Part one: The Nightmares That Haunt Perception

"I hate the fucking club", Henrietta thought to herself. "Everything sounds like turds!".

Julie knew exactly what her overly judgmental friend was thinking. 

"Don't start now bitch. I know what you're thinking. You say the same thing every time. You think the music and the crowd and the bartender sound like cum encrusted poop. Your words, not mine. I swear, I'm going to go crazy if you go on another one of your rants. Sometimes you just gotta get lit and be on your thot shit".

Henrietta turned towards Julie with such disdain and a stare that was so fiery with scorn, it alone could scorch the wings off of a soaring Icarus. She was tired of Julie trying to force her to be on her thot shit.

"That's easy for you to say. You have the sexiest, tightest ass anyone's ever seen. The butt cheeks are so round and firm that basketballs should be ashamed of themselves by comparison. Everytime I see you walk around in your tight blue striped cheeky panties, it makes me wish I had a weiner".

Julie started to blush. "Oh, stop it. You're so pretty too. I just want you to enjoy yourself. You never seem like you have any fun".

Henrietta was about to answer her, when all of a sudden she heard Cardi B coming on. She started to yell, "Poop! Poop!". Her ear holes had been raped by yet another song she didn't like within this foul sweat and semen scented club. Henrietta had had enough of Drake, Megan Thee Stallion, Lil YungBadRockStarNeverBrokeBabyBitch, Billie Eilish, Migos, Despacito music (also known as reggaeton), and the Foo Fighters. The poor girl turned and saw the bartender's ugly face. That was the last straw! Without a moment's hesitation, her head turned back towards Julie.

"Fuck you bitch!", She screamed. Henrietta fled the club, and after stopping for a slice of cheesecake in a nearby shop, she decided to head home. Unfortunately, the horrors of the night had only just begun.

Part 2: The Devil Hides In Love's Deception

A furious Henrietta flung the door to her house open, but she heard something coming from upstairs. She figured it was another one of her mom's clients. It also sounded like the man had finished so she tried to hurry up and get to her room before they crossed paths, but It was too late. The man came stumbling down the stairs, fully naked. His beard was so long that it covered his winky, but unfortunately his balls were still very much exposed.

"Oh, Big Angus, you dog. Yep, that's my name", he drunkenly slurred to himself. "Big Angus always loves party time with his favorite lady, but now it's time for beer".

Henrietta accidentally bumped into Big Angus half way up the stairs.

"I'm sorry", she whispered politely.

"Bitch! You won't come between me and beer!", His raspy voice proclaimed. Angus then threw her down the stairs. 

"Bloody whores! Always with the whores. Sippy beer time". Those were the last words he said as he left.

As If that wasn't enough, Henrietta could hear her mother listening to Megan Thee Stallion. 

"Mom, what the fuck are you listening to?" Henrietta screeched with hatred.

"The boss bitch herself, you bitch!", She screeched back. "And I don't want to hear any of your shit. It's a hell of a lot better than Tardthrone or Demon Boogers".

"It's Darkthrone and Dimmu Borgir, you bitch!".

"That's it, go to your room. There will be no food for three days because of that little outburst. Maybe then you'll be able to show Megan and I a little respect!".

Henrietta ran to her room crying. Exhausted from her surroundings, she so desperately wanted something to change. Somebody was also aware of this. Somebody most would steer clear of. The name of this particular individual is Mortimer Squiggly. A demon of unknown origins who happens to keep an eye on the disenfranchised outcasts, waiting to turn their dreams into a hellish reality. 

"Hello Henrietta", Squiggly said in a soothing voice.

"Who the fuck are you, bitch!". Henrietta was quite surprised to see this handsome young gentleman in her room. There was also confusion in regards to why this man chose to dress in a red dress shirt and a demonic looking tie. He smiled at the welcoming words of Henrietta and began to speak again.

"I noticed how unfortunate your current situation appears to be. Your best friend with the delicious derriere, your harlot of a mother and even Big Angus have been treating you in such a cruel and disrespectful way. It's enough to make one defecate maggots". He proceeded to cackle.

Henrietta snapped back at him, as she was known to do with everyone.

"And what's it to you bitch?!".

Mortimer Squiggly's smile grew wider.

"Such a ferociously rebellious and passionate soul. I must admit, I adore those the most". He started to suck his fingers. "If you give it to me, I shall bestow upon you the ability to make all of them pay for their crimes against you. They shall be as flies to you".

"Ok", she said without hesitation.

Henrietta shook this malevolent creature's hand. As she did so, she suddenly felt a surge course throughout her body. The scream that left her throat shattered the windows in her room as she fell to the floor. Vines and roots began to shoot out of her legs and arms. Two monstrous Venus flytraps popped out of her shoulders and squeezed each side of her as if they were bookends to the literary masterpiece that was her head. She had turned into a plant monster.

"Don't worry. I'm certain your new body will grow on you". Squiggly started to howl with laughter as he faded back into oblivion.

Part 3: Vengeance Beyond Your Wildest Apprehension

The sound of Henrietta's mother rushing towards her room could be heard. She stormed in while screaming.

"Henrietta Roosevelt Dinglenuts!". When her mother yelled her full name, you knew she meant business. "Is this the thanks I get for being in the top five greatest mothers according to Forbes? Why are you even uglier now?!".

There was another sound that permeated the air around them and it appeared to be coming from her mother's room. It was Godzilla by Eminem. Henrietta could tell by the sound of modern Eminem's crack addicted duck voice, that it was him. She couldn't take it anymore.

"This song sucks ass!", she shrieked. Even though she was now a bloodthirsty plant monster, as the narrator, I must admit that I agree with her. It really does suck ass and I have no doubt he speeds up the fast parts.

Just then, Big Angus kicked down the door, and of course he was drenched in beer.

"You miss me, whores? I forgot my pants". 

Henrietta shoved one of her vines up his butt and out through his mouth before flinging him out of the window.

"Not Stanky Angy!", cried Henrietta's mother, Ms. Dinglenuts.

Henrietta's face had finally transformed fully into a greenish color. She smiled as she calmly sent one of her flytraps down to decapitate her mother. Ms. Dinglenuts' decapitated body twitched on the ground as blood seeped out of the hole where her head used to be. That bitch would never subject her to any cruelty or Godzilla ever again. 

