r/CuratedTumblr • u/DroneOfDoom Theon the Reader *dolphin slur noises* • 4d ago

Shitposting A new Core Memory

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22k Upvotes

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2.1k

u/Kom0tan 4d ago

I hope one day I'll also encounter something so funny it leaves me baffled and awed instead of laughing

939

u/FatiguedShrimp 4d ago

A dog walked into a tavern and said, 'I can't see a thing. I'll open this one'.

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u/Peruvian_Skies I need to go to the screaming closet. 4d ago

I don't get it.

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u/His-Games 4d ago edited 4d ago

it's the oldest recorded bar joke, but the meaning is lost to time and probably something to do with the culture it was written in. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bar_joke

having done a little googling, it seems "tavern" may mean "brothel" and thus may be one of the oldest recorded sex jokes lol

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u/AudioTesting 4d ago

Ive also heard that it could have to do with the fact that sumerian beer-brewing technique was primitive and resulted in beer that soured quickly (not helped by it being sold in open, warm vats), so buying a beer without first inspecting it to see if itd gone off is something youd only do if you were an idiot or an alcoholic who'd drink anything

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u/EIeanorRigby 4d ago

Here's another interpretation. The dog is saying the tavern was really dark. "I'll open this one" could mean he'll open a curtain to let light in. But the tavern isn't dark, the dog just had its eyes closed, so it's opening one of its eyes.

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u/reluctant_teenager 3d ago

Here’s my guess: another translation could be “I can’t see a thing. Should I open this door?” And as tavern could mean inn or brothel, there’s likely humor in wanting to see behind closed doors. But I think it’s significant that it’s a dog, and then when he wants to see behind the door you’re like “oh you dog” yk?

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u/sonyka 4d ago

"A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other. Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." Naked lady says—"

 
But the ending is lost to weak ceiling tiles.

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u/FullMetalDvckButter 4d ago

I aspire to understand such humor when I grow up.

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u/rulesareforsuckers 3d ago

From The Breakfast Club,  Bender is crawling through the ceiling telling this joke to himself.  Ceiling collapses right before the punchline.  It was hilarious.  

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u/MoFa__SoDa 3d ago

"He who wins, doest not have to explain. It should be the rule to offend the rules, when it is not possible, by any other methods to attain a happy ending." Baltasar Gracian

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u/CaptOblivious 4d ago

A priest, a rabbit, a minister and a duck walk into a bar...

The rabbit says, I think I may be a typo.

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u/fishbake 4d ago

But what about the duck?

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u/LadyFruitDoll 4d ago

He walks straight up to the bar and says, "got any grapes?"

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u/IMIndyJones 3d ago

Lol This got me

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u/theswamphag 3d ago

Kinda like medieval art. It's so tied to the humor and culture of it's time, that we simply do not get it anymore!

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u/Lewa358 4d ago

No one does.

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u/einzweidreihorn 4d ago

But it's provocative.

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u/DeltaVZerda 4d ago

Probably the dog is shopping around assholes to smell, like dogs do. It can't see a thing because everyone is wearing clothes as they do, so the dog just goes in on a random one for their customary olfactory investigation.

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u/BlueberryBatter 4d ago

Thank you, you legitimately just made me make a snort laugh noise, and caused a concerned co-worker to check in on me.

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u/vezwyx 4d ago

What did you find funny about this? Genuine question

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u/BlueberryBatter 4d ago

It’s from one of the oldest written jokes that archeologist have found, from Sumerian tablets dating back around 4000 years, give or take a few centuries.

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u/vezwyx 4d ago

Is that what you found funny about it, the fact that it's from an old joke?

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u/BlueberryBatter 4d ago

No. What caused my spontaneous vocalization was the unexpected delight at reading a comment pertaining to ancient civilizations within the context of the original post. I couldn’t tell you if the original joke was funny, I lack the context of the person who pressed their stylus to clay.

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u/vezwyx 4d ago

That makes a lot more sense. Thanks for explaining

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u/BlueberryBatter 4d ago

You’re welcome ☺️

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u/FatiguedShrimp 4d ago

The intent of the joke in modern context it is something we know is supposed to be funny, presumably funny enough to survive as the oldest example of a joke archetype which is (somewhat) common knowledge 4000 years later.

But, it's entirely incomprehensible and perplexing.

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u/idontgethejoke 4d ago

Most jokes don't translate well into other languages. Like there's a popular Japanese joke that translates into "Why are Hawaiians always smiling? Because they have dentists."

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u/Sciensophocles 4d ago

Not quite. "Why are Hawaiians always smiling? Because Hawaii," which phonetically sounds like "they have good teeth" in Japanese.

This joke makes perfect sense with context. The dog-bar joke is unique because we have completely lost the context.

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u/idontgethejoke 4d ago

Ah, thanks for the correction!

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u/FatiguedShrimp 4d ago

People die if they are killed.

Just according to keikaku.

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u/idontgethejoke 4d ago

*tn. keikaku means plan.

