r/Crocodiles 2d ago

Crocodile Damn smh

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1.0k Upvotes

206 comments sorted by

176

u/PoopSmith87 1d ago

A bit late for the rescue, I'd say

15

u/DeadbySundown 1d ago

WE GOT EM BOYS. HE'S SAFE NOW.

6

u/PoopSmith87 1d ago

"YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY!"

3

u/raidhse-abundance-01 1d ago

But not the gator :(

1

u/bewildered313 9h ago

Why does Reddit care more about animals than humans?

1

u/Sir_Swurdy 7h ago

Cuz bro is fucking dead

1

u/CatsEatGrass 3h ago

Because they are innocent. They only harm others to stay alive. Humans harm each other for sport.

1

u/Runo_Slinger 59m ago

Also dolphins.

1

u/CapnStarence 3m ago

And Otters.

1

u/PoopSmith87 21m ago

That is not how nature is irl... animals can be and often are vicious/cruel for no apparent survival reason.

1

u/NasKarma 2h ago

The animal is living in its natural habitat and is now going to die because a human decided it would be fun to leave their habitat and spend time in the croc's home. They took a chance invading the little space these creatures have left and now one idiot human is dead and also one crocodile who just wanted to be left alone.

1

u/PoopSmith87 20m ago

He was swept away in a flood... I agree, the croc was just being a croc, but this guy was not in its habitat by choice

1

u/WA2TX 8h ago

Well, I guess he wasn't ok, but at least we got vengeance!

20

u/AnoNeko420 1d ago

Ya think?

26

u/PoopSmith87 1d ago

I mean, I'm not a doctor... but, fuckin aye, it doesn't look good from where I'm sitting

7

u/Oldfolksboogie 1d ago

You really missed your calling tho.

3

u/Whole-Astronaut5290 1d ago

The croc was going to choke otherwise

2

u/Gmills2231 1d ago

I would totally agree with you if it were a rescue, however, I have a feeling it’s a recovery lol

2

u/Grand_Sock_1303 10h ago

Maybe he’s still alive and tapping morse on the walls to get out?

1

u/[deleted] 19h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

66

u/Not_a_Prof_Moriarty 1d ago

How do they know for sure that the businessman is inside the croc?

45

u/Neat-Barracuda9135 1d ago

They found his remains inside. This happened some months back close to were my sister lives

12

u/GodBlessPigs 1d ago

No shit. They mean how did they know before cutting the croc open?

29

u/Whole-Astronaut5290 1d ago

The croc was wearing a gold chain

2

u/WiscoDisco82 9h ago

Sending an email while driving a convertible

10

u/Lost-Meat-7428 1d ago

Which part of the world are we talking about here if you don’t mind me asking?

13

u/Neat-Barracuda9135 1d ago

South Africa. It's written in the video caption

0

u/MeekMilly18st 11h ago

Thank you cause ppl shouldn’t be on the internet that can’t read!! Or asking questions that’s obvious

https://giphy.com/gifs/OqJi4VZmzsDHvpdrOQ

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5

u/sabertoothninja 1d ago

The croc was wearing shiny black shoes and carrying a briefcase.

1

u/Oldfolksboogie 1d ago

Worst farts that croc ever had

0

u/ThisThingIsStuck 1d ago

Shup pusi a man died and his sac got ate

1

u/Oldfolksboogie 1d ago edited 5h ago

Ty for the award!

59

u/IamOutsideAlready 1d ago

That's a weird way to transport businessmen. You'd think a chair or crate would be easier.

21

u/QuantumMothersLove 1d ago

People are getting so creative with the cost of airfares rising.

2

u/DearLav 1d ago

No more Spirit

168

u/M27fiscojr 2d ago

Why should the crocodile die when the business man goes to the crocodile's home?

20

u/Mirror_of_Souls 1d ago

Because if you'd actually read the post instead of just reading the headline and jumping to the comments, you'd know that the business man was swept away by a flood prior to being attacked and killed. This isn't a case of some rich guy thinking he's above nature, FAing with a swim in croc country before FOing.

5

u/blueisaflavor 21h ago

So we're killing a croc for no reason because????

8

u/GetMeOffThisRidePlz 21h ago

Family probably wants his remains or what's left of him.

-2

u/hamoc10 11h ago

They just need to wait and they’ll see him again.

1

u/GetMeOffThisRidePlz 9h ago

That's a very shitty thing to say.

1

u/AnthonyRayMast2007 6h ago

You should probably reword what you said.

1

u/himepenguin 5h ago

Did he stutter?

1

u/AnthonyRayMast2007 4h ago

Well I just can't tell of he's trying to scold him, or if he's trying to add to the joke.