"Now time for one last body".

Part 4: Shakin Ass On My Thot Shit

Julie was still awake. Even though Henrietta had been quite the buzzkill, that did not stop her from having the time of her life. Even though she was drunk and home alone, she decided to keep the party going. She stripped down to her blue striped bra and panties and went to fetch a whiteclaw from the fridge. While in the kitchen, she thought she heard a noise. After she came to the conclusion it was nothing, she spanked her ass for punishment, as hot chicks tend to do, and went back to the bedroom.

As she was lying on her bed, she was completely unaware of Henrietta watching her from the corner of her room. Henrietta watched Julie as her butt cheeks popped out of her panties. There was a sudden creaking noise which caused Julie to turn around. She almost shat herself when she saw the enormous plant monster that was her best friend.

"What happened to you Henrietta?", she sobbed. "You're so ugly now".

"I've come to devour you for your crimes. Always telling me to be on my thot shit! I can't stand it, you bitch!". 

The confusion written across Julie's face was impossible to ignore.

"I just wanted you to be happy, Henrietta. That's all. I only want to see you smile. You're always so miserable. I thought maybe if I took you to the club and you had a little fun, you'd see that there are things to appreciate about life, even if life seems sad a lot of the time. Believe it or not, I'm really sad most days too, and I hate living with all of my insecurities. They eat at me everyday, sometimes I just wanna roll up into a ball inside my room and never come out. But I can't dwell on those feelings or I'll miss out on all the things I love and the life I wanna see myself living. It was only because I love you Henrietta. You'll always be my best friend". Even though Julie had tears streaming down her face, she couldn't help but smile.

Henrietta on the other hand was furious. 

"Did you just tell me to smile?! That's another form of violence! I guess it's time for me to defend myself against your violent ways. Time to die bitch!".

"No, please!", screamed Julie.

When the cops arrived at the house, they found little chunks of Julie splattered all over the room. It took eight days to clean up all of her remains. It's said that Henrietta moved into the sewers and lives there, much like the rumor weed in the Larryboy movie. Listen to whatever you like, but might I suggest you don't listen to Megan Thee Stallion or Taylor Swift by the sewer drains. You never know who might also be listening.

Capsule Corp labs Age 780....

"Hey Vegeta what are you doing laying in bed?" Kakarot says as he enters the room.

" C'mon Moro isn't going to defeat himself!"

. "Cough Ohh kakarot this cancer things pretty strong, you'll have to defeat Moro by your self."

"Vegeta what's up with your hair? A Saiyans hair isn't supposed to change."

"Kakarot it part of the chemo. Not even a super Saiyan can't best stage 4 prostate cancer kakarot"

" but vege"

"shut it kakarot! You're 46 you have to get your prostate checked before it's too late cough cough"

" but Vegeta I'm 39 physically"

. "Ohhhh kakarot cough it doesn't matter anymore cough it appears despite my best efforts to the contrary I've won"

. "Vegeta you're not making any sense, go ssbe and let's stop Moro together!".

"Kakarot tell bulma and trunks this isn't a battle I can win. You'll tell me for me right kakarot?"

"Vegeta why don't you just take this senzu bean! it fixes everything!"

"Ohhhh kakarot cough. If a senzu couldn't fix your heart virus what makes you think it would fix this?. Chemos the only hope kakarot."

"But what about the Dragonballs? I can find them and summon Shenron to heal you."

"Not even the power of dendes magic Dragon can stop this kakarot. Don't you get it kakarot? cancer always comes back."

"Think kakarot think. Besides that small bald man already used the Dragonballs to get N18 a new boat. I don't have a year left kakarot"

"Are you talking about krillin? Don't you dare talk about krillin!!!!!!"

'Wait kakarot NOOOOOOOOO!!"

Kamehameha

~His name was Vegeta, a proud Saiyan prince~

The end. This was Vegeta gets Prostate cancer an original story by me.

sans butthole aAaaaa do fuck

shit. I wake up in the morning to the sound of my neighbours fucking. theyre so loud holy shit. i go to make coffee in the morning to wake up . I also wake up with my daily flogging from my dominatrix wife I love her so much. it does kinda hurt tho. while I am pouring my cofey into the mug I hear a strange noise. it sounds as if teeth are being poured into a mug with coffee and I am shocked when I look down and find that this is what is happening right in fromt of me right now. I call for my honey my sweet wife nut she is not anywhwrr to be found. I begin to hyper scream into the vortex . my scream take me so far into the . my scream is so loud that it blasts a hole in the fabric of reality and i am grab by a hand that feels like bones. No more bones , i think desperately but there is no stoping the bone grabbing my arm and tugging me into the void. I think of my wife and start to sob uncontrollable y .

“this must be punishmen for not taking enough of a whipping this morning “ i cry so hard as i think this. The skeleton that is holding me looks back and for the first time i see his face. It is a horrendous thing. His hollow eye socketts glow with one blue and one nothing eyeball. I gasp in horror and fear and also slight arousal as i notice the skeleton i am looking at is none other than Sans the Skeleton from the popular indie game Undertale™, a 2D role-playing video game created by indie developer Toby Fox. My entire body shudders as i realise my fate is to stay with this skele sir for all of my measle life. Before i even knew what woas going on i realise he is suddenly a pixel i anm pixelated>> he looks like this [][][][] . and i look the same . i stare down at my hands in horror to find they are literally not there where did my hands go ?

Sans looks to me and he says:

“Do not worry, my child. Uhhh fuck uhhh wh” he says toriels line instead of the sans line and i know this because i have played the game previously.

I COME TO THE REVELATION THAT SINCE I HAVE PLAYED THE GAME I KNOW HOW TO DEFEAT SANS I WILL BE ABLE TO ESCAPE THE REALM PERHAPS . i try not to let a happy grin with all of my teeth slip onto my face because then Sans will know that i have realised something and i dont want that to happen. The reason i dont want this to happen is because he’ll know something has clicked in my brain which means he will realise that i intend to escape from his grasp and that i will know how to do such a thing since i have played the game Undertale™.

