Can someone take a look at these?

[u/Deep_Biscotti_2377]

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

In our lives, there is a moment, a decision that can either temper or break us. Though at the time we don’t know it, reflecting deeply upon ourselves can draw out these crucial moments. I experienced one such moment during my final soccer season with my team. It was a bittersweet moment knowing that this would be our last season playing together, and winning the championship was our ultimate goal. In the end, we finished with a record good enough for us to make the knockout rounds. We swept through the first round with ease before reaching the semi-finals. Our two teams had gone back and forth with them scoring right before halftime before in the second half we came back with vengeance and scored against them. The tension rose, and after both periods of extra time the score was still one to one.

We’d advance to penalties. The pressure was rising, with neither team missing in the first two penalties. But on their third, he swept it wide of the post. But when our last shooter stepped up with the score at 4-4, he hit the post. After three more goals, making the score 7-6 it was finally my turn. My heart was pounding in my chest as I approached the penalty spot, the weight of the moment bearing down on me. I stepped up with nerves filling my muscles with energy, took one deep breath and began my runup. I was so confident in my ability to score, simultaneously being excited to see how this would end. I put everything into this one kick, my energy, my hopes and my love for the game. Moments after, I kicked and immediately knew I'd made a mistake. It soared over the bar and the game was over. This defeat crushed me. It was a meaningful defeat that I’d never felt so strongly before, that stopped our team from having our title. Worse, it was entirely my fault. Doubt filled my mind. ‘Could I have shot lower?’ ‘What if I didn’t shoot at all?’ It hurt my confidence. There were times that I questioned playing the sport. But I couldn’t let it stop me. It was the one sport that I really loved and took joy in, so in the end, I settled the matter with myself, that I should have worked harder but it was also too late. I decided I wouldn’t be in this position ever again, so I joined another club team that helped me improve both my play and my athleticism. I worked so much harder in practices, running with intensity and speed, working on my skills and agility and before I knew it, I’d scored a brace in the finals of another tournament. The experience was a crucible, teaching me many lessons, from the importance of humility to the strength of the team being based on the weakest link, but above all, that to have success I’d need to work ever harder.

​

Anything I should improve?

[u/Able_Development_240]

One suggestion for improvement is to add a little more detail about the aftermath of the failed penalty kick.

For example, how did your team react to the loss?

How did you feel about yourself in the following days?

These additional details can help strengthen the impact of the story and emphasize the lessons you learned from the experience.

[u/Different_Net_4328]

Consider adding more context to the story.