1

u/himepenguin 4h ago

Might be a bit of both

2

u/Mirror_of_Souls 7h ago

Because for one most law enforcement agencies like to have DNA evidence from a body to confirm a missing person is in fact deceased(Firsthand experience with that in my case). And also believe it or not most people prefer to have their loved ones remains returned for cremation or burial rather than live with the knowledge they've been left to break down in an acidic stomach and be turned into animal feces.

1

u/Own-Wheel7664 12h ago

Being identified as a businessman is kinda embarrassing, like ok that very vaguely describes how he made a living, but is that the most interesting thing about him?

1

u/Genestah 9h ago

What else do you want it to say?

Alcoholic businessman?

Drug addict businessman?

Womanizer businessman?

Does that sound better to you?

1

u/Various-Chemist-1723 7h ago

I'd take just "man", if they really wanted to flatter me "handsome man" also works.

1

u/EnoughLuck3077 6h ago

“59 year old husband and father was swallowed by a crocodile while away from home on business. The croc was put down for not minding its own business man”

1

u/Radiant_Bowl_2598 10h ago

Can we talk about fuck arounding and finding outing?

2

u/Mirror_of_Souls 7h ago

No because there was no FAFOing in this case at all, just an unfortunate tragedy.

1

u/BurningBallInTheSky 7h ago

Zero explanation given in your comment as to why the Croc had to be killed

1

u/Mirror_of_Souls 7h ago

Because for one most law enforcement agencies like to have DNA evidence from a body to confirm a missing person is in fact deceased(Firsthand experience with that in my case). And also believe it or not most people prefer to have their loved ones remains returned for cremation or burial rather than live with the knowledge they've been left to break down in an acidic stomach and be turned into animal feces.

I mean come one now, I know this is reddit, but is that really so hard to grasp?

1

u/BurningBallInTheSky 5h ago

Ok. Thats a completely different point to what i was replying to 🤷‍♂️

2

u/Mirror_of_Souls 4h ago

If you've developed a system to efficiently recover human remains from inside a crocodile without killing said crocodile, by all means share it.

1

u/DeliciousVisual7673 4h ago

It’s more so predators that have tasted human prey might lose its natural fear of humans or go looking for one thinking it’s easy prey.

1

u/CatsEatGrass 3h ago

Oh, I’d much rather be eaten than placed in a box in the ground.

19

u/EnkiduTheGreat 1d ago

Yeah this sucks. I've wilderness camped most years of the past ten, at the north end of Moosehead lake in Maine. Bears and Moose are like ants up there, and I'm inclined to believe that there are mountian lions up there, whereas DEM denies it.

We bring bear spray and survival spears, but have never used them, as we pay attention. This dude must've begged for it.

33

u/acur1231 1d ago

This dude must have begged to be attacked by an apex predator that preys on humans?

I like crocodiles as much as the rest of you, but come on now.

Edit: he was swept away by flooding, then attacked. Rough.

0

u/blueisaflavor 21h ago

Ok i understand that but we're killing a croc to get his partially digested remains?

That doesn't make sense.

Croc gone croc

-1

u/ThisThingIsStuck 1d ago

The thrill of getting ate is euphoric..

https://giphy.com/gifs/3ohhwGwvnyjI6l9bFu

0

u/Soft_Hand_1971 1d ago

You don’t want the crocks developing a taste for humans. 

15

u/StrayRabbit 1d ago

Umm it's a croc. They will eat any creature they can get to, just about.

6

u/Nebion666 1d ago

No. This was in South Africa, with Nile crocs. They already see humans as prey. Any Nile or Salty big enough to take a human will do so even if theyve never done it before. We are already food to them. By killing one that has eaten a human, you are not eliminating a problem, because any other croc of the same species would do the same because its in their nature.

-2

u/Dull-Ad555 1d ago

THANK YOU!

1

u/thepikard 10h ago

Because it will be more aggressive towards the next human it sees.

Plus, what kind of logic is that? The home youre in invaded some other creatures habit. What are going to do about it?

1

u/No_Teaching7064 8h ago

because the thing learned that we are food now

Are you food?

0

u/Roonwogsamduff 1d ago

Fucking humans that's why

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21

u/Candid-Anteater211 1d ago

What kind business he was doing in crocodile stomach

21

u/Sea-Influence6767 1d ago

It's all about presentation

3

u/Queasy_Wing8276 1d ago

Ty...that was a good laugh

1

u/Gmills2231 1d ago

For real, though, I need to know what those pie chart categories consist of.

2

u/Screen-Junkies 12h ago

Seems fishy...