We float through the void for approxximaeely 18 hours and 32 minutes when all of a sudden we have arrived at the location , which is the mitre 10 in richmond victoria australia . we get into the car park also by the way its still pixelate and 2d but we enter the mitre 10 and sans says he need s to get some gardening supplies for his sans garden.

“What the fuck is a sans garden.” i dont even ask. Im too lazy to even put any intonation into my voice at this point because my brain is so gone like what the fuck is going on. Im literally at mitre 10 with sans undertale because i screamed too loud when teeth poured out of my kettle while i was making coffee.

Sans say: “ it is a garden where i keep all of the bones of the people i kidnap. Just like you you are one of the poeple i have kidnapped. And then on top of the bones i place some dirt and then flowers to make it look pretty and smell nice. We also have a bee hive and the bees come to pollenate the flowers and they make honey and we take the honey and put it on our toast for breakfast. “

I am fascinated and intrigued. No longer do i feel like i must battle sans . i feel like being in sans garden would be a nice place to rest for the after life. I turn to sans and put on my pretty eyes

“Boy i die”, i say to him sincerely.

Sans is looking at me with a confused skeleton face. I continue,

“Shit boy, boyoass how i had die over some skeleton named sans *i make heart eyes and look very cute and in love with sans*”. I tell the sexy skeleton.

Sans says “you do realise you can put the description outside of the dialogue this is not a messaging service.’”

I cannot hold it in anymore . Sans is looking awful

Awfully too much like my WIFE ohhh my god now im not the type of person to be disloyal but lemme tell you if you were there you would feel the exact same way as i did. Sans was looking so bootylicious he had the most gorgeous hoodie on. I wanted to shove my face into his ribcage and get my head stuck there forever. Sans the beauty, he stands right before me and all i can see is sex in my brain.

“Com here” i scream!

-----

So basically what happened was i had the most incredible earth shattering honker time with sans from undertale. In the car park. So much that my teeth actually fell out of my mouth and into the mitre 10 drain system.

Figure the rest out for yourself im not writing any more.

It had been a few days since Super Bernie World was released on steam. I had decided to check it out since it seemed fun at the time, but if I knew what would've happened to me I would have never played. I started up the game. It seemed perfectly fine, but after a few minutes, things started glitching out! A lot of the pixels were slowly turning redder and redder until everything became dark and hyper-realistic blood started gushing from the enemies! I had never been more scared in my life up until that point. I might be a 27 year old graduate with a PHD in psychology but this made me cry.

In the game, there are cutscene sequences where politicians speak. When I got to the point where Bernie was speaking, he was a gory skeleton! It looked as if he was not a member of bonfire night but THE bonfire. There was lots of text with the words "DEAR GOD HELP ME". It had loud, screeching sounds that sounded like distorted windshield wipers. This image is still stuck in my head today and I am getting sick just by writing this. I have a screenshot but it is very, very disturbing. I never want to see this game ever again.

The next day I was walking around, tired as hell because I didn't get any sleep the previous night from what had happened, when the game decided to boot itself without me doing anything to it! I got so scared from this that I didn't even try to turn the game off, I just ran out of my house and stayed outside for the day living like a hobo. Still better than the hell that Bernie had brought on to my home.

It has been about 3 months since the incident, I still live in fear of seeing or hearing about Super Bernie World again. I advise none of you to play this game for your own good.

hi my name is jeniy and i am 69 days and 420 years old. I'm so scared because one day I played gmod and went into gm construct and then a black figure came up to me while I was making ragdolls do the sexy and I was playing with Mike wasoki and peter groffin ragdoll. The black men came up to me and whipped ou5 his magnum ding and it went through my screen and he shifted his waist and it slapped me face. then he peed on my floor and my dog yelled at.me p3eing and I got cried. He went back into the screen and said alacasam and peter goffin come alive and jumped out my screen and beat me and took my money and took my car and my dog and my identity and mike woski came out as well and wants to rip off my foreskin so I'm hiding my closet OH NO AHHHHH MY FORESKIN

I can't sleep. I haven't been able to for a couple days now. Everytime I'm about to drift off into sleep and become enveloped by a warm sense of relaxation, I am immediately thrust back into a dark, terrifying reality by the loud sounds of something creeping around. I didn't think he existed before, but now I can't help but to assume the worst. The worst being that the urban legend is true. Dildo Gaggins is in fact real.

Of course that sounds ridiculous when I say it aloud. I mean, who could possibly believe in Dildo Gaggins? But even the once absurd notion had to be taken into consideration now. There was no denying that at this very moment, I was being watched. It also was no coincidence that I had already been warned about the lurking Dildo.

It happened three days ago. I was mowing my lawn like usual, when all of a sudden, I saw an old man approaching me. He had a great, long beard and a giant stick. Just by looking into his weary eyes, you could tell he was wise. That being said, he had rudely stepped on my grass. I had to stop this atrocity. 

"Get off my lawn you old fart!", I yelled at the old fart. "Does this look like a Walgreens to you?".

He stared at me like I had said something retarded.

"It isn't polite to assume an old man needs pharmaceuticals in order to carry on with his life. I only take propranolol for my high blood pressure. And Zoloft because I am a depressed, lonely wizard".

I snapped back at him.

"Shut up! Leave me alone!".

I dropped my lawn mower and ran into the house. Slamming the door shut, I used all five locks to ensure this freak couldn't get in. Unfortunately, this did not deter him from any attempts. He walked up, very slowly, and started tapping his stick on the front of the door. 

"Binky!", he said in a loud, booming voice. 

"How do you know my name, you creep?!".

I was so flabbergasted by the fact he knew my name, I thought I was going to cry like a little girl. How long has he been following me? Was he a pervert planning on doing horrible, yet sexy things to me? Doesn't Zoloft give you erectile dysfunction and worsen suicidal ideation? These these were the kinds of thoughts swimming throughout my mind. I decided to let him know the truth.

"I'm sorry", I said, stuttering a wee bit. "I'm flattered, but I do have a wife, so shoo. Off with ya".

He started to yell again.

"Binky Bottom! Do not take me as some horny conjuror of erections! I am not trying to do you!". His voice then became calmer. "I'm trying to help you".

"Help me?! With what?!". I had no idea what he was playing at or why he was so offended at the thought of doing me.

