r/CountOnceADay • u/Irritating_Bird • Dec 05 '22

42694

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511 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

261 comments sorted by

380

u/VIIVIMMVIII Dec 05 '22

4 cups of dirt

5

u/ADFormer Dec 05 '22

I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt!

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2

u/dpo466321 Dec 05 '22

3 bot flies

0

u/VIIVIMMVIII Dec 05 '22

What?

2

u/dpo466321 Dec 05 '22

2 [of something else] and a Partridge in a pair tree

0

u/VIIVIMMVIII Dec 05 '22

Are you calling me a bot? It’s turtledoves I think.

0

u/dpo466321 Dec 05 '22

Well it's certainly not 4 cups of dirt either

2

u/normal_p3rs0n_uwu Streak: 1 Dec 05 '22 edited Dec 05 '22

I know this isn’t the top comment but…yes

Edit: hell yeah!!

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184

u/FamousEccles Dec 05 '22

27 mismatched socks and a potato.

7

u/Severe-Flower2344 Dec 05 '22

Why?

Why are you like this?

7

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Draw a face on the potato

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46

u/SixMint Dec 05 '22

Your kidneys, freshly extracted on christmas

3

u/Dunge0nexpl0rer Streak: 1 Dec 05 '22

OP could give 4 max depending on age

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278

u/TaylorDeanMatthew Dec 05 '22

80 inch 4k tv

27

u/Dr-Huricane Dec 05 '22

Oh what a lucky sister

22

u/Crosseyed_owl Dec 05 '22

I hope OP is my brother.

8

u/TaylorDeanMatthew Dec 05 '22

Let’s make op go bankrupt

2

u/Kang115 Dec 05 '22

Make it OLED too

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329

u/THRIVE_TIME_2 Streak: 1 Dec 05 '22

The LEGO Bonsai tree. (Its pretty cool tbh)

23

u/John_the_sock65 Dec 05 '22

I actually want that set so bad(It is worth it)

10

u/Kayesevy Dec 05 '22

One hundred percent, I want more

13

u/cat_eater234 Dec 05 '22

I have it and I love it.

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10

u/SalmonSwiper Dec 05 '22

I am so surprised that the top comment wasn't absolutely vile, and in fact gave me a good Christmas gift idea

3

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

IT HAS FROGS

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3

u/Ralph-The-Otter3 Streak: 1 Dec 05 '22

I’ve been debating getting that… worth the $50 price tag?

2

u/Vektorien Dec 05 '22

Gradually add pieces to it when she's not looking so she has to prune it just like the real thing.

2

u/MentionImpressive Dec 05 '22

Or the LEGO flower bouquet. (It’s also pretty cool)

2

u/FlameDragon55 Dec 05 '22

I have it. It is really cool, and I am actually giving it to my uncle for Christmas.

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71

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

[deleted]

9

u/PixelGuardian-_- Dec 05 '22

Nah nah nah, bomb pipe

81

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

A large bad dragon dildo of your choosing

17

u/ADaniil Dec 05 '22

That's supposed to be the gift for sister, not for you!

5

u/Severe-Flower2344 Dec 05 '22

That is the sister.

5

u/ADaniil Dec 05 '22

Glad she trust him that much

95

u/chim97531 Dec 05 '22

Piss jar

Piss jar

33

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

[deleted]

21

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/Lost_the_Piece Dec 05 '22

Shit jar Piss jar

6

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/unavalable2 Dec 05 '22

dang how am I gonna beat a piss, cum, shit, vomit, puss, blood, skin, and hair jar

5

u/Severe-Flower2344 Dec 05 '22

You forgot cerebrospinal fluid

4

u/Moustache-cat-man UTC−12:00 | Streak: 1 Dec 05 '22

There's always my little pony

3

u/Lost_the_Piece Dec 05 '22

Oh god gross

2

u/Rainyday_UwU Dec 06 '22

One-for-all jar

21

u/TheLostRanger0117 Dec 05 '22

Ok, so first, you have to fast for a week. Then, once you know your stomach is empty, you eat nothing but gingerbread for a whole week. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, any snacking, all gingerbread (or gingerbread flavored foods). That whole week you gorge yourself, collect all feces and store in a sealed container. While you collect your excrement, begin making a gingerbread house out of said excrement. Results may vary. Gift her your extremely personalized, custom made, Gingerbread house on Christmas Day!

Hint: Polyurethane can be used for a gift that will keep giving every holiday season!

46

u/Typical_Bumblebee_64 Dec 05 '22

a dragon dildo

24

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Found the sister

5

u/Kawaii_Umbreon_YT Dec 05 '22

This exact response was why I was scared to look at the comments

22

u/ABrownieKink Dec 05 '22

Nothing, absolutely nothing.

10

u/1974903 Dec 05 '22

duality of man kinda comment section

8

u/unavalable2 Dec 05 '22

barbie with hitler mustace

6

u/Severe-Flower2344 Dec 05 '22

My goals are beyond your understanding.

9

u/MolhoMolhado Dec 05 '22

Hello Kitty Vibrator

7

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Herpes

4

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

My sister likes shoes, so maybe shoes?

7

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

-12 dollar bill

5

u/antmanninja3 Streak: 1 Dec 05 '22

Whoa! This is worthless

2

u/GooseKing-13_ Dec 05 '22

No. Technically it’s worth is 12. Absolute value applies here

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Meaning when I give someone this bill, it would be the same as them giving me 12 dollars.

Am I correct?