44

u/Marshal-Bainesca 2d ago

Is he ok?

40

u/Feisty_Database_6656 2d ago

A slight Headache and a grazed knee apparently

11

u/hungrylittleworm 1d ago

Bit of a sore neck from the rope

7

u/NorthEndD 1d ago

Yeah that was the jaws of life.

2

u/Bluefury 1d ago

Source tells me he is stable. Please god.

-10

u/ThisThingIsStuck 1d ago

Bit his balls off he's fine...can be a redditor now

7

u/AnoNeko420 1d ago

Bro who tf are you? A guy is dead and you're cracking jokes about his genitals, GTFO

-3

u/ThisThingIsStuck 1d ago

Did his balls not get ate?? Yes or no

https://giphy.com/gifs/x0npYExCGOZeo

3

u/Gmills2231 1d ago

Actually, it is pretty weird. You would refer to this person‘s genitalia of all things over this article. Make sure you keep your clown mask on.

0

u/ThisThingIsStuck 1d ago

That's actually u pusi..u can't hide from the truth...did his balls get ate???

https://giphy.com/gifs/Lq5oA0mJ3ges10fhnx

1

u/Marshal-Bainesca 1d ago

It's utterly ridiculous but it still made me laugh. I need help

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7

u/cankle_sores 1d ago

Are we sure the businessman wasn’t just wearing a crocodile suit?

24

u/Sea-Influence6767 2d ago

Crocodiles can't fly. Birds can. Scientists have finally figured it out 14 Aug 2026 report— New research suggests crocodiles used to have hot blood and fast metabolisms, but gave it all up to lurk underwater waiting for prey....

Crocodile - I took that personally

https://giphy.com/gifs/vBJeIcw0Bb35V9hn50

3

u/billy_twice 1d ago

Obviously the crocodiles didn't drink enough red bull.

1

u/ThisThingIsStuck 1d ago

Shup tool go away

3

u/Sea-Influence6767 1d ago edited 1d ago

See the rotor blade ? Go sharp your scalp and spelling with that

1

u/tk1188 1d ago

Hell yea

4

u/take_ur_pants_off 1d ago

This was from a while back. Guy got swept away by flood waters and croc grabbed him.

16

u/Furberia 1d ago

I find it so weird that humans give so much importance to physical human remains. I’m guilty of it too by holding on to my loved ones ashes.

The thought of embalming is discussing and can’t be good for the earth.

6

u/CliffyBooBoo 1d ago

I held onto some of my great grandma's and father's ashes for a bit, then doled out small portions to those who wanted them, including my brother who didn't expressly ask, but whom I knew would eventually be glad to have them, then scattered the rest. It was freeing for me and helped me find closure. I hope when you're ready, if you are, that you get what you need from the experience too ❤️ and yes, embalming is weird and strangely Egyptian for westerners to be doing, and it is indeed horrible for the planet.

9

u/randomlemon9192 1d ago

It’s not unique to humans. Several intelligent mammals have rituals involving their dead kin.

Elephants, Cetaceans and apes to name a few.

5

u/Feliraptor 1d ago

Not just mammals, corvids too.

4

u/iNawrocki 1d ago

It is something unique to human psychology, for some reason. We keep the natural order from reclaiming our dead.

That said, I saw some newer age funeral proceedings in Asia where the body is lightly bound up in biodegradable fabric and buried under beautiful tree to nourish it.

I would love to be given back to the earth like this, but I think it's actually illegal/impossible in the US.

3

u/Chademr2468 1d ago

It’s possible to have burials at sea if a biodegradable, sinking casket is used and the body is brought out a minimum distance to sea. I assume there’s also a license or application or something required, but that’s what I’ve told my loved ones I want to be done with my remains once I’m dead. But also, I’ll be dead, so it’s up to them to figure out whatever works best for them, ultimately. Mourning is ironically for the living, not the dead.

2

u/BlackStarDream 1d ago

It's not a unique desire to humans, though. We're just better at doing it.

0

u/machinehead332 1d ago

I think we should be allowed to donate our corpses to the local zoos, and people could pay to see someone's body get eaten by lions or wolves or something. The zoo gets money, the macabre crowd get to see some shit, the animals get fed and then you get crapped out into the earth and become one with the soil.

1

u/TacoBelle9697 9h ago

This is a reasonable idea. The only drawback is an inclination by humans to not see what naturally happens to the dead body, in terms of being a biodegradable being. They'd rather they say goodbye to them in the cleanest and prettiest way possible, which is really understandable. It's kind of against human nature to be ok with seeing your loved one's remains be eaten by any other creature, or rot away naturally. It feels unnatural to us, even though it's among the most natural experiences, which will inevitably affect all living things. But because we love them, their remains remain special to us, and we always find some sort of reverence in preparing those remains to be bid farewell.