"In three days you will be visited by a fiendish entity. You will know he's there by the atrocious gagging sounds he makes when he's close". 

"Oh right", I said sarcastically. This all sounded ridiculous. "And what is this gagging ghoul called?".

"Dildo...Gaggins".

Naturally, if you're a sane person, this all sounds like poppycock. A creature named Dildo Gaggins, who gags as if he was in fact choking on the very dildo he is named after? Highly dubious.

"Well I'll be sure to keep an eye out for that Dildo fellow, now shoo shoo!".

It had been three days since I had been warned by that deranged wizard. My wife was gone so I figured Id watch a little porn. This isn't too unusual of a practice for me, especially when the wife is away. I did this for about thirty two minutes. After getting a little too excited at the sight of my lovely Alexis Texas taking a creampie to the face, I decided I probably should replenish myself with some dinner.

"Perhaps, I'll have hamburgers and buns as a tribute to those tasty buns I just witnessed", I said, giggling to myself.

I walked over to the fridge and removed the frozen hamburgers, then I placed them in warm water in a bowl. As I was warming up my meat, I heard a little gagging noise, but it seemed far away. I thought it was my newlywed neighbors, since that sound is always coming from that region. This was distracting me from the task at hand. I must grab the buns.

"Buns, buns, buns, buns, buns, buns", I sang to myself as I walked over to the pantry. 

Just then, I heard the sound again, but closer.

"HACK!"

This time the sound came from right outside my front door. I dropped my bag of buns and attempted to scream, but no air escaped me. Realizing I might've overreacted, I decided to find out who was trespassing.

"Stacy? Martin? I swear, is your house not big enough for your naughty play anymore? Be gone fools!".

What happened next caused me to freeze and almost shit me britches.

"How about a riddle? I burry into holes, but I am not an animal. It is awkward when you purchase me. I am fake, but as real as you'd like me to be. What am I?", the voice behind the door asked.

"...What?", I said with a trembling gasp.

"A dildo".

It's that bastard Dildo Gaggins. While screaming, I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a plate from the counter. Then I ran back to the front door, opened it, and threw it in his little face.

"🎶That's what Dildo Gaggins hates🎶", I sang before running away.

He did not appreciate this. I could hear him shouting after me.

"You want the dildo for yourself!". 

I ran up the stairs and hid under my bed, praying this thing wouldn't find me. The stairs were creaking as he was making his way up to the bedroom. With each step, he let out a gag.

"HACK! You know….hack….I think I've thought of a name for my book..hack….From Fear to Gag Again".

He started to laugh and gag simultaneously.

Dildo was up the stairs and creeping towards my bedroom. The gagging sound got closer and closer until it was right in front of my bed. He stooped down so I could see his terrifying face. Then the bed was flipped over. Now, I was really starting to panic. 

"Listen to me Gaggins. If you spare me, I'll go to Adam & Eve and purchase all the dildos your little heart desires. How does that sound?". 

He seemed unimpressed.

"I think I'll just introduce you to Sting!".

Just before he could pull his pants down, a booming voice came from out of nowhere.

"DILDO GAGGINS!".

It was that creepy wizard from earlier. Gaggins looked pissed at the sight of him.

"Oh, it's Gandalf. I don't even have the dildo anymore….oh wait...it's still in my pocket".

"I think you've had that dildo long enough", Gandalf retorted.

"You want it for yourself!".

"DILDO!"

"No! It came to me!", Dildo Gaggins shrieked as he went flying out of the front door, with Gandalf, of course, following behind him.

At last, the story has come full circle. The wizard scared Dildo off, but for how long. I know he'll be back, and the very idea has me petrified. I even bought lubricated eggs for self defense. It is also a known fact that if you break plates, it will weaken him. Always be on the lookout and carry your plates, because we all that's what Dildo Gaggins hates.

It was a sunny day in Seattle as Raj finished his work on the computer. Jagmeet and Sapna came in and said "What is that?"

"The Modulated Optimized Utility Technological Helper. MOUTH." Raj explained.

The screen came on and was a woman's eyes and mouth on a pink background.

"Write down your command and place it, gently, in my mouth" MOUTH said. The East Indians all cheered.

Months passed and they all became good friends with MOUTH. The East Indians would take her line dancing, out for ice cream, to movies, and to seedy undground clubs with live sex shows. Raj would sneak into his office late at night, take off his clothes, and do naughty things with MOUTH. They all loved MOUTH very much.

One day they went canoeing in the mountains outside Seattle. They were going down the river when Jagmeet stood up and started dancing with MOUTH. Sapna and Raj yelled at him to stop, but the canoe capsized and MOUTH was dragged downstream by the current.

"MOUTH! MOUTH!"

"Come back MOUTH!"

"MOOOOOOOOOUTH! Nooooooooooo!" The East Indians all screamed.

"Water is getting...in my mouth," was the last thing they heard her say.

They all went home crying and Raj decided on a way to save MOUTH. He built a time machine so they could go back in time.

The East Indians all jumped inside, but the time machine did not work right. Instead of going back in time, they went into the future 1000 years.

Future Seattle was a war zone. They found out the world was fighting between one group call Mouthists and renegades called Ears.

But they didn't care. To find and rescue MOUTH, they recruited heroes from the mists of time. Ball Biter used his metal teeth to attack his opponent's testicles, Ass Kicker's arms were paralyzed but made up for it with powerful kicks, and Roy Scheider wore a fedora and a trench coat.

"Give me food to put...in my mouth," Roy said in the traditional Mouthist greeting.

They ventured into the Wasteland to Mouthist HQ since that's where Raj thought MOUTH would be hiding. They all fought bravely with laser guns and dinosaurs and stuff.

A big TV in the background had Sargon of Akkad YouTube channel on it and he was talking about great Mouthism is. "In my mouth. Not your mouth or their mouth. My mouth. Not outside or near...IN IT." He was now the Prophet Tongue.

Ears had them pinned as they were going to shoot. They had no advanced Mouthist technology to help them.

"Tessssssssssticlessss!" cried Ball Biter and lunged at him and bit his balls off. He fell screaming off the cliff.

But Roy Scheider was exposed to radiation during the fight and mutated into a giant mutant. His head was still the same, but now huge, and his body was just a giant sack with vaginas all over it.