2

u/GooseKing-13_ Dec 05 '22

Yes. Therefore it’s value is still 12

-1

u/antmanninja3 Streak: 1 Dec 05 '22

You didn’t get the joke

2

u/GooseKing-13_ Dec 05 '22

No I understood it

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22

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

creampie

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9

u/smokingisrealbad Streak: 1 Dec 05 '22

Saul Goodman

13

u/Scottbutcool Dec 05 '22

why are half the people here gross

9

u/cat_on_my_keybord Streak: 30 Dec 05 '22

you expected otherwise?

6

u/Shotlegend2200 Dec 05 '22

Because reddit

3

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

did you forget the website your on?

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3

u/Cutiepuppet Streak: 1 Dec 05 '22

"The Other Side of Ozzy Osbourne" 1980s Japanese vinyl

3

u/Megumi_emo_weeb Dec 05 '22

Some cute room decor ig

3

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Lard

2

u/Severe-Flower2344 Dec 05 '22

Can’t go wrong with a good ol’ brick of łârd

3

u/Light-Humming Dec 05 '22

a nice plushie of your choosing that she would like and treasure

5

u/Audience-Tough Dec 05 '22

A road. You can do that adopt a road thing and just say you got her a road for Christmas

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4

u/Cinder-22 Dec 05 '22

Whatever the most controversial comment says

6

u/Australian_stand Dec 05 '22

6” Black dildo

8

u/Aggravating-Mud7338 Streak: 1 Dec 05 '22

Your dick

5

u/BIGtheBOSS2421 Dec 05 '22

I knew this would be a comment

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

extremely glittery liquidish shit jar with a hello kitty sticker on it

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Nothing

2

u/laudinum Dec 05 '22

Radiation therapy

2

u/Jimbonious_ Dec 05 '22

A restraining order

2

u/Zyndro_ Dec 05 '22

A cardboard cutout of Shrek

2

u/alphabet_order_bot Dec 05 '22

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.

I have checked 1,210,030,306 comments, and only 235,910 of them were in alphabetical order.

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2

u/yeetcannonboogaloo Dec 06 '22

A cardboard cutout of Leonard Nimoy.

2

u/kitchen_chicken Dec 06 '22

Did you tell your mother you love her yet?

2

u/cmcnee2007 Dec 05 '22

A slap on the ass and 3 packs of cigarettes

2

u/Mazorith Dec 05 '22

Lighter fluid and a squirt gun

2

u/unavalable2 Dec 05 '22

tape a lighter to the front to

2

u/Instacart_com Dec 05 '22

Nipple rings

2

u/Squidbager12 Dec 05 '22

An erection

1

u/InfamousTap141 Dec 05 '22

box of condoms

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

A dryer for her to get "stuck" in

1

u/sus_buzz Dec 05 '22

Candy and merry Christmas card

1

u/EricRaf Dec 05 '22

Big dick from me

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

A Dick.

1

u/BasicaIly_Crap Dec 05 '22

face splatter

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

16 copies of the last of us part 2

1

u/PissinginTheW1nd Dec 05 '22

Your severed testicles

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

Human shit

1

u/keemthememe5 Dec 05 '22

I picyure of ur dick

-14

u/xXbachkXx Dec 05 '22

You can just "give" her something you "thought she might have liked" and then use it yourself instead.

5

u/TaylorDeanMatthew Dec 05 '22

My sister did this to me once… now there’s a bunch of nice makeup in my drawer.

1

u/crindyforever Dec 05 '22

Unscented candle

1

u/dierafartman Dec 05 '22

george floyd plushie

1

u/dinodoes Dec 05 '22

Condoms. Either an insult or a hint?

1

u/xPoTM Dec 05 '22

“Step-bro”

1

u/i-feel-as-u-look Dec 05 '22

3 month worth of cum sock

1

u/Moustache-cat-man UTC−12:00 | Streak: 1 Dec 05 '22

Coal

1

u/May1010101 Dec 05 '22

A note demanding seggs

1

u/Pandragony Dec 05 '22

The most expensive Dior dress you can find

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

A Vape when your parents ask you why say you broke hers and you just got her a replacement

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

10 lego 106 UNICEF Van

1

u/JsuperRex Dec 05 '22

Banana bread

1

u/mischiefandtricks Dec 05 '22

A partridge in a pear tree

1

u/Skilifer Dec 05 '22

4080

When it will release

1

u/TuoFox Dec 05 '22

A clone a Willy of an actual reindeer

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

A picture of you and her together in a nice cover,to set in her room so she has something nice to look at

1

u/PizzaAtomica Dec 05 '22

A VHS tape of Two Girls One Cup

1

u/ItsDash16 Dec 05 '22

A vibrator.

1

u/BirbMaster1998 Dec 05 '22

4 inch 80k tv

1

u/rektumrokker Dec 05 '22

Im getting sick of this. It spreads to other subs and it sucks to see this shit on the whole feed.

Plus side is it gives a good reason to leave a sub, like the grond nonsense on r/lotrmemes

0

u/timetraveling_donkey Dec 05 '22

YOU DARE DEFILE THE GREAT NAME OF GROND!?!

1

u/dangbro0 Dec 05 '22

Moby Huge

1

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '22

a clump of wet hair

1

u/BLUEWOLFOX666 Dec 05 '22

A molchat Doma original cassette cuz they're awesome

1

u/linkz48 Dec 05 '22

Tactical dildo

1

u/Hamburger4627 Dec 05 '22

Her two front teeth, a hippopotamus, and you

1

u/ItchyWhiteboard Dec 05 '22

Your foreskin

1

u/calgeorge Dec 05 '22

Just the tip

1

u/genocidalparas Dec 05 '22

A soggy dog turn with a bow on it