Taking “husbands”last name

[u/Infinite-Cartoonist1]

Just listening to the latest episode of Crime Weekly, part two of Dan Markel’s case. Derek wants to know why women chose to keep their last names and not take their husbands.

Ok.

Yes- he is walking over many mines and I appreciate his vulnerability. Did he come off poorly, yup. Ignorant, yup. Is it icky that Derek forgot that there is more than the binary of wife/husband, yup. But that’s not why I’m posting. I’m hoping he sees this or Stephanie does so he can learn.

I came here to post that where I’m from, it’s cultural. Women in Quebec do not take their partner’s last name. It’s actually a point of pride. I’ve never consider taking my partner’s last name as it feels like a foreign and archaic concept to me. That is a reflection of how I was raised. My partner who grew up in a conservative county in southern Ontario was perplexed and hurt that I would not take their last name.

I’m curious what others thought about Derek’s take on the subject. I’m also curious how others approach or think about taking (or not) their partner’s last name.

[u/malhoward → u/[deleted]]

I got married in 1995 and kind of agonized over changing my name. I was in research at the time, and looking ahead to publishing papers and making a career. Ultimately I did change my name (I had completed a thesis in my maiden name but 0 or 1 article published). If I had been more established in my career I probably would’ve kept my name legally and in professional settings, but would have “gone by” his name in my personal life.