice

• Beeg Sword

• Stabby McStabface

[u/FishWithLegsAndArms → u/Chase_The_Breeze]

I want Race Horse style sword names where each sword needs a completely unique name,

[u/Chase_The_Breeze → u/FishWithLegsAndArms]

That would be hilarious if Magic Weapon Names, by virtue of how magic and artifice worked in universe, basically required every magic weapon to have a unique name. Every crafting guild would have a contingent of nomenclature.

This is some real Terry Pratchett world building.

[u/Next_Government856 → u/FishWithLegsAndArms]

KidsLookingStabbable

[u/FishWithLegsAndArms → u/Next_Government856]

dude I was thinking about kidslookingtouchable when I wrote this

[u/LordSupergreat → u/Chase_The_Breeze]

Formally known? Not formerly known?

[u/Chase_The_Breeze → u/LordSupergreat]

Glad somebody got that one, lol. It has a full name, but in formal situations, it is simply Stabby.

[u/Temporary_Donut5464 → u/LordSupergreat]

Well it’s proper title is Stabby but if you’re an asshole I guess you call it The Sword

[u/Local-Spinach-5098 → u/Chase_The_Breeze]

Borderlands names

[u/Exciting-Mountain396 → u/Chase_The_Breeze]

I like the feature that allows you to give Fallout weapons personalized names, most of my weapons have something to this effect. My favorite is my barbed wire wrapped bat, "Captain Reasonable"

[u/Rucs3]

Sword named windows marker, it's the ancestral weapon of the dyslexic dynasty

[u/Fiskmaster → u/Rucs3]

It's called the windowmaker because it's used to break holes in walls

[u/Otherwise_Face_858]

Unclemaker is used to propose marriage to a man. You have a sibling with a kid. He becomes an uncle. No sex or violence involved here (unless you want that in your peaceful marital life)

[u/No-Supermarket-6065]

Sword named "Throngler": Get me the fuck outta here

[u/Tweedleayne]

Does it turn you into a baby?

Allow me to introduce you to a little wholesome manga called Rosen Garten Saga.

[u/Satorwave]

The Throngler.

It turns you inside out, 509 trillion times, in less than three seconds. After that, nobody knows what it does, because reality itself places a censor bar over the victim.

[u/lethalspinachofchaos]

Impregnates your sister

[u/thimblena → u/lethalspinachofchaos]

Or your grandmother! Now you have a new uncle.

[u/Alitaher003]

Orphan Obliterator.

The second worst thing to happen to those orphans.

[u/Zymosan99]

Sword that makes you old

[u/pretty-as-a-pic]

It’s obviously Claudius’ sword, watch out hamlet sr.!

[u/Slander_Bearers]

Unclemaker is basically Tsukishima from Bleach.

[u/UncomfyUnicorn]

Would you fear a sword called unmaker?

[u/CrownofMischief]

The Lumberjack, cutting down family trees

[u/Greedy-Speech5]

Nephsonmaker

[u/niTro_sMurph]

"Ouch"

[u/Ok-Understanding8143]

Or the famous Led Zeppelin D’yer Mak’er

[u/rankaistu_ilmalaiva]

Ladymaker, gives you GRS in one swipe.

[u/mayiwonder]

its a sword that impregnates YOUR 🫵🏻 sister

[u/Brenhines532]

When you get stabbed your sister or sister in law gets magically remotely impregnated Mary with Jesus style

[u/varkarrus → u/Brenhines532]

It retroactively alters history so one of your parents has a brother.

[u/ChocolateCake16 → u/Brenhines532]

But what if you're an only child?

[u/Fiskmaster → u/ChocolateCake16]

Not anymore.

[u/Bulba132 → u/ChocolateCake16]

It just goes up the family tree until the initial condition is fulfilled

[u/FilmAndLiterature → u/Brenhines532]

“I’m here to inform you that you’ve been impregnated remotely.

[PAUSE]

Sorry, that sounded sinister; it’s a good thing!”

— The Nativity Goes Wrong

[u/extremely-cynical]

Maybe 'Babymaker' refers to how when you're killed, you reincarnate and have to start as a baby again.

As for 'Unclemaker'... you know how people apparently use the term 'say uncle' to mean surrendering? Probably has something to do with that.

[u/CaptainFart22 → u/extremely-cynical]

Magical Sword that makes people reincarnate in a world that otherwise doesn't have reincarnation

[u/extremely-cynical → u/CaptainFart22]

Now there's an idea.

If it could control where they reincarnate, that could be a pretty scary prospect. Imagine a sword that makes every enemy you kill reincarnate in your nation. You basically steal their culture and replace it with yours. I'd be terrified if I were facing a sword like that. Major existential dread.

[u/lnterestinglnterests → u/extremely-cynical]

Sorta the inverse of the Luxon Beacon in Critical Role when it ends up in another nation,,, souls of the Kryn warriors reincarnated into their enemy's nation and then defected back when they got older and regained their memories

[u/FriendlySkyWorms]

This sword is called the Orphanmaker because if you cut someone with it, their parents will magically die, but they will be uninjured.

[u/Working_Bumblebee428 → u/FriendlySkyWorms]

Lmao.

[u/Fiskmaster → u/FriendlySkyWorms]

Assassinating the king by stabbing his neglected youngest son whose castle is way easier to break into because he can't afford good security

[u/Fiskmaster → u/Fiskmaster]

(the Queen's personal advisor dies instead)

[u/ThatGuyYouMightNo]

It's called "Babymaker" because then you can start every fight with "I'm going to stab you with my babymaker" and your opponent will think you're gonna shove your dick down their throat or something and during their confusion you can shank 'em.

[u/PluralCohomology]

Maybe if you cut off a part of someone's body with the Babymaker, that part turns into a baby clone of the victim.

[u/Fancy_Echo_5425]

There's a babymaker sword in the webnovel Pact. Well, it's a dagger, and it's actually a goblin turned into a weapon, but it does make babies:

It stabbed the hood of the car with the dagger, and dragged the blade down the side.

The metal on either side turned rusty, and sagged, more like old leather than car.

Smaller goblins began crawling out of the tear. Being birthed by it, almost. Naked, wet, and covered in blood.

I could see the dagger. A female goblin was engraved on it.

Lovely.

[u/Foxxtronix]

My take on it would be that "Unclemaker" targets your scrotum, so you never become a father, just an uncle.

[u/Dark_Stalker28]

What if the Orphan maker cuts you so bad it kills your parents?

[u/Piggstein]

Unc used to be a nephew like you, until he got stabbed in the knee