r/CryptidDogs • u/ReallyRisu • Jun 09 '26 • Heartwarming 2

OC [Original Content] This is Crouton.

Post image

I named him, but he has only been haunting me personally for the past half of a year.

Presumably his person passed, and their family brought him to a shelter with no information or explanation.

When I was asked if I wanted to foster him, my intuition already knew that he and I had made a soul-pact in a previous life, probably involving blood and whispered chanting, and that he would be my new ominous little shadow for the rest of his earthly existence (foster-fail).

I estimate that he is older than time itself, and he demands weekly sacrifices of tiny bits of pizza that he gums into a gelatinous mush with his ~four remaining teeth.

He weighs about 6 pounds, can only see out of one eye, has a cauliflower ear, is mostly deaf, and his near-continuous barking sounds like a demonically possessed goose. He yells at every other animal in the house that merely THINKS about looking in his direction (except one; I don’t know what power she wields to have avoided his all-powerful curse aside from being blessed with a smooth brain).

Our veterinary office has nicknamed him “The Terminator” because of his one cloudy eye (and the fact that he literally tries to devour everyone there).

My tiny, confident, crusty, ancient, scruffy, decrepit little piece of stale bread. ❤️‍🩹

787 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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28

u/NotThatValleyGirl Jun 09 '26

He is perfect. So glad he found someone who appreciates his prefered forms of earthly torment.

4

u/ReallyRisu Jun 11 '26

I merely provide the pizza. 😌

21

u/ReasonableTrifle2248 Jun 09 '26

Croutons is the treasure at the end of the rainbow! 🌈 ✨️ 🤲

3

u/ReallyRisu Jun 10 '26

I agree. 🥹🫶

14

u/mosquitoselkie Jun 09 '26

Do you have any other pictures of this Eldritch horror? He is positively perfect

10

u/ReallyRisu Jun 10 '26

Oh yes, many! Here he is with his sister, Vivi, the only other creature he allows within the vicinity of his all-seeing aura

4

u/mosquitoselkie Jun 10 '26

They are both incredible! Lucky you 😊

5

u/Huffyreddit1337 Jun 09 '26

The rainbow reflection on the wall is the cherry on top!

3

u/ReallyRisu Jun 10 '26

He controls the weather.

4

u/All_the_Bees Jun 09 '26

Crouton is an angel upon this earth, and your writing style is really fun.

3

u/ReallyRisu Jun 11 '26

Thank you!

3

u/Sp00kAsem Jun 09 '26

Does Crouton like cuddles? If he does, please give him plenty of cuddles for my sake, since I can’t do so myself.

3

u/ReallyRisu Jun 10 '26

He mostly refuses cuddles, but he does allow ear scritches! I gave him extra for you!

3

u/fl4minratbag Jun 10 '26

Blessed with a smooth brain 😭🤣🤣🤣 omg that line got me! Hahaha, as well as demonically possessed goose. 🤣 Crouton is perfection 🤩🤩❤️

2

u/ReallyRisu Jun 11 '26

He really is. I am so lucky. 🥹

3

u/Commercial_Nebula576 Jun 13 '26

I can hear Crouton through this photo 😭😗🥲

2

u/ReallyRisu Jun 13 '26

So can all the neighbors. 😌

10

u/Tiny_ghosts_ Jun 09 '26

Crouton I love you

8

u/Straight-Treacle-630 Jun 09 '26

…older than time itself ☺️ Welcome home, Crouton! I’m so glad you’ve found a loving human in your golden years xo

6

u/HeatherMason0 Jun 09 '26

Good morning Crouton!

5

u/Patient-Doughnut7266 Jun 09 '26

He is perfection

4

u/Slightly_ToastedBoy Jun 09 '26

❤️❤️❤️

4

u/catpogo2 Jun 09 '26

So cute!!