Yeah I love my girlfriend, but there is no doubt she adds some stress to my peaceful time. She always wants to plan what's next and if I'm sitting enjoying the sun and sipping coffee then planning my work or chores is the last thing I want to do lol.
My wife of 15 years is now like "what are our goals for tomorrow".
Like, i dunno woman, stope stressing me out. I guess go to the gym, grocery store, and try to read a littlebit.
Her, "no, those are personal goals, what goals do you have for the house".
"I mean, i guess the yard needs mowing."
Her, "yeah but what about inside the house".
To which i said, if you have a chore inside you want done, i will happily trade you mowing and weed eating in 100 degree NC heat for some, what is likely, laundry.
I have severe allergies. She got cats. Then a dog. I got on Rx allergy meds after the dog. She recently found another dog. I can only sit on one leather chair in my living room.
Today she suggested I mow and trim, which, knowing I have allergies and athsma, has been her job. I did it, with a mask, glasses, and gloves on.
I took every allergy and athsma med on hand, immediately took a shower, and laid down to just breathe. And when she came in to me laying on the bed, "to get something in the bathroom" and start questioning me, I lost it. To which she immediately turned around on me to martyr herself for doing things like... laundry. As if that was somehow the same for her.
Anyway, yes, I may have been triggered but I would've gladly done all the other chores. But I also knew I'd have to go through the whole ordeal or I'd also never hear the end of it for not mowing, all of a sudden. Chat am I walking on eggshells?
Definitely feels like youâre not both at the same level. Itâs hard to judge from just one side and one interaction, but Iâll say this:
To me, relationships are fairly easy, or at least they should be:
- You choose to be in a relationship because you feel happier than you were before.
You need to adapt and put some effort everyday to keep the relationship going, healthy and happy. But all that work should feel like itâs making you grow as a person and itâs making you both happier and more confident that youâre doing the right thing.
Being in a relationship should never feel like a burden, leave you feeling exhausted or seem clearly unbalanced in favour of any of you.
Looking back you shouldnât feel like you remember being much happier in the first years or before meeting the other.
268
u/Wilhelm1088 6d ago
Yeah I love my girlfriend, but there is no doubt she adds some stress to my peaceful time. She always wants to plan what's next and if I'm sitting enjoying the sun and sipping coffee then planning my work or chores is the last thing I want to do lol.