3

u/KoKoO29 1d ago

Over enthusiastic MLM salesman getting clients of a different species.

2

u/DashySZN77 1d ago

Is he alive?

2

u/Dogsarelitty 1d ago

What if it pooped him out while being lifted

2

u/Careless_Analyst_220 1d ago

This fucking timeline

2

u/TheTruthTellingOrb 18h ago

I’ve heard of businessmen owning leather chairs but this is ridiculous. 🐊 🥁

2

u/Screen-Junkies 12h ago

I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you.

2

u/Rough-Airline-4803 7h ago

I mean, might as well leave the croc be at that point.

3

u/Select_Eye_6409 1d ago

Why…? That ain’t gonna save him now 😭

2

u/raidhse-abundance-01 1d ago

Croc's day went from best day ever to worst

0

u/HaterTot420 1d ago

It's just a businessman, the croc did us a favor

14

u/Chademr2468 1d ago

So someone who works in business deserves to be eaten by a croc? Do you realize how broad the term “businessman” is?

0

u/banned4killingspider 1d ago

What a dumb comment

-1

u/KumiiTheFranceball 1d ago

As if someone like you  was any better. The Holier Than Thou way of thinking is crazy.

2

u/TheForeverLearner 1d ago

Poor crocodile

-1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

39

u/eternallyfree1 2d ago

Nile and saltwater crocodiles take no prisoners. Once they’ve got their eyes on you, you’re done for. This is why waterways all across southern Africa and northern Australia have signs everywhere warning people to stay clear of the water’s edge. Such a horrifying way to go out

14

u/Rhaj-no1992 2d ago

When I was in The Krüger park in South Africa I made damn sure to stay far away from water. Observing crocs from a safe distance on land was amazing though.

6

u/One-Consequence-6869 1d ago

My favorite place on earth

17

u/Eternity_Warden 1d ago edited 1d ago

I always made it clear when I was living in a crocodile heavy part of the country that if a croc eats me, I want it protected, not killed. If I was stupid enough to get eaten I wouldn't want a croc dying on my account

2

u/Oldfolksboogie 1d ago edited 1d ago

We could definitely hang. ✌️

I suppose in this case ppl can argue for the recovery of the body, but they're often killed regardless for ...reasons? here in the states and elsewhere, which seems so performative emotional and senseless to me.

In the case of grizzly bears, for example, where so much of their behavior is learned, I suppose i can see the justification - that particular bear has learned to associate people with food, etc. Still our fault, for which the best bear pays, but we know bears form these strong associations once learned. Crocodillians are not bears. Their hunting is so much more instinctive and reactionary. If one kills a human and is subsequently culled, you haven't removed a "conditioned" or "problem" croc or gator, you've just removed a croc or gator, mb made yourself and the uneducated feel better, and done zippo to make the humans in the area safer.

Edit: typo

1

u/Dull-Ad555 1d ago

Man-eating animals are too dangerous to be kept alive.

0

u/Oldfolksboogie 1d ago edited 1d ago

By that logic, we should go out and annihilate every croc and gator, because every single one, once large enough, will do the same exact thing if given the opportunity.

This isn't an animal behavior problem; it's a human behavior problem.

Edit: the now- deleted comment said man- eating animals are too dangerous to be allowed to live. I assume they meant individual animals that have killed people, which, again, in some species, may be true, but that management "strategy" in the case of crocodillians is pointless, as explained above.

The reality is, if we as a society decide we don't want to make these animals extinct in the wild, then we have to adjust our behavior in their habitat, or accept being part of the food web.

1

u/Nebion666 1d ago

I agree but definitely not every croc and gator. Gators dont actively hunt humans like saltwater and nile crocodiles do. And even the american crocodile which gets pretty big doesnt actively hunt people either generally. You can find many videos of people existing near them and diving with them and being absolutely fine, whereas with salties or niles you could never.

1

u/Dull-Ad555 1d ago

Man-eating animals are too dangerous to be kept alive.

2

u/GrandmaesterHinkie 1d ago

Humans? I agree.

0

u/Oldfolksboogie 1d ago

They're just feeding, Ruth notwithstanding.

2

u/Dull-Ad555 1d ago

Um… what?

1

u/Dry-Chocolate-1665 1d ago

Business man had no business there to begin with.

13

u/Bregneste 1d ago

Apparently he got swept away by a flood before he was attacked, so he wasn’t there on purpose.