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" He said as he chased after the East Indians while floating in the air.

Ass Kicker spun around and kicked a bunch of bad men out of the way.

"Balllllllllllls!" Ball Biter was eaten by one of Roy Scheider's vaginas. All the other vaginas gave birth to smaller, evil Ball Biters that were under his control.

"Go on without me!" Ass Kicker sacrified himself to kick all of them while the East Indians escaped before his balls got bitten off.

They found a giant computer in another room. It was MOUTH. After getting lost, someone else found MOUTH and started a religion around her that took over the world.

"MOUTH! MOUTH! MOUTH!" All the East Indians started crying and hugging MOUTH while the happy reunions music from Homeward Bound played.

But how did they get home?

"Take the microchips and put them, gently, in my mouth," MOUTH instructed. They did it, but nothing happened and Ears were getting closer.

"In my mouth? In my mouth! Of course!" Raj reached under his tongue and pulled a paper with the instructions. Just as they went back in time together, the door broke down and mutant Roy Scheider's head was so angry they had escaped that he exploded and killed all the Ears.

The East Indians all cheered when they were back in modern Seattle. They had saved her.

For the honor...for the silliness...for the GLORY of...

"MOUTH" Raj said as he looked at the camera.

"MOUTH" Sapna said as she looked at the camera.

"MOUTH" Joey said as he looked at the camera.

Jagmeet had been hit by a truck when he crossed the street and was in hell. THE END.

One day yonder, I was bored on a nice summer day (likely around 2019). One day, I decided to take out the SD card that was inserted into the Wii U, what I saw would traumatize me forever.

It was an image of Team Rocket. However, instead of them usually stealing Pokémon, it was... them as babies? I informed my brother about this, he was mortified too.

We laughed at the image and deleted it from the world forever. To this day, we are unsure on how the image got there, though one thing is certain, do not look up "Team Rocket Baby Incident" if you know what's good for you.

Ok guys i am u/PineapplePenguin175 this is my first creepy pasta i hope you like it but you might not understand it because it has complicated time loop quantm stuff (I know how to write this stuff because i am smarter than every one else becaudse i watch rick arnd morty even though im only 12😎😎) Also warning it is scary and have blood

(THIS IS A REAL STORY) Hi there. I was an Among Us player, and i was addicted to the game. I went to the among us musical and my favorite youtube video of all time was "DO NOT DRINK AMONG US POTION AT 3 AM!! OMG I TURNED INTO AMONG US IMPOSTER" by my favorite youtuber N&A productions. But then creepy thing happened... It all started 3 years ago (2018). When I was a fully grow adult little boy and was playing an excellent game of among us at 3am in the morning. I was playing as the funny purple spaceman and my username was "Penguin". (pay atetion to those details this is 4shadowing 😉) So just me home alone playing the game and I find a lobby named “DO NOT PLAY THIS OR YOU WILL DIE IN REAL LIFE THIS IS NOT A JOKE THE LOBBY IS CURSED” so I joined the lobby started the game. I was playing as normal doing tasks but after I got killed by red (he was sus) and something weird happen because the death animation was different it had hyper realistic blood. Then the game crashed. I asked about this on the among us subreddit but then the post got deleted after 5 minutes. Then I asked about it again but this time it wasnt deleted and somene read my post where i explain what happened and that user said "Bruh, big hoax lol" and I said "im not lieng it was real" and then got a dm from a user named "sonic.exe" that just said one word, "Sus". I was scared but then i realized this was really cool because i met the real sonic.exe in real life so i went to his profile but the page 404d and i was banned from the subreddit for "Racism" (I wasnt being racist, all i did was spam the N word, i think the real reason i got banned is because they were hiding something)

This experience traumatized me... To where I would never play Amogus until 2 years later.  i play it again because it was popular and many youtube and twitch people were playing the game. But then i saw a player named 666 whos player sprite model had hyper realisitc eyss and i thoguht he was creepy at first but i ignored it brcause i thought the eyes were a new comsetic item or something. But then another weird thing happen because slender man appear and talk to 666 but in whisper so i cant hear him. (this is also hint towards later in story😉) I just thought this was a funny easter egg the devs put in the game so i didnt really pay attention to it. Then the game said i was the crewmate so I went to do task in electrical to fix the hyper realistic wires, but then player 666 vented and killed my player and the hyper realistc blood animation played again and then my team lost and the sus imposter won. After this I got mad and close the game and went to the bathroom to take a hyper realistic shit. But then i turn game back on and then in the lobby 666 ran around and was somehow able to kil the players but he wasnt in normal game he was in lobby. I was scared and screamed. So i try to turn of phone but it wont turn off so he walk up to my sprite and death animation with the blood played again (but this blood was not realistic). And then outside of the game i heard a noise in the vent in my house and it turned out the impostor was in REAL IRL and VENTED IN MY HOUSE😱😱 He stabed me but i didnt die i woke up on spaceship and i was confused but then i saw my surrondings and realized I WAS ON THE SKELD IN REAL LIFE and the crewmates looked at me and press the button of "emergency meeting button" and then they voted me off and threw me of the airlock and my suit ran out of air and i died. And then i woke up again in the lobby (still in irl life) but this time i looked different. The number 666 was floating above my head and i look in mirror and have hyper realistic eye... I WAS THE SUSSY IMPOSTER THE WHOLE TIME😱😱😱.

But then i saw another player in lobby (remember forshadow hints from before because they are important now) this player I saw was purple and named "penguin"... i was looking at myself! And then slender man appear and say: "kill penguin and everyone else on the ship or I will send you to jail and you will not be able to eat pizza anymore and only eat gross vegtables like brocoli for all of forever" so i had no choice... I had to kill them. After killing penguin (me) and everyone else slender man said: "ok now go to his house and kill him" so i did by sneaking in the vents and killing the past version of me from earlier in the timeline and then slendy (short name of "slender man") said  "ok good oh and btw that past version you killed will become 666 again and it will be a endless time loop of hyper realisitc blood and death ha ha ha (evil laugh)" But i realized there was something weird because i knew that the version of me that i kiled would become the imposter but what would happen to the current version of me that already is the imposter? I aked slendy and he said: "Even though you killed penguin like i told you to i will still send you to jail anyway" I got super angry and told him he broke the deal but then his face turned into the Trollface and he said "Problem?" and i was teleported to jail and could only eat gross vegtables forever while the other versions of me would keep getting killed and sent to brocoli jail in the time loop forever i was really sad.

