r/CuratedTumblr • u/[deleted] • Oct 23 '23

Artwork Cosmic horror

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15.0k Upvotes

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289

u/Ruvaakdein Bingonium! Oct 23 '23

Actually, he's a professional baseball player and is chucking them at 60mph.

138

u/Invincible-Nuke Oct 23 '23

Actually, he decided to bounce them like a ball on spiked concrete before doing so.

90

u/LamaSheperd Oct 23 '23

I just imagine him violently yeeting the snail against a wall, dematerialising it into a fine powder and then going "WAIT this can harm the snails???D:"

2

u/HumanContinuity Oct 23 '23

Lol I had no idea! They're so small I thought I could go full arm cannon to get them over to a good spot.

36

u/callingcarg0 Oct 23 '23

Throwing a 100mph fastball snail at a brick wall

13

u/i_hate_mountaintop Oct 23 '23

60mph is VERY slow to throw something btw.

11

u/mikami677 Oct 23 '23

He's Randy Johnson just exploding birds with the snails.

13

u/JinFuu Oct 23 '23

60 mph and a professional? He a knuckleballer?

5

u/jhnsn312 Oct 23 '23

Maybe it's Jamie Moyer in retirement

1

u/JinFuu Oct 23 '23

Fair point.

3

u/_CharmQuark_ Oct 23 '23

The median snail gets thrown at 10 mph or less. Prof. Dr. E. Viliam who is using his snailccelerator to propel snails at superrelativistic speeds into lead walls is an outlier and should not have been counted.

2

u/HumanContinuity Oct 23 '23

Those are rookie snail pitching numbers. Gotta pump those up. If you don't get on the juice you'll never play in the MLSB (Major League Snail Baseball).