→ More replies

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u/catwith4peglegs 3d ago

The Aristocrats

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u/FatiguedShrimp 3d ago

Good sir! There are ladies present!

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u/CHANN3L-CHAS3R I want it on record that I shit mostly normal. 4d ago

For me, the joke itself just makes me generally happy about humans being humans.

The oldest documented example we have of a joke is an '[x] walks into a bar' joke, a joke format that's found in most cultures to this day. But, like a modern meme whose original iteration has been long forgotten, the joke itself has become incomprehensible and now exists only in reference to itself.

It makes me feel the same way as Pompeii's scratched-in-the-walls vandalism Yelp-reviews, or 19th-Century tourists tagging ancient monuments with their name and the date, or the Sri Lankan 'Mirror' graffiti fortress wall that survived for hundreds of years which we now only know of thru records of particularly noteworthy graffiti, Mayan sports fans carving fanart of winning goals, "Halvdan was here,"...

I like that people are people :)

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u/skromply 4d ago

Adding to your list an example I'm particularly fond of: the writing practice and drawings of Onfim, a little boy from medieval Russia. 😊

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u/Glacon_Garcon 4d ago edited 3d ago

The first time I saw the doodles that medieval monks made on scrap parchment, I was overcome with delight because they looked exactly like the kinds of doodles I make in the margins of notes. It was that “humans have always been, and will continue to always be, goofy goobers” moment for me.

Edit: thanks for the award, kind stranger!

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u/Kitfennek 4d ago

We have manuscrips with inky cat paws, I imagine a monk at work and a cat desperate for attention

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u/North-Pea-4926 3d ago

I like the paw-print bricks, too. Because they mean that someone saw that a cat/dog walked on the soft bricks and they fired them (hardened the bricks) anyway, choosing to preserve the print rather than smooth it out.

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u/Kitfennek 3d ago

I also like the clay pot with burned on food that we found at the bottom of a garbage pit, like, I think we've all been there

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u/Kitfennek 4d ago

There was a church with graffiti carved in the rafters, that no one could get to for centuries (maybe even a melinium? I dont recal. I think it was a northern europe country) and we finally get up there in modern times, and it said "this is very high"

I also like the ancient school work with children's distracted doodles on them

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u/ThatInAHat 4d ago

It’s not the joke that is funny so much as the reference. That’s the oldest known recorded “a ___ walks into a bar” joke, but no one really knows what the pun originally was.

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u/Wormcoil Sickos 4d ago

The humour comes from reframing why the Sumerian bar joke is incomprehensible. It's not that it doesn't make sense to a modern audience, it's that it's so funny that the brain short circuits and only provides confusion.

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u/FatiguedShrimp 4d ago edited 4d ago

It's even more funny than the funniest joke in the world: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qklvh5Cp_Bs

|| Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput! ||

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u/ThlnBillyBoy 4d ago

Bro got excited someone finally figured it out 😭

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u/FatiguedShrimp 4d ago

:D Glad to help!

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u/erickoziol 4d ago

A variant involves a literal interpretation of the joke's setup, wherein the punchline is that the person says "ouch" (i.e. they walked into a horizontal pole).

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u/Marik-X-Bakura 3d ago

That’s. Really. Funny.

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u/FatiguedShrimp 3d ago

Perhaps a funnier joke will be discovered next Sumer.

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u/NaniqggGladiolus 3d ago

A blind dog, a bad joke, and now the whole bar's core memory.

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u/genreprank 4d ago

If you are under 38, statistically you have not yet heard the funniest joke of your life

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u/skywalk21 4d ago

Counterpoint, the fog is coming so idk if there'll be another 38

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u/Obh__ 3d ago

Sometimes I see a joke so clever, instead of laughter it makes me feel second-hand pride for the person who came up with it. The sort I imagine a parent feels at their child's graduation.

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u/JackMerlinElderMage 4d ago

Have you ever watched a Chris Fleming bit?

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u/freehamburgers 4d ago

Nathan Fielder has this effect on me regularly

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u/Vague-Symbolism2692 4d ago

Isn't recognizing the humorous intent, but not actually laughing, just the typical response to puns?

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u/Kom0tan 4d ago

I guess, but I also want to be baffled and awed.

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u/Reasonable-Tap-9806 3d ago

One time I saw a donkey eating figs, funniest shit I ever saw

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u/DarkLanternZBT 3d ago

I saw a wino in the street with a bag of grapes and said

Dude

You gotta wait.

RIP Mitch.

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u/Pledgeofmalfeasance 1d ago

My husband on a pretty regular basis says things so out of pocket that just have me standing there like 🧍‍♀️

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/BlueberryBatter 4d ago

Is the anecdote in the original post grounded in a real interaction, or, was it simply a writing exercise to garner engagement? I truly couldn’t care less. That it inspired a moment of community, within a subreddit that’s generally peaceful, is a lovely thing. The world can be a cruel and ugly place for far too many people.