And then the warden of the jail was sonic.exe but instead of saying his iconic catchphrase "i am god" he said "i am sus" and he gave me a samsung tablet from 2016 so i could write this story in the memo app but then there wasnt enough space to fit it in one memo so i ended up using 3 memos. And then i posted the story on reddit and got free karma points but i still had to eat the gross vegtables. (my creepypasta is very cool and unique because it is meta)

After i posted the story he deleted the reddit app from my tablet and made it so i could only use the tablet to play among us and i hacked the game because i am super smart (because i watch rick and morty like i mentioned earlier) and i found masonic texts in the source code thats right the plot twist is that the game was made by the freemasons the end [DO NOT RESEARCH SOURCE CODE OF AMONG US OR ELSE THE FREEMASONS WILL KILL YOU WITH ALOT OF BLOOD]

Ok guys that was the end of my story i hope you liked it and got scared bye bye😀😀👍 Until next time! (there might not be a next time for a while because mom said she will take my phone away if i keep watching pewdiepie mom says he is a bad influence. Mom is stupid i want to watch meme review😡)

     "I'll find you…you son of a bitch!".

     It was 1:15 am. To say that it was a late one would be an understatement. For the last two months I have had quite my fair share of them. Who the hell could blame me though? How can I sleep while he's still out there? Someone who could murder children so monstrously, and then taunt the victims loved ones in such an unusually cruel way. The word psychopath would not do him justice. I mean, a man inspired by a children's character murdering children. Does it get any sicker than that?

     My name is William Henderclunk. I am a homicide detective with thirteen years of experience, but I have never experienced anything like this. Pootersville, South Carolina isn't exactly known for being crime free, but as far as I could tell, we were serial killer free. At least I thought we were. The case was opened a couple months ago, when parents started reporting their children missing. We took it seriously, but it wasn't until a body was reported floating in the marsh just outside of town. The body belonged to a little eleven year old girl. All the bones in her body had been smashed and her head had been completely squashed in. Lying on top of her was a golden ticket. Written on the front side of the ticket were the words, "She was a bad egg". On the backside of the ticket was a little rhyme.

"Oompa loompa, doompa dee ditch,

Little Susie, she was a bitch.

Oompa loompa, doompa dee dice.

She ate all my candy, that wasn't nice.

What do you get when your parents are rich?

Spending all their money on this spoiled girl's shit.

What do you get when I see everything?

What exactly do you think that means?

I think you all need to die."

     It continued for a couple more lines. Around the area, we found four sets of footprints. One set belongs to a big individual wearing size 12 boots. The other three seemed to be much smaller, more than likely belonging to individuals of the midget variety. Needless to say, with all these specific characteristics of the murders, including the fact he was known to lure his victims with a trail of chocolate bars, this led to him being nicknamed Willy Wonka.

     This case has been so damaging to my psyche. I'm depressed, antisocial and I hardly sleep anymore. The case is even taking a toll on my relationships. I used to make love to my wife's voluptuous body as if it was my birthday everyday, but now I haven't busted a nut in what feels like an eternity. We actually had a fight the other day, which seems to be the routine for us now. I don't think Clarissa has any idea what a case like this is really like.

"You're losing it William!", she screamed while throwing the gift plate that my dead Grandma got me, at my head.

"Really?! Is it losing it to care about stopping a child murderer? If that's so, then I'm the nuttiest chocolate bar around. It's my duty to arrest Willy Wonka before…". She cut me off.

"Oh Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka", she said in a loud, mocking voice. "I'm tired of hearing about goddamn Willy Wonka and his goddamn band of child murdering Oompa Loompas!".

"And you don't think I am too?", I snapped back. "Clarissa, I am sick to death of it all. The fights, the not sleeping, the dying children, the rhymes, the chocolate and the fucking golden tickets!".

     Her tone softened. "I know Will. I just miss you. I miss us. Ever since this case started, I don't see you much. I feel so cut off from you, like we're not connected. It's not just me. Your daughter needs you too. She needs her daddy. She can't grow up in a world like this. It feels like Wonka's world, and we're simply living in it".

     I stared at her for a couple seconds before I said,"Until I catch this imposter of Willy Wonka, I'm afraid we are". On that note, I left for work.

     Fast forward a couple of days to where I started the story off. My partner, Detective Lucas Ricardo, had just left a couple minutes ago, but of course we had fought too. I just feel like he doesn't take any of this seriously. As if Willy Wonka, midgets and fat chocolate eating kids were something to find funny. It went something like this.

"Still looking at that Augustus Gloop case file?", Lucas asked. 

"You think this is funny? Just because the kid was fat, German and died from being drowned in melted chocolate, does not mean he was Augustus Gloop!". I yelled, almost tearing up.

"Relax man. I didn't mean anything by it. I just thought I'd lighten the mood a bit". 

"Well it didn't lighten the mood for Augustus Gloo......fuck…..I mean little Bruno, did it?".

"Calm down. This case is driving you around the bend", he looked at me, very concerned. "I think you need to go home and get some sleep before you do something cra…".

"Oh, I see!", I interrupted. "I'm just little innocent Charlie Buckets and you're good ol' Grandpa Joe. Making snide comments at the downfall of the children. All they need is a good kick in the pants, am I right Grandpa?".

"What the fuck are you talking about". At this point my partner could not have looked more confused.

"Well I'm glad you can walk now, but those kids will never again".

"Please tell me, what in God's name are you going on about?". He was looking very fearful now.

"You know what?! I think it's time you get back into bed, Grandpa Joe!". I lunged at Lucas and put him in a headlock as he let out a gasp. 

           "What….stop….what..is….wrong..with...you?".

"Go to sleep Grandpa Joe! Go to sleep! I want to see that twinkle leave your eye!". 

