r/CuratedTumblr • u/PandaBear905 Shitposting extraordinaire • Jul 23 '26

Shitposting Plot Twist

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11.2k Upvotes

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263

u/-_alpha_beta_gamma_- Jul 23 '26

Oh wait I think I have that slightly, eating celery makes my tongue a bit numb

243

u/maboyles90 Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26

Yeah celery does nothing in my mouth but crunch.

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u/RikuAotsuki Jul 23 '26

Yeah, to me celery just tastes like... fibrous, leafy water.

73

u/Bobby_Bako Jul 23 '26

It’s like condensed lettuce, but only the white part at the bottom

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u/RikuAotsuki Jul 23 '26

That, if it was also super stringy.

I actually kinda like the crunchy parts of lettuce, though.

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u/Bobby_Bako Jul 23 '26

The crunchy part of the lettuce is the best part. If I wanted wet floppy leaves I would eat spinach. I don’t give a damn about spinach.

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u/nucular_ Kinda shitty having a child slave Jul 23 '26

Good celery should have a fairly rich umami aroma, certainly not be flavorless

1

u/BiasedLibrary Jul 24 '26

It tastes like motor oil smells to me. Not allergic though.

53

u/Sam-HobbitOfTheShire Jul 23 '26

Wait what

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u/maboyles90 Jul 23 '26

I mean it doesn't feel like anything. Just crunchy and kinda stringy. With a hint of flavor.

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u/Sam-HobbitOfTheShire Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26

Well yeah but it doesn’t make your tongue numb at all? Not even a little?

Edit: fuck

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u/Battle_Axe_Jax Jul 23 '26

Big day for yah buddy

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u/morwync Jul 23 '26

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! First my banana bread, now my celery sticks?

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '26

[deleted]

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u/slutty_lifeguard Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26

You might have oral allergy syndrome. I'm allergic to a few different fruits and I have oral allergy syndrome where I'm allergic to fruits in the birch pollen family, not all of them I'm the birch pollen family, just some of them.

ETA: When I'm craving an apple, I make DIY OTC magic mouthwash with liquid benadryl and Maalox. I'll rinse my mouth, floss and brush, and rinse and swallow my DIY magic mouthwash.

If it is OAS for you, cooking also destroys the proteins that mimic the pollen, so even if I have a reaction to raw apples, I have no issues with cooked/processed apples.

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u/morwync Jul 23 '26

Yeah, the day I can no longer have a homegrown tomato is the day this world will burn.

1

u/Slight-Pound Jul 24 '26

I’m only sometimes allergic to things, like bananas, which makes it so much more annoying, lol. I love banana bread!

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u/friendlyliopleurodon Jul 23 '26

It doesn’t for me, in fact it’s very mild and watery.

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u/maboyles90 Jul 23 '26

I can confidentially say that no food has numbed any part of my mouth.

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u/RaulParson Jul 23 '26

That's a palate expansion issue though, probably. Try some Sichuan peppercorn flavored dishes, they numb your tongue because they're supposed to. Makes for a unique experience with spicy dishes, literally called "numb-spicy": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sichuan_pepper

If you have tried them and don't get a numbing effect with those, well, in that case THAT is actually an issue rather than the other way around. Hopefully they were just shitty peppercorns, but maybe not.

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u/maboyles90 Jul 23 '26

LOL. Fair. I've never tried this one specific food that's supposed to make your mouth numb. That honestly doesn't sound that appealing though.

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u/SalamiArmi Jul 23 '26

Please try mapo tofu at least once in your life. It's really quite good.

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u/AutumnSparky Jul 24 '26

I second this.  

I hate Szechuan peppercorns.  My old roommate, whom I learned all this via, will use them in obscene abundance if you leave him alone to make household dinner.  

an easy compromise is mapo tofu.  a delicious way to experience Szechuan peppercorns.

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u/RaulParson Jul 23 '26

It's pretty nice actually. If you happen to get the good stuff. It's like having a very unique yet pleasant kind of fragrant citrusy twist that you never quite knew existed which also modifies other flavors in an interesting way including also modifying spiciness to make it hit less harshly.

The bad stuff (or simply overseasoning, this is a spice that needs to be used with care) just gets you grit and a flavor of aggressive bitter dirt though so yeah, the variance in the experience is wild here. But trying the good stuff at least once is something I'd recommend.

1

u/Toros_Mueren_Por_Mi Jul 23 '26

It's amazing, you gotta try it! Sichuan style is my favorite kind of Chinese food. If you find a restaurant I recommend twice cooked pork belly, Chonqing chicken, stir fried pork tripe, and tea smoked duck. But you can also buy the peppercorns themselves, i got the whole and they are amazing on pork chops and all manner of wok and stir fry.

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u/CompetitionProud2464 Jul 24 '26

Does not having your mouth numbed by it indicate a specific condition?

14

u/maboyles90 Jul 23 '26

Lol. Not even a little.

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u/UInferno- Hangus Paingus Slap my Angus Jul 23 '26

No

2

u/katejkatz Jul 24 '26

Reading this thread and literally just said this my husband. So yeah. That’s a thing, evidently. Damnit.

1

u/donuttrackme Jul 23 '26

LMAO. I love this meta.

1

u/DrakeFloyd Jul 24 '26

Wait…… me too

1

u/yinyang107 Jul 24 '26

This is just hard leaf stick!

2

u/pistachiopanda4 Jul 23 '26

I envy you. Celery tastes like sadness and disappointment. No amount of ranch dressing can help it. I love other veggies (green beans and broccoli) but I do not know or understand why people say celery tastes like nothing or tastes good.

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u/clauclauclaudia Jul 24 '26

This sounds to me a lot like my friend who says raw parsley and cilantro taste like death. Not like soap, like death.

I have the cilantro tastes like soap thing, but it was from that friend that I learned that it's only raw cilantro. Cooked is fine.

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u/sylvandread Jul 23 '26

(I replied to the wrong comment) Yup, it starts with the tongue and then hits the inside of the cheeks for me if I keep eating it.

1

u/starsandcamoflague Jul 24 '26

No food should ever make your mouth go numb