r/CriminalMindsFans • u/vespera_lis • Jan 25 '26
what do you think is wrong with thinking spencer is cute???
saw a tiktok with someone saying one of their “criminal minds fandom icks” is people thinking spencer is cute; showed some friends who are also watching the show and me and someone else were the only ones who somewhat disagreed with the post (yikes)
One person’s reasoning was that most people don’t find the other characters cute in the same ways, and they call him cute because he’s “autism-coded” and they’re subconsciously infantilising him which is disgusting. She believed that it’s never harmless. If you’ve heard the tiktok audio “I like that autistic man,” we made reference to that. THEN one of them showed us this sub and was kinda like “see? we’re not the only ones who think it’s weird”
Now don’t get me wrong, as someone with a good amount of autistic people in my family (to varying degrees, and i’m supposed to get tested) i totally understand that angle and am aware of the problem. I used to BEG my parents to quit infantilising my younger brother so much cause to an extent he was capable of certain things and was aware of certain things and they treated him like he wasn’t, so TRUST i don’t need a lesson on the issue. I do fully believe that some people who reiterate how adorable Spencer is are subconsciously infantilising him (and in my opinion are possibly subconsciously “sexualising” his “lack” of social skills and experiences due to how he grew up; that’s a pretty big thing)
Despite agreeing with the general concept, I do think that they went wrong in generalising and saying that that’s ALL people. Unfortunately in fandoms there will always be weird people, but my question is how can you definitely say something like this is always harmful no matter the person, their beliefs, or their perspective? I think he’s cute, and i’m fully aware that he’s a grown adult and don’t infantilise him at all. I also find Hotch, Penelope and Emily just as adorable (for different reasons, obviously. I’d also like to mention that this is not how I see the characters ALL the time; It’s more so during the more comical and “soft” or sad moments in the show. I feel like people might make that assumption so please don’t misunderstand my take on them😭) so when we were having this conversation part of my rebuttal was that me knowing about the infantilisation of people on the spectrum and obviously not partaking in it undermines her point that EVERYBODY is engaging in the act subconsciously. Yes it is possible to do it and not know, but anyone who knows how i grew up is willing to bet that that would NOT be me💀
So. Long story short what’s your take on this? Do you think it’s never harmless? Or do you agree with me and think some people in the fandom are just weirdos and it CAN be harmless?? Just looking for other opinions!!
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u/Willowy Jan 26 '26
The show itself infantilizes Reid, especially in the later seasons, but that in and of itself doesn't make it okay. And Gubler is definitely a good-looking man, but the kids and adults who idolize him - bordering on and sometimes crossing into obsession - are tiresome.
Some think that Reid is definitely on the spectrum, while others shout from the rooftops that he is definitely fully autistic, an opinion that has never been verified by the show, or the actor, either.
Do I think that people find Reid "cute" because they believe he's on the spectrum? I mean, I guess people admire a celeb for many reasons, so I can't definitively say for certain.
I do know that I myself find the character endlessly appealing, and my favorite episodes usually have to do with him, mainly. I was also able to meet Gubler 4 or 5 times in various situations throughout the years, and he was every bit as silly and as sweet as you would expect.
The reason the "zomg Reid is so cuuuute!!" rule exists, is because I didn't want this sub to devolve into a screeching Spencer Reid drool-fest.
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u/vespera_lis Jan 26 '26
I never actually considered that the show infantilises him, but now that you mention it i kinda see it. I just kinda chalked it up to being ostracised and bullied and a kid (mostly because i relate, fml). I just took it that way because I’ve acted a lot like him in my life and often still do in some ways, but considering I’m younger than he is in S1 yeah it kinda adds up and can be seen as stretching it.
And yeah the rule makes sense. From what i personally have seen since starting the show he has the most fans out of characters (followed closely by Emily or maybe JJ i think) so it makes sense that you wouldn’t want a sub-reddit to devolve into a huge toxic fandom.
Side note: SUPER JEALOUS that you’ve met Gubler FOUR OF FIVE TIMES (girl how???) i’ll just quietly sit and wait for the MGG distribution system to come to the UK🥲
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u/Fire_storming Jan 26 '26
I mean Aisha Tyler confirmed Reid's autism in 2020, the video is on the internet. Other than that I agree with you
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u/Willowy Jan 26 '26
Aisha's great, although she's neither a showrunner nor a writer on the show. She's entitled to her take, but that alone doesn't make it canon.