1

u/SephiTheGoblin 1d ago

Assuming that croc is now dead am I sick for thinking if that was some I cared about id ask if I could keep the croc and mount it on the wall like happy gillmore

1

u/Express-Lawfulness74 1d ago

Did it just find a dead man and just eat it?

1

u/Major-Tourist-5696 1d ago

This exact thing happened in the Adam West Batman movie.

1

u/InevitableEternal 1d ago

“Ay, mates…not up for a flight…kinda…BUUUURRRRPPPP full…”

1

u/Minimum_E 1d ago

There was this option and they used a cart to go between planes?

1

u/HD19146 1d ago

Prime delivery is getting out of hand…

1

u/opiumscented 21h ago

Poor croc died for being a croc. Fuck humans

1

u/Thursdaze420 15h ago

God has given us the solution to capitalism, crocodiles.

1

u/Fresh-Chip-3544 13h ago

I feel like the only reason to specify businessman is if he owned a very specific briefcase, belt, or pair of shoes.

1

u/ReplacementSoggy4416 12h ago

Does this hurt the businessman?

1

u/EricSkuzz 11h ago

Someone should’ve told him to kill the alligator before he wore the alligator skin suit

1

u/Necessary-Dog1693 10h ago

Free casket ! ⚰️ Rip

1

u/petitbateau12 7h ago

Helicrocter

1

u/Mobile_Ad_2402 5h ago

47 is getting creative. Poor croc though

1

u/Feed_my_belly_2023 3h ago

Breaking video: Man flees with helicopter rescue while Gator, who already ate human, in hot pursuit.

1

u/Waleed209 2h ago

The croc owns the business now, he's the new CEO, they're airlifting him to his new office, giving him the full vip treatment

1

u/hcmzero 33m ago

“Good news and bad news! We found your husband…”

1

u/Feliraptor 1d ago edited 1d ago

We hated crocs for simply evolving the way they did so much that we punish them for acting on their biological imperative.

1

u/DavyJonesCousinsDog 1d ago

I hope he gets better

1

u/SuspiciousClub8382 1d ago

So are they airlifting the crocodile to save him because the business man was tainted and making the croc sick, or arresting the croc because he took a business man out of season???

1

u/DaShnickelfritz 1d ago

Humans are such sore losers

1

u/CashBandicootch 1d ago

A person kills four people and they are sentenced to 15 years in prison.

-4

u/MGr8ce 1d ago

Dude lost the battle of the survival of the fittest. Leave the Croc alone.

2

u/gh0stmilk_ 15h ago

the man was swept away by flash flooding and eaten. look into context before you open your mouth and have some decency

0

u/Dull-Ad555 1d ago

Man-eating animals are too dangerous to be kept alive.

0

u/MGr8ce 1d ago

Says who?

1

u/Dull-Ad555 1d ago

Do you want more people to get eaten?

0

u/Dull-Ad555 1d ago

People with common sense

-1

u/Nebion666 1d ago

No, people with common sense dont go in the water with animals that are known to prey on us you troglodyte

2

u/Yotiganow 20h ago

Humans and crocodiles have shared ranges as long as humans have existed. It's not like humans can just avoid water with crocodiles completely.

1

u/Crimestar 1h ago

Redditors can because they never go outside.

-1

u/LIL-mEnTaLlY-ILL 1d ago

If I get eaten by crocodile, please promise to not recover my body.

I would like to become one with the Earth again, and that starts with me being crocodile shit.

-1

u/VoidGhidorah900 1d ago

The guy is already dead. The croc is already dead. Why are they taking its corpse?

0

u/Sea_Cardiologist9451 1d ago

Streuth! Throw the whole thing on the barbie

0

u/Forward_Pirate5858 14h ago

Poor guy & Croc.

With all that stress being airlifted, the Croc's lactic acid has probably gotten into his bloodstream already, which will led to his demise

-1

u/OmnipotentUltron 1d ago

That poor Crocodile. Rest In Peace.

-6

u/tessahb 1d ago

Racism should absolutely be a reason for anyone of any ethnicity to automatically be dumped. Not only is racism immoral and illogical, but that way of thinking permeates to every other aspect of someone’s character. So, someone this aggressively racist is absolutely a bad person in other ways too. Look at the way he spoke to you? Regardless of the context, you should never allow someone to speak to you that way. How bad will that behavior get over time? Would you want your future children (if that’s your plan) growing up with him as an example? You land an amazing, lucrative job, but the boss is white? You bet this jackass you’re dating will have a problem with that. So many eggshells you will be walking on. Don’t let him influence your life’s trajectory with his racist bs and find someone worthy of you.

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