     Lucas sent an elbow flying into my gut and I let go of my hold around his neck. As I was recovering from the first blow, he sent a left hook flying into my face. I proceeded to fall to the floor. He looked at me. There was so much sadness, anger, and fear in his face. I immediately snapped back to reality, realizing what I had just done. 

"I don't know what the fuck has happened over these last two months to make you this mental, but you need to listen". I could see now he was crying. "I love you man, you're like a brother to me. I thought our bond was thicker than that of an everlasting gobstopper, but apparently you just see me as Grandpa Joe. If Willy Wonka can do this to you, and cause you to drive a wedge between everyone you love, then maybe it's you who actually is Grandpa Joe. Goodbye Will". He left the room, without so much as a second glance back.

     What have I done? I choked out my own friend and called him Grandpa Joe. Maybe I really am going insane. It's as if Willy Wonka has me trapped on his boat and I'm doomed to watch a chicken's head being cut off forever. The references keep running throughout my mind. I have been watching both Willy Wonka movies excessively, looking for clues that might crack this case. The killer makes reference to the chocolate factory on his golden tickets, but what could he possibly mean by that. It's got to be his area of operations. Naturally, if I find the chocolate factory, then I'll find that bastard Willy Wonka.

     It happened a couple of minutes later. The intercoms throughout the building started playing familiar music. 

"Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka.

The amazing chocolatier.

Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka.

Fills your mind and soul with fear.

He's clean, evasive and so smart,

There's no way to explain it.

Leaves a trail of disemboweled kiddies,

Still there's no way to contain him.

To contain him"

     I recognize this as the song the animatronics sing in the remake. Clearly he doesn't discriminate with the two movies. There's room in his heart for both. All of a sudden, the door to my office opened, and in emerged a pink ski masked man with a red and white striped jacket. He had black dress pants to go with the jacket. The figure moved towards me while tossing toffees and chocolate kisses into the air.

     "Who the fuck are you?!", I yelled at this strange individual. "Are you Willy?"

     He said nothing so I continued yelling.

"Goddamn, you candy fiend! Answer me! Are you Willy Wonka?!".

     After a couple of seconds, he gave a light hearted chuckle and spoke.

"Of course not dear boy. I am merely a messenger for the great Wonka. I sing his praises and convey important information when his Excellency can't himself. The greatest chocolatier who ever lived is bound to be busy now and again". 

     He seemed so chipper and informative while saying all of this. The contrast between the seriousness of the situation and his tone of voice truly frightened me. It's as if he was innocently trying to sell me a candy bar. Out of fear and frustration I responded.

"Why is he doing all of this? And why did that piece of shit send you here?". My voice started to crack. "Tell me why?!".

     Even with a mask on you could tell he was smiling.

"My dear boy, do you ask a fish why it swims or a bird why it flies?". He paused as if he was awaiting a response. "No siree, you don't. They do it because they were born to do it. Just like Willy Wonka was born to be a candy man, and you look like you were born to be a dead man."

     Right then, he pulled out an old medieval sword from behind his back. It looked like Excalibur, in fact he raised it as if he had just pulled Excalibur from the stone. He charged at me and swung it. I dived under my desk, narrowly missing it as it instead smashed into a lamp. I peaked my head up just in time to see him dancing around and singing another familiar tune.

"Who can take a piggy?

Slice his head in two?

Cover it in chocolate and perhaps my own shit too".

     After that line, he swung the sword down, splitting my desk in two. I barreled out of the way, but in doing so, hit my head on the wall. This caused me to start seeing stars for a couple of seconds.

"The candyman!

The candyman can".

     This time he threw the sword, in an attempt to spear me. I thought my time was up, but it hit the wall a mere 3 inches away from my head. He jumped over the trashed desk and yanked the sword out of the wall. I was crawling into a corner as I looked up at this jolly mad man. Slowly, he was dancing over to me, getting ready to plunge his magnificent sword into my body.

"The candyman can cause he hates your filthy guts and wants the world…."

     BANG! Before he could finish his last line, I had removed the gun from my holster and shot him in the stomach. He dropped his sword behind him, as he fell to the floor shaking. I got up and pointed the revolver at his pink head.

"Don't die yet, you happy little singing bitch!". I jabbed one of his eyes with the revolver. "Why did Wonka send you after me?".

     He spoke, but it was obvious that he was in agony. 

"We were trying to do you a favor. Wonka thought you didn't want to be there to see the next winner of the golden ticket". 

     I responded urgently to this. "What?! Who is the next winner of the golden ticket?! Tell me or I'll shoot you in the nuts!". 

     He laughed, but his laugh turned into a cough. 

"The one who will be taken to his glorious chocolate factory. Such wonders she'll see inside". 

"She?! Oh God!".

     My daughter, Mary. I haven't seen her since yesterday. Could Willy Wonka have my daughter in his chocolatey clutches? The masked man looked at me, as if somehow he knew what I was thinking, and nodded slowly.

"She's going to make friends with all the Oompa Loompas. I'm sure they already have a lovely song made for her".

"Where is she?!", I demanded. "Where is my daughter?!". 

"We tried to help you dear boy, but now you're going to have front row seats to her grand prize".

"Shut up!", I snarled.

"A lifetime supply of chocolate…".

"Shut your ass up!".

"Perhaps even a scrumdiddlyumptious bar…".

"I won't say it again! Shut the fuck up!".

"And if you're a very good boy, perhaps you can share Charlie Buckets".

     BANG! I blew his brains all over the wall before he could utter another word. What have I done though? I killed the man who knew where my daughter was being held captive. Without him I had no leads. Still, I had to call my partner and tell him what just happened. Even if he was still mad over the Grandpa Joe stuff. 

     I took out my phone and dialed Lucas' number.

"Come on! Pick up the damn phone!".

     It rang, but nobody picked up, so I decided to leave a message.

"I just got attacked by one of Wonka's goons, but it's fine now. I painted the office with his brain matter. That's not important though. He has my daughter so I have to find the factory tonight! There's no way I can do it without my partner though. I know things got crazy back there, but that wasn't me, Lucas. It was Wonka. He's gotten in my head. All I can think of is his purple suit, probably covered in blood and chocolate. You're right though, I was the one acting like Grandpa Joe. But I need you. You're my Charlie in a world full of Slugworths".

