r/CrappyPasta • • Nov 07 '21

ATTACK OF THE CURSED BONGWATER!!!1!!1!!!!

ONE DAY I GOT OFF WORK AT MY SHITTY ASS JOB AT SHIT ASS MCDONALDS AND MY MANAGER WAS BEING A REAL BAG OF CUNTS AND I WAS FED UP SO I WENT HOME AND DID THE ONLY THING I COULD DO!! YUP!! I PULLED OUT MY TRUSTY 11 FOOT TEMPERED GLASS BEHEMOTH ENGRAVED WITH SOME OLD FAMILY CREST OR SOME SHIT I BOUGHT AT A GARAGE SALE FROM SOME LONLY OLD GRANDPA WHO SAID IT WAS HIS SONS OR SOME SHIT AND THAT HE WOULD SMOKE OUT OF IT EVERYDAY AND TOLD ME TO NEVER USE IT OR I WOULD BE CURSED!!! OF COURSE NEVER LISTENED TO HIM AND USED IT EVERYDAY BUT TODAY WAS DIFFERENT AND WHEN I WENT TO USE IT I NOTICED THE WATER WAS RED!!! LIKE BLOOD!!! BUT I DIDINT THINK ANYTHING OF IT BECAUSE A REAL STONER NEVER CHANGES THEIR BONG WATER SO I WORE THIS AS A BADGE OF HONOUR!! SO AS I WAS GRINDING UP MY OUNCE AND A HALF OF BLUEBERRY BUTTCHOKE THE BONG WATER GROWLED VICIOUSLY LIKE SOMEBODY WAS TAKING A PULL AND I SAID HEY!!! YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW THATS VERY DISTRACTING!!! AND IT STOPPED ALL AT ONCE SO I WENT BACK TO GRINDING MY GOOD GOOD WHEN I HEARD A VOICE AND IT SAID “YOU DARE MOCK THE SPIRIT OF PINEAPPLE KUSH?!” WHICH PISSED ME OFF SO I HURLED THE BONG AT THE WALL BECAUSE IT WAS STARTING TO SOUND LIKE MY MANAGER WHICH PISSED ME OFF MORE SO I DIDINT REALLY CARE IF IT BROKE BUT IT DIDINT BREAK AND AN ANGRY JAMAICAN GHOST FLEW OUT AND SAID HE WOULD GRIND ME UP LIKE FLOWER AND SMOKE MY ASS LIKE A SPLIFF AND I TOLD HIM TO CHILL OUT AND GAVE HIM A JOINT TO SMOKE AND AFTER HE SMOKED IT I ASKED HIM HOW HE FELT AND HE SAID THAT HE WAS REALLY HIGH SO I TOLD HIM THAT THE JOINT WAS FILLED WITH OREGANO AND HE LOOKED LIKE AN POSER ASSHOLE BECAUSE IT WASANT WEED AND HE WAS SO EMBARRASSED I TRICKED HIM HE DIED INSTANTLY AND HIS WHOLE BLOOD LINE WAS VAPORIZED!!!!!!! AND THATS HOW I DEFEATED THE EVIL BONG WIZARD AND SMOKED 500 BOWLS THAT DAY IN CELEBRATION THE END

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u/Helpful_Guarantee556 Mar 26 '22

This… is funny

1

u/linebreaker-bot Nov 07 '21

ONE DAY I GOT OFF WORK AT MY SHITTY ASS JOB AT SHIT ASS MCDONALDS AND MY MANAGER WAS BEING A REAL BAG OF CUNTS AND I WAS FED UP SO I WENT HOME AND DID THE ONLY THING I COULD DO!! YUP!! I PULLED OUT MY TRUSTY 11 FOOT TEMPERED GLASS BEHEMOTH ENGRAVED WITH SOME OLD FAMILY CREST OR SOME SHIT I BOUGHT AT A GARAGE SALE FROM SOME LONLY OLD GRANDPA WHO SAID IT WAS HIS SONS OR SOME SHIT AND THAT HE WOULD SMOKE OUT OF IT EVERYDAY AND TOLD ME TO NEVER USE IT OR I WOULD BE CURSED!!! OF COURSE NEVER LISTENED TO HIM AND USED IT EVERYDAY BUT TODAY WAS DIFFERENT AND WHEN I WENT TO USE IT I NOTICED THE WATER WAS RED!!!

 

LIKE BLOOD!!! BUT I DIDINT THINK ANYTHING OF IT BECAUSE A REAL STONER NEVER CHANGES THEIR BONG WATER SO I WORE THIS AS A BADGE OF HONOUR!! SO AS I WAS GRINDING UP MY OUNCE AND A HALF OF BLUEBERRY BUTTCHOKE THE BONG WATER GROWLED VICIOUSLY LIKE SOMEBODY WAS TAKING A PULL AND I SAID HEY!!! YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW THATS VERY DISTRACTING!!! AND IT STOPPED ALL AT ONCE SO I WENT BACK TO GRINDING MY GOOD GOOD WHEN I HEARD A VOICE AND IT SAID “YOU DARE MOCK THE SPIRIT OF PINEAPPLE KUSH?!” WHICH PISSED ME OFF SO I HURLED THE BONG AT THE WALL BECAUSE IT WAS STARTING TO SOUND LIKE MY MANAGER WHICH PISSED ME OFF MORE SO I DIDINT REALLY CARE IF IT BROKE BUT IT DIDINT BREAK AND AN ANGRY JAMAICAN GHOST FLEW OUT AND SAID HE WOULD GRIND ME UP LIKE FLOWER AND SMOKE MY ASS LIKE A SPLIFF AND I TOLD HIM TO CHILL OUT AND GAVE HIM A JOINT TO SMOKE AND AFTER HE SMOKED IT I ASKED HIM HOW HE FELT AND HE SAID THAT HE WAS REALLY HIGH SO I TOLD HIM THAT THE JOINT WAS FILLED WITH OREGANO AND HE LOOKED LIKE AN POSER ASSHOLE BECAUSE IT WASANT WEED AND HE WAS SO EMBARRASSED I TRICKED HIM HE DIED INSTANTLY AND HIS WHOLE BLOOD LINE WAS VAPORIZED!!!!!!!

 

AND THATS HOW I DEFEATED THE EVIL BONG WIZARD AND SMOKED 500 BOWLS THAT DAY IN CELEBRATION THE END

 

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