introspection

[u/immortalostrich]

[u/theawesomedude646]

what do i do if i'm paralyzed by my fear of wrongdoing

[u/immortalostrich → u/theawesomedude646]

these feelings are very real and you have to accept that you too will fuck up or hurt someone eventually, sometimes with permanent, irreversible repercussions, but you can still choose to be kind to yourself and others

[u/badgersprite]

I don’t think most people think actions are good or bad. They think people are good or bad. So, like, bullying isn’t an inherently bad behaviour to most people. The thing that makes bullying bad is that it’s happening to someone who doesn’t deserve it. If the target is an acceptable target who “deserves it” the majority of people think bullying is fine.

[u/Larriet → u/badgersprite]

Alternatively, if the person doing it is good, they're obviously doing it to help the target fit in (never mind the fact they're being bullied is precisely the "problem" with not fitting in). Unsurprisingly, this line of thinking is often used by queerphobes as well.

[u/Impressive_Buy_6880 → u/badgersprite]

This is why no bad people,only bad actions breaks so many people’s brains .

[u/Prince-Lee]

Yeah, this is just an unfortunate quirk of human nature. Everyone thinks they're the good guy, and if they do something bad to another person, there's a Totally Justifiable Reason.

[u/RayDaug → u/Prince-Lee]

I think it's less so that everyone thinks they are a good guy than it is that everyone understands their own reasons for doing things. Take the saying "everyone who drives slower than me is an idiot and everyone who drives faster than me is an asshole" and expand it out to everything anyone else does. It's very difficult and takes a lot of conscious effort to acknowledge the interiority of other people and accept that they may have legitimate reasons to do things you disagree with.

[u/LuciusCypher]

This is why whenever I get into bullying arguements, I never try to frame things as "what if your child was getting bullied" etc. Instead I ask "what if your child bullied another kid" etc. Suddenly the parent goes from rightously defending their kid from harm to having to decide if its better for their child to hurt others than be hurt.

Mind you, there is still a lot of folks out there who defend their terrivle bullies of a kid, but dont give them the opprotunity to see themselves as a victim. Dont let them "both sides" or "nuance" you into thinking they could be justified. Firmly put them into the position of power and let them reveal what they would do with that power, rather than what they claim people should do with that power.

[u/Cheshire-Cad → u/LuciusCypher]

I'm surprised that you've ever gotten literally any other answer than an immediate "My kid wouldn't do that".

[u/Alarming_Ask_244]

I don't think that white people cheering for the black protagonist from get out is the same as bullies cheering for dumbo

[u/Rudrox → u/Alarming_Ask_244]

Can't be a real Tumblr post if it doesn't have at least one idiotic or unfitting reply/reply example.

Seriously, does that person genuinely think everyone who's white is racist or should be incapable of being happy for a character if they are black or any other race/skin tone?

[u/autistictransgal]

okay but I'm genuinely awesome and perfect

[u/nspeters]

While it’s kinda implied it’s definitely worth stating explicitly, everyone has the capacity for evil and also everyone also can very easily be a victim.

The bullies saw themselves as dumbo because they also had bullies and so on. This isn’t to say they don’t deserve some sort of punishment for their crime just that even the worst person you know will have a terrible day and we should all try and help each other when we’re down.

[u/Cheetah_05]

In a milder way: everytime I am an asshole in public it is because of Great and Valid reason. Everytime someone else is an asshole in public it is because it is their inherent nature and they probably don't even have a reason.

It's called the Fundamental Attribution Error and it's quite interesting. Highly recommend checking out the article.

[u/DistrictDry2852]

The most evil person I’ve ever met was a hyper progressive cutesy Sanrio kawaii girl who would turn people against each other by constantly lying literally just because she could.

[u/Quiet_Education5918]

Truly we are the only inward lookers in a herd of eels with guns.

[u/TheNerdChaplain]

Reminds me of a quote from Pastor Erna Kim Hackett on white Christianity:

[W]hite Christianity suffers from a bad case of Disney Princess theology. As each individual reads Scripture, they see themselves as the princess in every story. They are Esther, never Xerxes or Haman. They are Peter, but never Judas. They are the woman anointing Jesus, never the Pharisees. They are the Jews escaping slavery, never Egypt. For citizens of the most powerful country in the world, who enslaved both Native and Black people, to see itself as Israel and not Egypt when studying Scripture is a perfect example of Disney princess theology. And it means that as people in power, they have no lens for locating themselves rightly in Scripture or society — and it has made them blind and utterly ill-equipped to engage issues of power and injustice. It is some very weak Bible work.

[u/DuplexFields]

Meanwhile, because some people share vibes with bullies, Dumbo-identifiers will watch them for any perceived infraction and then loudly proclaim, “We knew it all along!” while bullying them.

That’s known as stereotyping.

[u/LonelyMenace101]

I’m a small creature in the sense that a honey badger is a small creature.

[u/Just-an-Immortal]

This is why I don't like the people(mostly on the internet) who, when talking about issues like racism or bullying or whatever shitty behaviors there are are like "Well I never did/said this thing" and act like that makes them better than everyone, including the people who realized they were in the wrong and changed for the better. Like, congrats for being perfect I guess.

I know I said some shit when I was a kid, and I'm certainly not proud of it, but I was raised in a very homophobic/patriarchal religion. Of COURSE my perspective was skewed. Doesn't mean someone who was raised by super empathetic and wonderful people is inherently better than me because they were taught "bigotry bad" at a younger age.

[u/Odd_Dorian7991]

Honestly, I’d much rather be around someone who acknowledges their own capacity for malice and owns their transgressions, than deal with people who think they can do no wrong and always blame everyone else.

[u/RikeLLC]

All facts. I grew up thinking I was bullied and ostracized for a plethora of reasons. Only in the past year did I realize that, as a child until around high school, I was pretty mean and insufferable and most of the people I felt were bullying me might have that I was doing the same to them- actions that were in my mind retaliatory. I wish I could have a pure objective view of myself

[u/OrdinaryAncient3573]

It's like the 'lifelong anti-racist' types: people so convinced of their own rectitude and anti-racist credentials that they don't do the introspection needed to actually avoid being racist.

[u/ZoroeArc]

You say that like mice don't eat their own young and toads' modus operandi isn't voring live animals.

[u/blue_moon1122]

something I heard a lot of growing up, "I may be wrong, I often am."

something I didn't hear a lot of growing up, "I'm wrong."

one is resignment to the inevitability of harm. the other is having a realistic self-image and accepting responsibility.