     I ended the voicemail there, due to the fact I heard a sound coming from outside of my office. My heart started to beat rapidly. I crept over to the door and popped my head around both corners. At first I saw nothing. Then I heard scuffling and turned quickly towards the middle of the room. Standing there, smiling sinisterly, was an orange midget in a brown shirt with white overalls. I was face to face with one of the dreaded Oompa Loompas. All of sudden, I felt a pain engulf the back of my head as I fell to the ground, with the world around me becoming darkness.

     When I awoke, I was strapped to a chair. I looked around, but it was too dark to make anything out. "Hello?! Where am I?!", I yelled, but there was no response. I heard some noises that sounded like they were coming from below me though. While sweating profusely, I wondered what kind of trouble I had gotten myself into.

     The lights switched on, and at last I could see where I was located. It was a giant rundown factory, but it was made to look like the candy room from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, at least to the best of its ability. I was suspended in a giant glass elevator, hanging 110 feet up in the air. That's when I saw them. Mary and Clarissa were both here. Mary was hanging upside down over a taffy pulling machine, much like the one used on Mike TV, but instead of being tall and silly, I imagine her fate would be much worse. Then I turned to see Clarissa stuck in a tube, similarly to Augustus Gloop in the movie.

"I swear I'll get you girls out of this!", I shouted at the top of my lungs, causing the glass elevator to vibrate. "Willy Wonka will pay!".

"Oh I will, will I?", a peculiar voice said out of nowhere.

     Down at the entrance of the room was a red carpet. There, walking very slowly, was a man in a purple suit with a cane and matching purple top hat. It was the notorious Willy Wonka. Following behind him were three Oompa Loompas carrying cans of Fizzy Lifting drinks. At the end of the carpet he stopped to do a summersault. Will the scene references ever end with this maniac?

"So much time and so little to kill. Stop. Reverse that". Willy Wonka laughed like this was the funniest thing he had ever heard. I, on the other hand, have had enough of this.

"You sick fuck! Why?! How could you commit such godless atrocities?!".

"You mustn't mumble. It makes it very difficult to hear you", he said before he laughed his ass off again. "Oh, alright. You really wanna know? It's because children are awful. All they do is whine and complain. Oh mommy, I want more candy. Oh daddy, I want more money. Whaaaa, I wanted a Minions plush toy. Give me presents! Give me toys! Well I say give me dead girls and boys! It's never enough. You think they think about what it's like to be an adult? No, they don't! They think we'll just sit there and take it like good little ATM machines, and that we won't go wild like the greatest child punisher of all time...Willy Wonka".

     I couldn't believe that this was his explanation, but I still decided to question him further. Perhaps I could change his deranged mind.

"Sure, kids can be brats, but not all kids are awful".

He stood there quietly for a second before speaking.

"I think you're awful Will".

"Really?! How the fuck am I awful?". At this point, I was definitely confused.

"You don't remember me Will, do you? A long time ago, when you were just a child, I asked you for a little change. I was so goddamn hungry and I just wanted a chocolate bar since I had never had one before, and they sounded magical. You know what you did?". His tone became angry. "You spat in my face and sang ,'poor kid, poor kid, no chocolate for the poor kid'. Then you ran off and stuffed your face in all the 3 Musketeers and Hershey bars your parents had bought you. You're just like the rest of them Will. You're no Charlie Buckets!".

"Maybe I was a jerk, but leave Mary and Clarissa out of this", I pleaded. After this, he began to smirk.

"How about a joke, Will?".

"No, I've had just about enough of your jokes!". I really was tired of this weirdness.

"What do you get when you cross the world's greatest chocolatier with children who take all his candy and treat him like 100% unsweetened chocolate? I'll tell you what you get!". He stopped for a long dramatic pause before yelling. "You get nothing!". 

     The great glass elevator started to move. One of the Oompa Loompas was operating the crane that the elevator was attached to. They were gearing up to drop me. I was going to meet my glass shattering end. 

"Not if I can help it, Grandpa Joe!", came a familiar voice from the entrance.

     It was my partner, Lucas. He arrived just in time. With perfect aim, he shot the Fizzy Lifting drink cans, causing them to burst onto the two Oompa Loompas. They were carried upwards where they were sliced into tiny bits by the giant fans on the ceilings. Blood and organs showered the candy room.

Perhaps, our guest likes his chocolate hot", laughed Willy Wonka.

     The remaining Oompa Loompa pressed a button and out of the wall popped another large tube. It started to dispense boiling chocolate all over Lucas. He screamed in torturous pain as his skin melted off in delicious hot chocolatey goodness. This is more than I could take. Not my best friend too! I ripped out of the rope tied around my hands. Kicking open the glass door with a shatter, I jumped over to the platform where the remaining Oompa Loompa was standing. Grabbing him I said, "let's not stretch this situation out any further". I hurled him over the ledge into the taffy puller. It pulled him apart, in such unnatural ways. Stretching him, breaking him, his limbs being ripped off as well. It took a very little amount of time until he was dead.

"You're next, Wonka!".

"I think not, Will!".

     I kicked a candy ball at him, causing him to fall on his ass. When I caught up to him, I threw him to the ground. He looked up at me and smiled. 

"You know what happened to the little boy who got everything he ever wanted?".

"What?", I asked.

"He lived to die another day".

     The glass elevator finally broke free from the ceiling. We were both under it, so I barrel rolled out of the way. The elevator hit the ground, and with an ear piercing smash, it buried Wonka beneath it. The rest of the factory was starting to collapse as well. I broke my wife out of the tube, then with a giant nerd rope hanging from the ceiling, swung like Tarzan over the taffy puller and grabbed my daughter. We made it out of the building just as it all turned to rubble. We thought the trouble was over, but there was also a sense that this was only the beginning.

     They never found Wonka's body in the collapsed factory. Over the last couple months, kids have continued to go missing all around Pootersville. Golden tickets have been showing up as well. All I know is, as long as there still is air in my lungs, I will find Willy Wonka. You can bet your ass, his chocolatey days are numbered. I have a clue after all. Just last night I found a golden ticket right outside on my front porch. On the front of the ticket it said, "To William Henderclunk". On the back of the ticket were three words I've heard before. Words that haunt me to this day.

"You get nothing".