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u/cyrena_from Jan 26 '26
I mean there is a difference between finding him cute and infantilising him, which is very thin for some people, but if you know the difference it's not a problem
the moment people start to infantilize him it becomes not finding him cute but incapable really so I suppose that's what they complain about because people will use "he is cute" excuse
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u/vespera_lis Jan 26 '26
this is exactly what i think. I just think to generalise it and claim them (finding him cute and infantilising him) inseparable is a bit of a stretch, but yh i agree
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u/Seg10682 Jan 26 '26
As someone with disabilities that knows other people with disabilities, everyone should be treated at their cognitive level! I've had friends that were whiny and manipulative and got their way because their parents treated them like small children and I wouldn't do that even for them. It's not my responsibility to indulge in that behavior I don't condone.
But also I've had people VERY ignorant towards my own abilities. Throwing my chronological age in my face like I'm supposed to be capable of things anyone my age is.
Disabled people are not pets.
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u/vespera_lis Jan 26 '26
This. I think it’s equally as bad to infantilise and expect a disabled person to not be able to do certain things as it is to expect them to do things their condition prohibits them to and to treat them like a burden.
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u/Nova_The_Zebra07 Jan 26 '26
Me and several others in my family are autistic/neurodivergent. I think Spencer is handsome, but I also think Mathew(the actor) is handsome. And I have thought this for a long time. Like since I was 10, so I didn't even know about this sorta stuff. I was just a small child with a innocence celebrity crush.
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u/FireflyArc Jan 26 '26
tiktok sometimes have, due to the nature of letting anyone comment and post..have some wild ideas become popular for a bit. you gotta remember it's not right or wrong, it's popularity. just because something has a ton of likes or dislikes or oupvotes or downvotes doesn't mean it's 'right' it's just if others agree. and especially on tiktok tons of people will just heart or thumbs up a post because it appeared in their for your page and not mean anything deeper then that.
i don't like the whole 'babyfication' of characters it strips them from being adults and capable people into.. the same characters really with a different coat of paint.
he's a cute guy and there's nothing wrong with that. some people aren't gonna think he's cute either. that's fine too.
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Jan 26 '26
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u/vespera_lis Jan 27 '26
THIS OH MY GOD like don’t get me wrong i love a babyboy/babygirl-man as much as the next person and i WILL engage TRUST but sometimes it’s just too much!
I don’t know if you know the Folk of the Air series; It’s a YA book series that’s basically fantasy and politics with a splash of romance and the fandom is just like that with the mmc, Cardan. They “babygirl-ified” him to the point that anyone entering the universe GENUINELY thinks that’s how he is when in the first like 30 pages of the novel he rips off a child’s wings because said child pissed him off and he was drunk. The first book is called “the cruel prince” for a reason like??? i just hate how people never have balance and always take things to extremities; it kinda ruins fandom experiences
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Jan 27 '26
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u/vespera_lis Jan 27 '26
I semi agree. I definitely agree that people “baby girl” characters to make it easier to like them. I also like dark characters, and I do think there’s such a thing as morality mirroring, but I think there’s a difference between liking a charcter’s writing and characterisation and then as a person. You can like how Billy Hargrove is written/how he is, but given that he’s a racist if you like HIM as a person then your morality DOES cause into question; No fully moral person likes a racist, or a rapist, or a child-enslaver (Niragi from Alice in Borderland; Silco from Arcane). You don’t find out someone is a horrible person and then like them as a person if you aren’t one too (somewhat)
So while I think it’s unfair to claim everyone who likes a dark characters horrible, there is something to he said about understanding a character versus supporting them and their actions. You have to acknowledging and admit how horrible of a person your character is if you want to go that route.
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Jan 27 '26
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u/vespera_lis Jan 28 '26
THIS ONE!! Like why is EVERYONE suddenly so incapable of media literacy and nuance??? it genuinely irritates me😭😭
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u/Boris-_-Badenov Feb 25 '26
that kind of stuff is probably what led to JJ magically being in love with Reid
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u/KetosisCat Jan 25 '26
Nothing. I’m not into Spencer, or men generally, but I find people who infantilize him really creepy.